I toss the paperwork onto the muddy, gravelly ground, and climb into the back of the SUV, watching as the rain soaks through the contract. So powerful, so binding, yet under the first drop of water it wilts.
I can relate.
Archie and Frankie, two of Ryan’s most reliable security team, are sitting in the front of the vehicle. There’s a small modicum of comfort in that.
‘Everything ok, Jayden?’ Frankie asks, fingers drumming on the steering wheel.
‘It will be.’ I’m just not sure when. ‘Take me to the airport, please.’
I need to sort my life out, starting with finding out who the fuck the Johnsons are, and pray to fuck that in the meantime, Chloe calms down enough to let me at least explain.
ChapterThirty-Five
CHLOE
I text Sasha to tell her I’ve returned to the castle with a migraine and that the limo is on its way back to pick them up. It’s not entirely a lie. My head is splitting, but not nearly as much as my heart.
How could I have been so stupid? Expecting the biggest player in LA to change his ways and settle down with me. For being vain enough to think the reason he hadn’t been papped with a string of models this year might have anything to do with me.
It’s the sneakiness, the underhandedness, I can’t get over. He’s been lying to me this entire time. None of what we had was real, and yet every single minute with him felt like the most real, the most profound minutes of my life.
Mr Commitment-phobe is getting married. No wonder he was reluctant to commit to me! He was already committed to someone else. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so tragic.
All the time I thought he was sheltering me from the public eye, protecting me, he was protecting himself. I was nothing more than his dirty little secret.
I can’t get my head around it.
His words from the first few weeks ring through my head on repeat. ‘One last final fling.’ He said it himself. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to fall in love with you.’
Then he went and said it anyway, and stupidly I believed him.
I didn’t mean to fall in love with him. I’d never willingly sign up to be the ‘other woman.’ I hate that’s who he made me, but I hate myself more for letting him. I’m such an idiot. My heart aches, but so does my pride. Thank god no one knows about us. Small blessings.
I pace up and down the thick burgundy carpet of my bedroom with an all-consuming urge to flee. To hop on a plane, like I’ve done so many times before, and disappear. My finger instinctively goes to my wrist to snap my elastic band, but the bastard even took that from me.
So much for putting on my big girl’s pants. I might have forged a new, deeper bond with my sisters, but the need to put a million miles between me and this castle remains the same. It’s not my parents I see everywhere now. It’s Jayden.
Firing up my laptop, I book myself onto the next flight back to Dubai. It’s fifteen hours away, which feels like fifteen years right now, but at least I’ll get to see the girls in the morning.
They can never find out about this.
This is exactly why Sasha warned me about getting involved with Jayden. She was right. She knew better. I thought what he and I had transcended everything. Huh, more like transitional. I wish I’d listened.
I brush my teeth, shower, go through the motions, but I’m like a zombie. Dead inside, walking the earth aimlessly. When my head finally hits the pillow, all I can smell is him. Intoxicating aftershave mixed with his heady raw masculinity.
Inhaling the Egyptian cotton, I hate myself for needing to drink him in one more time. Tears flood my face, drowning the bedding as sobs rack through my body.
I’ve experienced more pain than most in my short life, but this serendipitous bout is on a different excruciating level. How long will it take me to piece my shredded heart back together this time?
The truth is, I don’t think it can be done.
I toss and turn all night, barely sleeping a wink, and in the morning it takes a mountain of concealer and foundation to hide the evidence.
Sasha high fives me over the table, her usual bouncing curls matted in a just-fucked, messy nest. ‘Great job on the stage production. The water feature was epic. Seriously, sis, you nailed it. I can’t wait for Edinburgh.’
‘Thanks.’ I sip my coffee, unable to stomach anything more. ‘Speaking of Edinburgh, I’m going to have to meet you there.’ My gaze drops to the floor. I hate lying to her, but I can’t tell her the truth.
This fallout between me and Jayden cannot taint her wedding. On the plus side, everyone thinks I hate him anyway, so that’s nothing new.
