Alicia’s eyes linger on Callum. She weighs him up as she awaits a formal introduction. I receive a glimpse of how he appears to the rest of the world reflected in her curious stare. Impressive.
‘Any boyfriend we should know about?’ I ask Alicia across the rectangular dinner table. I already know the answer, but I’d like her to open up. Callum pushes his prawn cocktail around his plate next to me.
‘Now that you mention it…’
Daddy releases an exasperated sigh from the head of the table.
‘Alicia changes her boyfriends more often than I change my feckin’ socks. I only wish you girls would settle down for good, don’t you, Cathy? All this “dating this one” and “shifting that one”, it wasn’t like that when we were young,’ he reminisces nostalgically.
‘Grandchildren…that’s what we need at our age,’ Mammy pipes up, tiny splatters of Marie Rose sauce decorate her chin. Both of them seem to have forgotten that at least one of us tried to settle. It hadn’t exactly gone to plan.
Callum’s wine lodges in his throat. He coughs and uses his fist to thump his chest a couple of times. I snigger, enjoying his discomfort. If he thinks these two are bad, wait until the extended relations corner him tomorrow.
‘You do want children?’ Dad asks Callum, sensing a weakness and exploiting it.
It isn’t something we’ve discussed, preoccupied practising conceiving them. My cheeks colour slightly at the thought. I place a hand on his leg under the table in silent solidarity.
‘It’s not something I’ve given a lot of thought to. Realistically, I only have a year or two left in my career, and that’s if I’m lucky. Maybe after that…hopefully.’ Callum glances sideways at me, and I smile widely.
‘You two make me want to vomit.’ Alicia sticks her tongue out in disgust.
‘Tell us about this man of yours.’ I’m desperate to get her to confide in me again.
‘Man? He is still a boy, trust me. He has no idea about the real world,’ Dad scoffs, so cynical in his old age.
‘He’s only three years younger than me, Dad,’ Alicia reminds him.
‘He’s still at bloody school,’ Dad persists.
‘He took a year out to work in Uganda, it’s not like he’s sitting his leaving cert.’
‘What’s he studying?’ Callum attempts to defuse the situation, ignoring Dad’s blatant glare across the table.
‘Ecology,’ Alicia replies. ‘He graduates next month.’
‘Wonderful. Perhaps then he’ll join the rest of the taxpayers that support this lazy country.’ Dad claps his hands sarcastically, and I snigger.
Dad’s fronting a stern show for Callum’s benefit, cementing his position as head of this family. Mammy puts heed to it very quickly, eyeing Callum with a reassuring stare.
‘Noel, will you kindly pull that poker out of your arse please, before it gets wedged up there permanently.’
Everyone, Daddy included, erupts with laughter, dissolving any remaining tension in the room. I clear the starter plates as Dad reluctantly asks Callum about upcoming rugby fixtures. If he’d only give him a chance, they’d get on like a house on fire.
‘What do you think?’ I whisper, stacking the starter plates in the dishwasher, falling into the familiar routine from years gone by.
‘He is an absolute hunk,’ Mam states the obvious. ‘He’s a good man,’ I tell her sincerely.
‘He better be, for his sake. If he breaks your heart, they’ll find that boy’s body in the Shannon, because your father will not tolerate seeing you hurt again.’
I nod, accepting the truth of it, and return to the dining room to check they’re playing nicely. I hadn’t expected Dad to be so cold towards Callum, though his caution’s understandable.
Sean had been accepted as a part of this family for a long time before there was any mention of a wedding. He used to sit round this very table with his school books, drinking infinite cups of tea with the rest of us. It wasn’t just me he rejected – it was all of us.
Mammy excels with roast beef and homemade Yorkshire puddings. Her final course is a rich pavlova. The atmosphere improves as the wine consumption increases. Callum helps me with the dishes while the other three retire to the lounge to watchThe Late Late Show.
‘You ok?’ I place my arms around his toned stomach from behind.
‘Yes.’ He turns and places his sud-covered hands on my waist. I lean on tiptoes to reach in for the kiss that I’ve been fantasising about throughout dinner, only to be interrupted by Alicia.
‘Get a room will you,’ she jibes.
‘We thought we’d start with yours,’ I tell her with a laugh.
‘There’ll be none of that under my roof,’ Dad bellows from the sitting room.
That’s what he thinks.
