MARCUS
Swinging the golf club with a swift precise motion, I send the tiny white ball soaring gracefully through the blue cloudless sky to land straight in the ninth hole.
‘Not bad.’ Callum squints, cradling his eyes from the blinding September sun-rays.
‘For an old fart.’ I make the joke before he does, though I don’t find it remotely funny .
Shelly left this morning in the Porsche, leaving me the ‘mammy wagon’, the Audi Q7, to take the girls to school. It was completely surreal. I mean, I’ve dropped them off before, but now I’m pretty much daddy day care for the next couple of months. The school accepts girls only, it is the most exclusive in Dublin and caters for the wealthy and elite only. It’s a far cry from the inner-city comprehensive I went to.
Today is Shelly’s first day on the job. I try to push down the niggle of worry in the pit of my stomach. I’m not stupid enough to believe all the innuendos over the years were to annoy me. He was planting the seed. Trying to convince her she’d backed the wrong horse. With him being so super successful as an entrepreneur, and my career disappearing rapidly down the pan, I’m beginning to question if he was right.
Six years ago on tour in France, when rumours were circulating about the captain position, Ben deliberately dragged me out with him on some sort of mission. I didn’t realise it was to buy cocaine. He always preferred the parties to the pitch. He was determined to drag me down to his level. We were stopped and later detained by the French police.
When I eventually got back to my hotel room, hours later, I had forty-six missed calls from Shelly and one of the consultants from The National Maternity Hospital telling me to get the next flight home. I made Erin’s birth by the skin of my teeth.
The thought of him anywhere near my wife makes my skin crawl because I know exactly what he’s capable of, how far he’s willing to go to succeed. Ben played dirty, on and off the pitch.
Shaking off the memories, I stroll companionably next to Callum towards the ‘nineteenth hole’ for a bite to eat. With Shelly gone all day and the girls at school, a morning on the golf course had seemed like the perfect distraction.
In the clubhouse bar, we take a table by the window and scan the lunch menu. The membership is expensive and the clientele are exclusive. Even at this early hour on a Monday I spot two famous actors and a former politician.
‘What’s bugging you, man?’ Callum glances over his menu to lock eyes with me.
‘Nothing.’ I’d rather eat in awkward silence than reveal my insecurities.
‘It’s the show, isn’t it?’ His lips purse together in a grim line. ‘I know there’s this kissing curse that the media goes on about, but you know Shelly would never cheat on you, don’t you?’
Of course I’ve heard of the kissing curse. It’s all the media have been harping on about. The bets are being placed on Gemma Sloane and Sonny Smith shacking up together in the first week – they’re from similar backgrounds and both equally in love with themselves.
She’s married and he has a long term girlfriend. It doesn’t seem to stop anyone on this show though. I’ve been reading way more crap online aboutSexy Come Dancingthan is good for me.
The waitress arrives and we don’t resume our conversation until she’s fully out of earshot. ‘I’m not worried about some stupid curse.’
‘What is it then?’ Callum crouches closer in order to hear my unusually quiet tone.
‘Nothing.’ I pick at the label on my Heineken Zero.
‘Spill, captain. I’m not used to seeing you so quiet. You’re fucking frightening me.’
‘I’m not the captain anymore.’
‘It’s him, isn’t it? Ben Battle.’ Callum’s uncanny ability to read my mind was helpful on the pitch. We could anticipate each other’s moves effortlessly. It’s not so helpful today.
‘Urgh. Even his name churns my stomach. You know he always had a soft spot for her.’ Despite my previous intentions, it’s a relief to voice my concerns out loud.
‘Don’t give it another thought. He’s a liability. Shelly knows that and the audience will see it too. I bet you any money he doesn’t last a week into the live shows. Besides, Shelly knows exactly what he’s like.’ He shrugs, then takes a sip from his drink as if the matter is solved.
‘Does she though? He was always super slick and charming in her presence. He made no secret of his borderline obsession with her. What will he be like if he gets paired up with her for the next ten weeks?’ The remnant of the Heineken label rips in my fingers a bit like the plaster I’m ripping off myself right now.
It kept me awake most of last night, amongst other things. ‘The thought of her swanning off dancing with another man every day just unsettles me. I’m not myself at the moment. I don’t know who I am anymore.’
‘She’s your wife, man. You’ve been together forever. Talk to her. Voice your concerns. Communication is key.’
He’s right. I know he is, but it’s not my strong point. I prefer to hide behind a hard-arse front than reveal even a flicker of insecurity.
Confidence is the most attractive trait in a person and I’m not about to admit that since I retired, mine is at an all-time low.
