‘How are you holding up?’ Sasha’s perfectly blow-dried curls bounce in the soft summer breeze.
She’s asked me the same question every day for the past twenty-eight days.
My answer never changes. ‘Hanging in there.’
It’s the truth. I’m suspended in mid-air, waiting for something. What, I don’t know.
With each day that passes, it’s becoming increasingly clear Archie isn’t coming back. Maybe I’m simply waiting to feel something other than crushing agony every time my delinquent brain summons the image of his huge oceanic eyes. The way his lips curl in a reluctant smile. The feel of his firm, rippled torso beneath my fingertips.
The fear I had that night, tied up and gagged, has nothing on the fear that plagues me now.
I can’t fathom a life without Archie. And I don’t want to, either. His lost presence has consumed every minute of my day and night for a month. It’s been like losing a limb. A part of me is missing, and the pain is more excruciating than anything I’ve ever experienced.
Sasha shoots me a sympathetic smile. ‘I have a surprise for you.’
Unless it’s Archie himself, I’m not interested. Forcing a half-smile, I do a poor job of feigning interest.
‘They’ll be here in…’ Sasha squints at her phone through the sunlight, ‘two minutes.’
‘Who?’ A twinge of hope flickers inside me.
The only person I’m remotely interested in seeing, other than Archie, is Chloe. Where Sasha took on the role of my mother when she passed, Chloe has always remained my cool, older sister.
Chloe’s married to Ryan’s older brother, Jayden. They live in Santa Monica with their five-year-old daughter, Pippa, and their two-year-old son, Jayden Junior.
I used to wonder what might have happened if Ryan and Jayden had had another brother. Though Archie kind of was an adopted brother to them, which is one of the reasons Ryan is taking this entire situation almost as badly as I am.
Right on cue, a granite grey Audi Q7 crunches over the long gravel driveway, pulling to a stop at the front of the castle, where James, one of the castle’s long-standing porters, waits between huge white pillars.
The passenger door flies open before James can open it, and my sun-kissed sister leaps out and throws her arms around him.
‘James. You haven’t aged a day. Seriously, I need to know your skin care regime,’ Chloe teases him affectionately.
‘Soap and a face cloth, and that’s only if I’ve got time.’ James grins, awkwardly returning Chloe’s hug. ‘Welcome home, Miss Sexton.’
‘It’s Mrs Cooper, now, James, I’ll have you know.’ Chloe pushes oversized Chanel sunglasses on top of her head and scans the castle grounds, her eyes falling to me and Sasha as we cross the garden to reach her.
‘Ladies!’ she squeals, running towards us in six-inch stilettos. It seems motherhood hasn’t made her any more practical, not when it comes to fashion, at least.
Jayden slips out from the driver’s side, raising a hand in a silent salute. Like Ryan, his hair’s so dark it’s almost black. They share a lot of the same physical attributes apparently, something I know way more about than I’d care to. My sisters have absolutely no filter when it comes to discussing their husbands’ anatomy. Yuck.
We meet somewhere on the gravel to form a Sexton sister group hug. Tears roll across my cheekbones. Tears of relief to be surrounded by the two women who raised me. Tears of loss. Tears of heartache. Tears, tears and more tears.
‘Oh, sweetie.’ Chloe steps back, lifting my chin with her finger, forcing me to meet her azure eyes. ‘This too shall pass.’
I swipe my tears with the back of my hand. ‘Well, right now, it’s passing like a fucking elephant-sized kidney stone.’
‘You owe us a fiver,’ Bella and Blake screech excitedly from my waist. They high five each other before offering their upturned palms.
‘It’s going to have to be an I owe you, I’m afraid.’ My palm ruffles Blake’s hair, dark like his daddy’s. ‘Unless you take cards?’
‘Where’s Pippa and Jay?’ Blake asks Chloe, too excited to even acknowledge her properly.
‘Uncle Jayden is unbuckling their seatbelts right now.’ Chloe ruffles Blake’s hair.
Bella tugs her mammy’s hand. ‘Why is Aunty Vic crying again?’
‘Because she’s so happy to see her favourite sister.’ Chloe winks at Bella and hands her a fiver for my debt. ‘Go see your cousins.’
