He just knew it hurt.
“Huck. I didn’t know about you,” Rowan said quietly. “I swear on my life, I didn’t know you existed until a few days ago.”
More silence.
“But Mom said my dad was dead. And she wouldn’t lie to me.”
What a good kid. “She didn’t lie. She thought I was dead. For a long time, everyone thought I was dead. It was…complicated.” He searched for words that would make sense to a ten-year-old. “Because of my job, I had to disappear for a while. Your mom had no way of knowing I was still alive.”
Huck drew in a breath and looked at him then, those blue eyes bright with tears. “What kind of job?”
“Soldier. I was a soldier. Just like I told you. Just like your mom told you.”
Huck swallowed. “Why did you come back?”
“Well, my mission—the one that kept me dead—ended. And the first thing I thought of was…well, seeing your mom. I needed to tell her I wasn’t dead. And then I heard about your great-grandpa dying and…he was important to me, so I thought I’d stay and help and…” He put his hand on Huck’s shoulder. “And then I met you.”
Huck just kept staring at him. “Did you know I was…who I was?”
“No. Not until a couple days ago.”
“Then why did you stay?”
“Because…like I said, I love your mom. And I love you.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“I know you’re brave. I know you ride like you were born in the saddle. I know you practice roping until your hands blister because you want to be the best.” Rowan’s voice roughened with emotion. “I know you take care of your mom and help around the ranch and that you’ve got the biggest heart of any kid I’ve ever met.”
“Mom told you that stuff.”
“No, she didn’t. I mean, she would, probably. But I can see it for myself.” He turned to him, and now his chest simply cracked and his throat tightened and, shoot, he could barely speak the words. “I know you’re the best thing I never knew I had.”
Huck’s composure broke at that. The tears he’d been holding back spilled over, and suddenly he was sobbing—great, wrenching sobs that spoke of ten years of questions and loneliness and the desperate desire for a father.
And Rowan, shoot, he just reached out and pulled the kid to himself.
Pulled his son to himself.
Because he was his father.
“I wanted you to come back,” Huck choked out between sobs. “Every birthday, every Christmas, every time kids at school talked about their dads. I wanted you to not be dead so bad.”
Rowan’s own eyes burned, filled. He closed them. “I’m sorry, buddy. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”
And then Huck put his arms around him and held on.
Rowan had never felt more undone in his life. “Listen. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”
Huck finally leaned up. “Promise?”
“I promise.” Rowan met his son’s eyes and wiped tears from Huck’s face with gentle thumbs. “I’ve got ten years of birthdays to make up for. Ten years of bedtime stories and homework help and teaching you everything I know about being a man. If you’ll let me.”
Huck studied his face with serious eyes. “Will you teach me to shoot? Like you just did with the snake?”
Of course he would ask that, and Rowan laughed. “When you’re older. Much older.” A smile tugged at Rowan’s lips. “But I’ll teach you to fix engines and change oil and all the things my dad taught me before…”
“Before he died?”
