‘The portrait of Savannah you painted when you were teenagers.’ Mam studies me, waiting for me to remember. ‘It was in your bedroom, but I moved it to the dining room wall last month. I had some friends over for afternoon tea, and Mrs Bridges took quite the shine to it. She’s a big Savannah fan, you know, especially because her own daughter is a single mother. Quite the celebrity Savannah is these days.’ Mam’s eyebrows quirk.
She never openly disapproved of Savannah’s situation, but she never condoned it either.
‘Don’t you want to know how much I sold it for?’ Mam asks.
‘The money doesn’t matter. What counts is that someone was willing to pay for my work. It’s the boost I need right now after everything.’
‘It’s more than a boost, it’s three thousand euro,’ Mam states proudly.
‘What?’ My jaw hangs open.
‘Not bad for a woman who considers herself “not good enough” right?’ Mam sits straighter in her chair, staring me square in the face like she’s waiting for me to challenge her.
‘It’s unbelievable.’ I shake my head in disbelief.
‘I would have charged her double if I’d have known you’re dating a celebrity,’ Mam tuts.
‘We were together, but now we’re not. I can’t be what he needs,’ I admit.
‘Because of the fame? Is that social anxiety plaguing you again?’ Mam’s voice is overflowing with sympathy.
‘No, it’s because a woman like me isn’t —’ Mam’s hand thrusts upwards, halting me before I can utter another word.
‘Don’t you dare say what I think you’re about to say.' She points her index finger at me. ‘You’re my daughter. A wonderful, warm, caring woman. And a damn fine artist. I’m sorry if I made you feel like an underachiever. It was never my intention. But that stops today. Do you hear me?’ There’s a sternness in her tone that dissuades me from arguing with her, even though I can’t agree with her.
Nate is in another league. He always has been. Our relationship will never work, but maybe, just maybe, it’s transformed the relationship I have with my mother. Because I don’t think anything else in this world would have forced us to have the conversation we’ve just had, and for that, I have to be grateful.
ChapterThirty-Six
HOLLY
Another rap on the front door sets my nerves on edge.
‘That’ll be Richard.’ Mam breezes past me like she owns the place. ‘Or your dad.’
It’s actually both of them. Clarissa and Conor are tight on their tail.
My father loiters in the doorway for a split second, eyeing me with trepidation. He’s not the only one who doesn’t know what to say. I’m not sure what’s worse. That he’s seen my boobs, or that his daughter has been shacked up with a movie star for the past few weeks.
‘Hi Dad.’
He hesitates for a split second before striding over and offering a brief, awkward embrace, before patting my arm.
Uncle Richard helps himself to the bottle of brandy on my top shelf. ‘Those dirty paps. As if Holly hasn’t been through enough.’ He pours himself a good strong measure and necks it.
Looks like he might just be able to look me in the eye over my celeriac soup after all. It’s just a shame about the other two hundred and fifty guests we have to take into consideration.
My brother raises his hand in greeting from the corridor. The kitchen is barely big enough for all of us, but I beckon him and Clarissa in. ‘What are you guys doing here? You should be getting ready for the wedding.’
Conor wraps his arms around me and ruffles my hair. ‘We saw the news. Don’t let it deter you from coming.’
I step back from Conor, making space for Clarissa to slide in between us and accept the small tumbler of alcohol Mam offers me. ‘Oh, guys, I’m a laughingstock. Again. What will your guests say?’ I bring the glass to my lips and take a large mouthful.
‘Fuck them,’ Richard proclaims, as my mother winces. Yep, we definitely don’t need to worry about his celeriac soup.
‘Yes, fuck them,’ my best friend calls from the front door, as she lets herself in with my spare key. Savannah’s blonde hair appears in the doorway a second before Ashley’s auburn locks. ‘Any of that left for me?’
‘Oh, girls.’ I nudge past Conor to greet the woman, who’s like a sister to me.
