‘Yes. For Nate’s stag. Though, I could think of a million other things I’d rather be doing with you, especially in my big empty house.’
‘There’s always tomorrow, isn't there?’ I don’t want to force myself on him two nights in a row.
‘Absolutely. I took the liberty of booking a table at Prestige.’
Prestige is one of the fanciest restaurants in the city. The venison is to die for.
‘Oh, you did, did you?’ These baby steps are more like giant leaps.
‘Pack an overnight bag.’ He shoots me a wink that makes me dizzier than the circles he’s skating round me on the ice. ‘I want you in my bed.’
Phoebe is a natural. Some kids just are, especially if they’re used to roller blades. Within minutes she’s skating like a professional. Festive music blares. Multicoloured disco lights rotate and flash on a rapid seamless sequence cascading across the slick white ground. The scent of candy floss and crepes fill the air. We laugh and spin and slide around. I almost lose it when a teenager bumps past me, but Cillian grabs my hand, steadying me before I can fall – to the ground, at least.
Our eyes collide. His brim with a display of euphoria I wouldn't have dreamed he was capable of. When our time is up and we hand back our skates, Phoebe turns to me.
‘Are you coming home with us? Matilda left a pot of chilli. Do you like chilli? It burns my mouth but I kind of like it.’ Phoebe adjusts her hat on her head, lifting it from where it keeps falling over her eyes.
‘No, sweetie, I—’
‘Do you have somewhere else you need to be?’ Cillian’s eyebrows hike together.
‘No, but I …’ Going home with him and his daughter isn't taking it slow.
‘Well, it’s settled then.’ He nods and Phoebe jumps in the air with glee.
As Cillian crunches up the driveway, I imagine what it would be like to live here. To live with them. My chest twinges with a longing so acute it physically hurts. I love my apartment, but I’ve always known it’s not my forever home.
Cillian would probably run a mile if he had any idea of the stuff going through my head right now. Especially if he had any idea I’ve watched and wanted him for months from afar.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks quietly as he pulls to a stop at the front door.
I unclip my seat belt. ‘Perfect. Thank you.’
‘That, we can both agree on.’
‘Ava, want to come and play in my room while daddy heats the chilli? I’ve got two more dolls since you were last here.’ Phoebe pipes up from the back seat.
‘Sure, if that’s okay with your dad.’ Cillian nods, opens the driver door, and hops round to open mine, then Phoebe’s.
‘They’re both LOL dolls. Mammy bought them for me. And she bought a huge bag of treats.’ Phoebe explains.
‘Guilt.’ Cillian mouths at me as he unlocks the front door and ushers us in. The delicious aroma of roasted tomatoes tickles my nostrils.
Phoebe shows me her dolls and we dress them up in their different outfits until Cillian calls us down for dinner. The table is set for three, an open bottle of red wine sits in the centre next to a plate of steaming buttery garlic ciabatta. Cillian carries over our plates, his rolled-up shirt sleeves reveal strong, deft forearms that I want to grab onto while …
‘Sit next to me.’ Phoebe insists, patting the huge oak table.
‘Thank you.’ I inhale the steaming hot food placed in front of me. It looks and smells divine.
Cillian pours two generous glasses of wine into crystal glasses and hands me one.
‘Cheers. Thank you for having me.’ I lift my glass up to clink Phoebe’s glass of water.
‘I’ve got a feeling it’s us who should be thanking you for having us.’ Cillian murmurs.
The buzzer sounds from the front door and Phoebe throws her fork down and leaps to her feet. ‘Mammy?’
‘No sweetheart,’ Cillian stands, following her out into the hallway. ‘It’s probably a delivery. Mammy’s coming tomorrow, remember?’ Cillian sighs, ‘Phoebe don’t open the gate. It could be anyone.’
