Taking two steps backwards, my hands fly over my eyes. I’ve got to get out of here asap. ‘No thank you. That won’t be necessary. If you wouldn’t mind just picking three sets in Shelly’s size, I’ll meet you back out the front.’
I flee, before she can finish muttering an awkward apology. Her assistant takes my credit card and runs it through the machine. It’s a relief when I step out of the shop into the bright daylight. The boxes are beautifully wrapped and bagged. I load them into the boot and drive to school to pick the girls up. Thankfully, there are no after-school activities today.
Outside the school gate, I thrum my fingers on the steering wheel. The radio producer mentionsSexy Come Dancingand I hit the off button as fast as possible. After watching it on playback, the last thing I need to hear is more speculation on how convincing Shelly and Ben’s last performance was. From now onwards, I need to focus on my own performance, and how to win back my wife’s affection before it’s too late.
The Nissan pulls into the car park. Maddy parks next to me, letting down her window. I haven’t had the chance to speak to her since the kitchen incident.
Letting mine down, it’s an effort to force a smile. ‘Sorry about last week.’
‘No, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking at all. I never meant to give your wife the wrong impression, in fact, I was looking forward to meeting her.’ Maddy ruffles her hair and drags it into a loose ponytail.
‘It would have been easier if I’d mentioned you to her, but things have been a little tense lately. With her being on the show, we haven’t had much of a chance to talk.’ More like I pushed her away, but Maddy doesn’t need the details.
‘What show?’ Maddy’s right eyebrow raises, a blank expression on her face.
‘Seriously?’ Is she trying to spare my feelings, preserving the mad idea that not everyone is the country is watching Ben cosy up to my wife in an attempt to get his claws into her?
‘CNN in our house. Irish TV sucks, sorry.’ She shrugs and a tinkling laugh floats across the car park. She’s not wrong.
The gates open and the girls begin to bundle out from the building, carrying their coats under their arms. Today is unseasonably warm for October. I spot Emily first, she seems to be shooting up with each passing day. Scanning the crowd for Erin, my eyes land on Maddy’s daughter, Zoe. Her hazel eyes light when they land on her mammy waiting with outstretched arms. In fairness to Shelly, she’s right. There are some striking resemblances, not necessarily limited to me, but to Erin as well. It’s just a mad coincidence. It has to be, because I know with unquestionable certainty that I’ve never strayed, no matter how much I had to drink.
Back at the car, Emily’s providing a running commentary of her day, while Erin hunts in her bag for the apple she didn’t eat at lunch. Maddy straps Zoe into the car before closing it with a click.
‘Do you want to bring the girls to the playground?’ she asks, glancing up at the blue sky overhead.
‘Yes!’ Erin and Emily shriek in unison. ‘Please, Daddy, please.’ Erin tugs at my jacket.
A playdate definitely won’t help reassure Shelly there’s nothing going on, yet a mad idea enters my head. Perhaps I couldborrowa drink bottle that Zoe sipped from and use the DNA from that. I shake my head. I’ve gone fucking mad.
Apart from the fact I’m hoping to convince Shelly of the truth without such drastic measures, I can’t risk Maddy thinking we’re all crazy and leaving. If for some reason she were to leave the country, to go back to the States, I’d have no way to prove Zoe isn’t mine – if it really comes to it.
‘Please, Daddy,’ Erin pleads again, while I’m busy staring into space.
‘Ok. Just for a little while.’ When both girls are strapped in, I turn to Maddy. ‘Which playground do you want to go to?’
‘I only know the one over there,’ she points in the direction of the gated one nearby, ‘or the one near me. This one’s probably nicer, given the area.’
‘Let’s meet at the one near you. I wouldn’t mind checking the club.’ Work will be starting within the next few weeks and it occurs to me the Krawley brothers might try some sort of retaliation, before I remember this isn’t some gang warfare. Still, it’ll do no harm to check.
‘See you in twenty minutes or so.’ She hops into the Nissan and I start the car.
‘Can Zoe and Maddy come back to ours afterwards?’ Erin asks from the back seat.
‘Not today, sweetheart.’
With my baseball cap tucked tightly to my head, I find a bench and wait for Maddy and Zoe to arrive. The playground is busy, kids running riot, calling to each other across climbing frames. Erin and Emily head straight for the biggest slide. A few minutes later, Maddy strolls through the gate laden with a chequered blanket and a bag of goodies for a picnic. The girls will love this.
Why didn’t I think of doing something like this for them before? I’ve not only been a little thoughtless regarding my wife, but my daughters too. Shelly always arranged the extracurricular activities. Would it have been too much for me to surprise them with something now and again too? As soon as I get home I’m going to book Lapland for December. Shelly will have finished the show. Things should hopefully be back to some sort of normality by then, with any luck.
‘Hey.’ The blanket falls to the hard ground and she drops onto it, as Zoe runs towards Erin. Maddy is ridiculously easy to be around. With no airs or graces, she’s almost like one of the guys. If only Shelly could see this, she’d understand there’s nothing funny going on, nor ever will be.
‘This was a good idea.’ The late October sun offers little heat but it feels fantastic on my face. Its warmth is reassuring. So is the stash of goodies I have tucked away in the boot to woo my wife back later. Things are on the up, now I’ve finally got my head straight. Glancing in the direction of the old club, I know it’s largely in part to the fact I’ve finally found a sense of direction of my own.
‘I have all the best ideas.’ Maddy flashes me a smile and offers a bag of jelly sweets. ‘Want some candy?’
‘Candy? They’re called jellies in this country.’
‘You say tomato, I say tomato. What difference does it make?’ She flops back, resting on her elbows, gazing up at me with a grin. Several grains of sugar stick to her cheek and I instinctively brush it away, the same way I would with my daughters. She laughs, and finishes the job herself with the sleeve of her Lycra hoody.
How does this woman manage to be so happy-go-lucky all the time? Especially when she’s a struggling single mother. A ripple of guilt flicks through me at the cost of the gifts I bought for Shelly, without a second thought. I’d love to help Maddy, but by Christ, if Shelly thought I was helping another woman financially there’s no way she’d believe Zoe’s appearance is a coincidence. Racking my brain, I try to think of a way I could help her, indirectly.
‘Did you ever find the person you were looking for?’ And if it’s Zoe’s father, all the better. Callum has a friend, Declan. We call him our ‘fixer’. There’s nothing he can’t find out. He discovered the illegal immigrants working for Krawley Construction. If Maddy wants to find the father of her child, then Declan could help.
‘No, I didn’t.’ A frown crosses her face and she stuffs another sweet into her mouth.
‘I might be able to help.’ Dropping from my position on the bench to the grass next to her, I motion for her to shuffle up and make room on the blanket. The girls run by in front of us, engrossed in a game of tag.
Maddy shrugs sadly, staring at her daughter laughing. ‘Some people just don’t want to be found. Maybe it’s better that way.’
