‘Congratulations.’ Rachel and I got up and hugged her, though we knew she secretly hated it. She never had been, nor ever would be a hugger. She awkwardly returned the cuddle, patting us each on the back as we teased her about her loath of PDAs.
‘I’m so happy for you both,’ Rachel said. Theresa’s husband Patrick was a lovely guy from a large family. Family was very important to both of them.
‘I can’t believe it. This is the best birthday present ever.’ Katie repeated, naming all the nursery treasures she had kept for whichever one of us would be next.
‘Looks like it’s just you and me left doll,’ Rachel whispered quietly as Katie grilled Theresa on the details of her pregnancy.
Rachel and I had always previously been on the same page when it came to wanting kids. I thought better of telling her I would actually birth John Kelly’s babies in the morning.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
FRIDAY 2ND NOVEMBER
Two weeks was an awful long time to go without seeing John, even with the daily FaceTimes, calls and texts. The weekend apart had reminded me, part of me was missing when we were apart.
He apparently felt the same, pouncing on me as soon as he got me through the front door, taking me there and then on the island in his kitchen. Afterwards we lay together, sprawled out on the couch in the sunroom, arms wrapped around each other tightly, listening to the rhythmic sound of the sea only a few metres away, a bottle of red wine breathing on the coffee table next to us. He sat up slowly and poured a glass for each of us.
‘I missed you, girl.’ A sincerity exuded from his startling blue eyes, but the worrywart wondered if there was a ‘but’ coming.
He opened his mouth a couple of times, but seemingly thought better of it, closing it again just as quickly, further igniting my niggling worry.
‘I missed you too, so much.’ I clasped his hands in mine, holding them tightly. ‘Is everything ok?’
‘Everything is fine,’ he assured me. ‘It’s just…’ There was that unspoken ‘but’ again. Did he have something to confess? It was hard to shift my suspicious nature; I was naturally insecure,coming from a family where my father had affairs regularly. Could something have happened last weekend when I wasn’t here? I felt sick thinking about it.
The devil on my shoulder whispered it would only be what I deserved after leaving Rob. Who did I think I was? It reminded me.
I had to mentally slap myself. For God’s sake, the man just told me he missed me, and he certainly showed me how much not ten minutes earlier. I held my breath, silently forcing a small smile, willing him to tell me whatever it was he needed to get off his chest.
‘It’s just…’ he started but stopped again immediately in order to take a sip of his wine, for what seemed like a lifetime. In reality, it was probably only seconds. ‘I… I love you.’ His words were softly spoken, almost shy.
My lips curled into an almighty grin; sweet relief sailed through my core. It wasn’t the first time he’d said it, but it was the first time he intentionally said it. My cocky, confident, self-assured, cool as a cucumber boyfriend was feeling shy about saying that of all things. My heart soared.
‘I love you too, John,’ I told him fiercely. ‘I have done from almost the second I laid eyes on you.’
‘Phew. That could have been awkward.’ He pretended to wipe the sweat off of his brow with the back of his hand. Crisis averted. Placing his arms round me again, he guided my head to rest on his chest and shuffled backwards onto the couch trying to find a position that was comfortable for both of us. I breathed his masculine scent, my favourite smell in the entire world. I wished I could bottle it.
‘The thing is, Lucy, I know we said we’d talk about it at Christmas, but I can’t stop thinking about everything. I want you here. All the time.’ He glanced down at me as he spoke, gauging my reaction.
‘Ah.’ I always knew it would come to this. I knew he’d never leave his life here. And why should he? He had everything; his work, his home, his family, the farm. Recently, I’d come to appreciate the attraction of living here; the countryside, more space, the advantages of living in a small community. And, in fairness, I’d already made a couple of friends, thanks to him. There was also the possibility of a new job in the not-too-distant future.
Though the thought of moving over permanently became increasingly appealing, I still couldn’t be sure I was ready. It was a massive commitment.
The prospect of being with John daily would win out at some point though, I had known it deep down for a long time. It was inevitable.
‘Is that anahyes or anahno?’ He looked at me tentatively.
‘It’s not a no,’ I said quickly, desperate for him to know I wanted to be with him.
‘But?’ It was his turn to wonder.
‘I’m mad about you, John Kelly. I have been since the minute I met you. I’ve said it numerous times. I’d go anywhere in the world to be with you. I love you.’ It rolled off the tongue a lot easier the second time.
‘You’re holding something back from me.’ He was as intuitive as ever.
‘What if I give up my job, give up my life as I know it, move over here and then all of a sudden you see something in me that you don’t like?’
We both knew only too well that was the way things had always been for him before. I did not want to end up on that list. I needed to be one hundred percent sure.
