Mam: How’s Cillian? I think he could be ‘The One.’
I roll my eyes. Sorry Mam. The only ‘one’ Cillian is going to be is ‘the next one’– if I get my way.
Natalie: Mam said your new man almost impregnated you on her doorstep last night. Details!!!!!
If only.
Nate: So, the boyfriend is real! Mam said he almost ate your face off for dessert yesterday. Yuck. Can’t wait until Wednesday.
You and me both Nate.
Bonnie: Any word?
Bonnie’s is the only text I reply to.
Nothing. Roll on Wednesday.
I close my eyes and let my hands wander across my chest, wishing they were Cillian’s. I’ve never wanted anyone physically, the way I want him. I know he’s no good for me long term. I’ve never dated a man where there was no possibility of a future before. But this is different. This is fake. There are no expectations. No pressure. It’s not real. Apart from the carnal cloth-ripping attraction I feel for him, of course.
Will he give into it, though?
My phone vibrates with another text. One that makes my pulse quicken in my neck.
Cillian: I need you. Can you come over? Unless you still feel awkward coming to a strange man’s house.
I pull myself out the bath and go in search of the Brown Thomas bags.
I know exactly what Cillian ‘needs’, because I need it too.
ChapterFourteen
CILLIAN
‘When am I going to meet her, Cillian? It’s been a week, and there’s been no sign of your “serious girlfriend”.’ Teagan’s just put Phoebe to bed, now she’s flouncing around my kitchen in another ridiculous sequinned dress.
Are her frivolous outfits supposed to entice me? All they do is remind me she picked partying over parenting.
The sweater dress clinging to Ava’s curves yesterday was a million times sexier without revealing even a hint of skin. Another reason I haven't been able to get her out of my mind all day.
That kiss.
It’s all I’ve thought about, along with her ‘do you want to come up?’
I might not want a real relationship but I’m only human. A fact which Ava’s stunning face and welcoming warmth worryingly reminds me of. Her sunny smiles infiltrate my cracks and lights the darkest corners of my cynical heart.
And if I were to think about her parents’ relationship, and what I saw and felt yesterday, I’d have to re-examine everything I ever believed. And that’s not something I’m anywhere near ready, or brave enough to do.
I lay awake all night imagining what would have happened if I could have gone up. If my life was different. If Ava and I weren’t so radically different. But we are.
The last thing I need tonight is Teagan’s mental games. As much as I hate her presence here, I’ll never deny Phoebe the rare time she gets with her mother. Teagan made no secret of the fact she’d been preoccupied drinking cocktails all weekend with Dublin’s movers and shakers. It won’t be long before she gets bored and flits off again, but when she dropped in unannounced this evening, she scuppered all my plans of obsessing over Ava Jackson’s long legs and luscious lips.
‘She’s actually on her way right now.’ Texting Ava was a knee-jerk reaction to Teagan’s arrival. One which I probably shouldn't have succumbed to. Especially given I didn't warn her that my ex is here. But if I did, Ava might not have agreed to come over, and with Teagan making herself increasingly comfortable in my house, I’m reminded of exactly why I need this fake-dating arrangement anyway.
Teagan’s pale eyes widen. ‘You’d have her over here while our daughter is asleep upstairs?’
‘Would you rather I invited her over while Phoebe is awake?’ I pour myself a glass of red wine without offering Teagan one. She’s not staying.
‘It’s not right, having women over while our daughter is in the house. She could come down at any time.’ Teagan glares at me and helps herself to a wine glass.
