Would he?
I haven’t been the best judge of character when it comes to men.
Ronan’s different, though.
He loves me.
Finn said the same thing though, didn’t he?
Fuck.
I already feel like I’m drowning, and I haven’t put a foot in the water yet.
Susie leads the way through the marquee and out of the doors. I follow her into the heat of the sun and look around for my boyfriend, but there’s no sign of him.
‘Ah, at least your male counterpart is on time.’ Susie nods to where the sea slaps the shore.
Two men stand facing each other, engrossed in conversation. From this far away, the context isn’t clear, but the boyish backslapping and raucous laughter radiates a playful vibe.
Lucas Beechwood is on the right, wearing sand-coloured shorts and a fitted shirt.
The other, wearing Coral Chic for Him shorts and no shirt, looks sickeningly familiar. A million memories of our time together play like one of those digital photo frames in my mind.
Nausea rushes from my stomach to my sternum. Where is Ronan?
I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this.
As if Finn senses my eyes on his back, his head twists, and narrow eyes stare back at me, the exact same shade of hazel as my daughters’.
And for the first time in seven years, I come face to face with Finn fucking Riley.
Chapter Forty-Two
RONAN
As a rule, I never answer withheld numbers. It’s usually someone trying to sell me something I don’t want, or a sports journalist chancing their arm looking for an interview, or an ex. I don’t have time to deal with any of those right now, but by the time I drop the kids at St. Jude’s, the phone rings for the thirtieth time.
I have somewhere I need to be. Savannah didn’t get the support she deserved this morning because I was distracted, not just by these calls, but by overthinking the logistics of moving in with her.
Should I sell my apartment, or rent it out?
Should I propose to her?
Or is it too soon?
I don’t want to terrify her by coming on too strong, but isn’t committing to living together and raising kids together an even bigger commitment than marriage?
I’ve wanted her for so long, I’m terrified I’ll fuck it up at the last hurdle. I’m so close to reaching everything I ever wanted, I’m scared it’ll slip through my fingers.
Another incoming call resounds through the car speakersystem. I hit the green button flashing on the dash of my in-car speaker system out of sheer irritation, because I can’t think straight.
‘Someone better be dying,’ I bark, rage rippling through my core.
‘Thank fuck.’ My friend Jake’s haggard tone seeps through the air and straight under my skin.
‘Jake, what is it? Are you okay?’ Panic pools inside.
‘I’ve been trying to get you all morning. It’s Jess. They airlifted her to Dublin National Maternity Hospital in the early hours of the morning. She started haemorrhaging.’ His voice cracks with emotion. ‘There was so much blood, Ro. It was everywhere. The baby. I don’t know if they made it…’
