‘You know that, “I really hate you and I’m totally glad we’re separating, but let’s have one final dirty goodbye shag to make sure” thing I mentioned… you might want to do that with Sasha and then you might finally be able to draw a line under her.’
‘You have no idea.’
‘I do. She was your first love. It got ripped apart before it could naturally run its inevitable course, that’s all. Trust me, what you need is closure.’
‘I doubt it.’
I don’t think I’ll ever get closure on what Sasha and I had. Even at eighteen, it felt like a once-in-a-lifetime love. And if her continued icy demeanour is anything to go by, that’s the way it’s going to stay. Rockstar or no rockstar. Despite the obvious attraction, she’d never let her guard down enough to act on it. And she’s right. Apart from mind-blowing sex, what can I offer her? Her life is here, mine is a million miles away.
‘Look, I gotta go.’ I can’t listen to anymore shite. My brother is a lost cause. ‘Listen to the tracks I sent you and let me know what you think.’
‘I will do.’ Jayden hesitates for a second. ‘Despite the piss taking, I’m proud of you, man.’
‘Thanks.’ Maybe he’s not a lost cause after all.
‘Still think you should give her one, bro. For old times’ sake.’
Scratch that. ‘Bye, Jayden.’ I hang up, wondering what to do with myself for the rest of the night. It’s late, but my body clock’s all over the show with the time difference.
My stomach growls; I’ve missed dinner again, so lost in my lyrics. I could ring room service, but I’ve been holed up in this suite most of the day again and cabin fever’s beginning to set in.
Is it too late to call to the only other suite I know I won’t be hounded by women?
Huh, if only.
Sasha has too much class to hound anyone, even if she wanted to. The other day, she leapt from the couch like she’d been burned.
Stepping out of my suite I amble across the corridor to hover outside the Sexton family quarters. Only silence lurks behind the door. Victoria’s probably in bed. Teenager or not, she’s still a kid at the end of the day, with a full day of school tomorrow.
A door opens further up the corridor. Pierce sticks his head out. ‘You ok, boss?’
‘Fine, just stretching my legs.’
‘There’s security downstairs if you want to go for a walk. Or I can come with you, if you like?’ He glances down at his vest and tracksuit bottoms and I shake my head.
‘It’s fine. I’ll just take a walk to the kitchen. See if I can grab a bite. I’ll be back up in half an hour, tops.’ Any chance I have of slipping around unnoticed evaporates with a man like Pierce flanking me.
He throws me a baseball cap to put on. ‘Buzz if you need me.’ He taps the pager attached to his waist.
‘Sure.’ I don’t mention I left mine in my room.
Sauntering through the castle, I take my time, soaking it all in. Not much has changed. I’m surprised Sasha hasn’t put her own stamp on the place.
Ha! It’s laughable that I consider myself qualified to make assumptions about a woman I knew ten years ago. That Sasha was carefree and brimming with love. The woman who greeted me seems as cold and closed up as I have been myself for the last decade.
Did I do that to her? Or is that just wild vanity on my part? She lost a lot more than me that weekend.
I want to tell her about my dad. To explain I was dragged away, that I didn’t flee willingly, that I’d never have chosen to leave her.
But what’s the point? It doesn’t change anything. If she’d wanted to know she would have asked. I left her a note. She could have found me. I’ve been sprawled over every goddamn newspaper and television station. It’s not like I was in hiding.
No. The best thing I can do is keep my mouth shut and my head down. As soon as I have enough material for two albums, I’ll be back on the first flight to LA, back to the sunny afternoons jamming by the pool. I’ll even be able to strum something that’s not ten years old.
It should be heaven.
So, why does the prospect suddenly seem so empty?
The plan was to come, deal, and go.
