With just his voice, those words and that guitar, he’s succeeding in ruining me for anyone else. As if he hadn’t already done so in every other way. Hot salty tears spill from my eyes, streaking my cheeks, but they’re happy tears.
He gets it.
He hurt as much as I did.
He wasn’t simply placating me.
I’m not in this alone.
Though the circumstances aren’t ideal, we’ll work out the logistics. He needs me as much as I need him.
Jayden leans towards me to murmur into my ear, ‘He always had it bad for you.’
The urge to know more, to understand what their father did consumes me. Feigning ignorance, I ask, ‘Why exactly did you have to leave?’
‘Two words: our father. And I’m not talking about the mysterious dude in heaven. I’m taking about the living, breathing, drinking arsehole who drops in and out of our lives when he needs an injection of cash.’
Though I’d always been aware Ryan’s dad’s activities were less than legal, it’s hard to imagine what could be serious enough that they had to flee the country. Maybe I’m better not knowing. Perhaps that’s why Ryan didn’t fully elaborate.
‘He survived sleeping on the streets of LA better than he survived the loss of you. Don’t dream of rejecting him again.’
Jayden’s words shock, as they intended to. The streets? I had no idea of the hardships they endured before getting where they are today. So lost in my own misery, in my mind it was plain sailing all the way to the bright lights. No wonder he didn’t elaborate. There’s still so much we haven’t caught up on.
My voice is barely more than a whisper. ‘I never rejected him.’
‘He said he left you a note.’ Steely eyes penetrate mine with an unspoken question.
‘If he did, I never found it.’
‘Either way, he’s not exactly been in hiding. You could have reached out, if you wanted to. He spent years pining after you.’
‘I had no idea.’ It dawns on me that if Ryan didn’t know about my parents, there’s a good chance Jayden doesn’t too. ‘I lost more than just Ryan the night you left.’
His head whips round in a curious motion.
Oh I lost that alright, Jayden, but that’s not what I was referring to.
‘My parents were killed in a traffic accident the same night you left. If there was a note, perhaps it got lost in the commotion? While you’ve been monopolising the bright lights of this city, I’ve been trying to keep my own on, back at the castle. No mean feat with two younger sisters, a mountain of staff to pay and a pile of dry rot.’ My eyebrow arches in defiance as the enormity of what I’ve been doing hits us both in unison.
Ryan’s right. Megan’s right. Though their memory is sacred, I can finally appreciate I’ve done my parents proud. It’s time I started living for me now.
Granite grey eyes darken and a burn with a brand-new empathy. ‘Sasha, I had no idea.’
I shrug. ‘Just like I had no idea why you all disappeared into the night. Or that you’d been sleeping rough until you got a break. None of us wear our scars on the outside. Such is life I guess…’
‘Speaking of which…’ Jayden nods in the direction of the stage where the familiar chords of a song I know from a decade ago float through the theatre.
It’s been years, but I’ll never forget that melody. I practically composed it myself. The lyrics were written fireside in the very cabin I’ve avoided for years.
Over the haunting rhythmic melody, Ryan says, ‘This one’s for you, Sasha Sexton. Scratch that, baby, they’re all for you. That’s my girl up there everyone. She’s the most amazing woman I know. It’s always been her.’
A chorus of ‘ohhs’ and ‘ahhhs’ erupt again and it feels like every single person in the theatre is craning their neck to catch a glimpse of the woman who’s stolen the heart of the most eligible bachelor around. Thank god for the security positioned directly outside my box. Initially, I thought they were overkill. I hadn’t realised Ryan was planning on outing us to the world.
Instead of shying away from the attention, I flash the goofiest grin – I can’t help it – before blowing Ryan a kiss.
He’s still strumming that haunting melody. This is the song he put my name to, both on the paperwork and to the world.
‘I called this song “Such is Life.” You might remember it?’
