“What the heck is she on?” mumbled the captain as he eased the boat away from the dock. Jessie curled up on the cabin floor and rocked back and forth.
“The hell if I know. I’d take her to the hospital but I don’t think they’d know either.”
“I think she’s hallucinating. Do you see her eyes?”
Her pupils were so dilated that her eyes were nearly black as opposed to their usual deep green, and her eyes were darting back and forth.
“You might be right. I just want to get her somewhere safe until it wears off. I’m hoping if she’s somewhere familiar the come-down process will be easier for her.”
“Gotcha.”
The bow of the water taxi carved through a wave, sending spray curling into the air. His stomach dropped. Was he making a huge mistake here? Should he go straight to the hospital? Or should he have stayed with Jessie in that house until the people who had given her this crap returned? They probably knew how best to come off it.
Which was another reason to get back to Sea Smoke Island, he told himself grimly. This strange drug had to be what the Clydes were smuggling. They must know what it was. As soon as he could, he’d hunt down a Clyde—Brendan, Petey, Clyde himself, whoever—and demand some answers.
In the meantime, he’d make sure Jessie was safe and far out of reach of whoever had done this to her.
37
The world around her turned fluid and confounding. One moment she was forging through a landscape filled with misty light. She barely knew who she was. The name “Tina” echoed somewhere in her brain like a tiny faraway bell. But it seemed absurd, a ridiculous combination of syllables that meant nothing.
Maybe that was because she was nothing. A mere gnat in an infinite ocean of dreams.
At other moments, the fog cleared and she knew she was on a boat. A big one, very fancy, and a woman with white-blond hair was scolding her—or someone with her.
“You lied to me! You should have told me what Hendrik was up to.”
“Why are you yelling at me? You’re the one sleeping with him. With his resources, I don’t stand a chance. Anyway, none of that matters now. We have to do something with this one or we’re all screwed.”
“Do something? Do what? You know I can’t take any risks right now. If any of this gets traced to me…no, this is on you, little brother. You should never have brought her here. And you should never have named that drug after a murder! What were you thinking?”
“It’s not just the murder, there’s layers of meaning to it.”
Her head didn’t want to turn, but she forced it to so she could see who the angry blond woman was talking to. A man stood next to her, his hand firm on her shoulder. She knew him. No, wait, she knew both of them. They were dangerous. Villains. They’d done bad things and she was supposed to do something about it.
That was her job. She was a being with a job, a purpose. She clung to that concept with all her might. She had a purpose, and she had a partner. Someone working with her, someone she cared about, someone she could count on…he was called Jack…so absurd, just that one little sound, so abrupt, so comical…then the fog swept through her again and she got lost in hypnotic swirling light and dreamy happiness. Nothing matters. I just have to float along and everything will be okay.
They were on a different boat now, a smaller one. The brown-haired man was making her eat something, some weird piece of paper. She had to stop him, had to keep it out of her system. Was his name Adam? No, it was something else. Did he have two names? It was so confusing that she wanted to give up and sink into the happy dream state that beckoned to her. Do what he wants. What does it matter? That’s the only way to find peace.
She swallowed the paper—it tasted pleasant, like rice paper with a hint of vanilla—and let the fog close over her head again.
The next time she surfaced, she found herself walking through some woods—pine trees mixed with birch, their leaves bright gold and fluttering in the wind. That same man was walking in front of her, leading her by the hand. This time she knew who he was.
He was Adam. And Seth. And also Lloyd. All his names came back to her, along with the clear knowledge that he was drugging her with something. Whatever it was, it disabled her ability to make decisions for herself. Even though it put her into a really good mood, it was doing other things too. It was messing with her memory and her executive functioning.
Executive functioning.
That’s what it was. Those words felt so solid, so official. Like two rocks she could stand on. She filled out their definition carefully, as if building a house on top of them. Executive functioning was the ability to manage tasks and emotions. Stress and depression could disable executive functioning, and so could dementia and other psychiatric disorders. And so, apparently, could this drug they were giving her?
She stumbled over a root on the path and Seth turned to check on her. She kept her expression blank and her gaze unfocused. If he thought the drug had worn off, he’d give her more of it, and she couldn’t allow that to happen.
“Why’d you have to be such a pain in my ass?” he grumbled, as he helped her to right herself. “I’m trying to do some good in the world. This is so much bigger than me, and it’s definitely bigger than the local police.”
Local police. Right! She was a police officer in Harbortown, Maine. This was Maine, she was sure of it. She could nail it down even further—she’d bet anything this was Sea Smoke Island. The air held the tang of salt and she could hear the cry of seagulls chasing a lobster boat and the clang of a bell buoy rocking with the ocean swells. Maybe it was the red one that marked the reef off the southern tip of the island.
Should she ask him? No, absolutely not. Her only chance here was to avoid getting drugged again. Her limbs were still moving sluggishly. Every step felt heavy and difficult, which was why she’d stumbled over a little old root. If she wanted to escape, she’d have to get her legs working properly.
Worst of all, part of her craved that dream state and wanted to go back to it more than anything.
