He clips my shiny new jewellery around my neck and I slip it inside the royal blue high-necked dress I’m wearing. I love it almost as much as those three little words we exchanged. But I can’t risk Emma or anyone else spotting it, because it’s one hundred per cent clear I couldn’t afford to buy it for myself. Not on my salary.
We take the same private hire car from his apartment. I could be any brunette to the driver, who seems to have no vested interest in Ollie or his comings and goings anyway. Emma has summoned us to The Sheraton for dinner and drinks and to discuss the preparations for the coming few months. I’m looking forward to it, but most of all I’m looking forward to being able to be out in the big wide world with my secret boyfriend. The past few months have been fabulous, exciting, illicitly charged and full of steamy sex. For obvious reasons we don’t eat out together. I wasn’t lying when I said it didn’t bother me, but the prospect of a fancy dinner, a few cocktails and the company of several of the most important people in my life is really very appealing.
The temptation to tell Emma is unreal. She caught Ollie looking at me at her product launch and didn’t have a problem with it. Emma knows what it’s like dating a famous rugby player, and most of all she has the most influence on my brother. Her word in his ear might be the one thing to soften the whole situation.
His protection stems from a place I don’t like thinking about, but tonight in the backseat of the taxi while the city blurs by, my thoughts return to my fifteenth birthday. I thought I was so grown-up, but I was still a child in more ways than one. Mam and Dad had invited our next-door neighbours round, the Colleys. They had children similar ages to us but all boys.
Eddie was best friends with the oldest Colley, Zac. They were both twenty-one and heavily into their sport. They lived, breathed, ate and trained together, though Eddie was always the better athlete, even back then. Every minute was spent playing sport, watching sport, or discussing sport. We used to joke that Eddie and Zac were soulmates, they were so close.
Zac’s parents were both civil servants and far more comfortable than our own parents. Mr Colley had a prestigious position in the community and Dad sort of hero-worshipped him. Naturally they were all invited round for tea and cake to join in my celebrations. Geri was in France on a student exchange and I missed her terribly that summer. Keira was sitting her solicitor exams in Edinburgh and Matthew was in the States. Eddie was in a meeting with the rugby union and wasn’t expected home until late.
The tea and cake had turned to wine and crisps in the kitchen and our parents were merry, relaxed with our esteemed neighbours. Zac offered to take me outside for some fresh air. He’d been paying me a lot of compliments that summer and my fifteen-year-old self was ridiculously flattered and completely enamoured with him. My dad warned me not to go outside, said it was getting late. But when he turned his attention back to our neighbours, I foolishly snuck out, hoping Zac might be the man to deliver my first kiss. It didn’t occur to me that he was an adult male who might want more than that.
It was a beautiful summer evening; the sky pink with promise of the good weather to come. Crickets called lazily to each other and the sound of traffic was a distant hum against the backdrop of our parents’ laughter escaping from the kitchen window.
When Zac’s lips met mine I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. Teenage lust ripped through me and naively, I met his kiss willingly.
Unfortunately a kiss wasn’t enough for Zac. Clamping one hand over my mouth, using his sheer size to press my body into the hard, dry ground beneath and forced himself on me. With his other hand he freed himself from his trousers, exposing his hard length. I bit the fingers muzzling me and screamed loud enough to attract the attention of my brother who was getting out of his car at the front of the house.
The battering Eddie gave Zac left him in hospital for three days. Luckily my father pulled him off before he could do more damage. Zac didn’t press charges, ultimately because he would have been counter charged with sexually assaulting a minor. They moved house three months later. Over the years the memory has faded. Not so much that I’m not cautious.
Perhaps the fear caused by that incident was why I couldn’t relax enough to enjoy myself sexually before Ollie. Or maybe there’s just no one as talented as Ollie that way?
Eddie blamed our parents for not keeping a better eye on me. But he blamed himself more for not spotting Zac’s unhealthy interest in me earlier. To this day he still feels responsible for what almost happened. In his mind, his little sister was traumatised and he lost his best friend in the process.
That’s why I know deep down, he’ll find it exceptionally hard to accept Ollie and me as a couple. To him, history is repeating itself. Ollie is his friend, who he trusts, and I’ll always be his little sister. But I’m not fifteen anymore. I’m a grown woman with womanly desires and a loving consensual relationship. I don’t know how to make him see it before he puts Ollie in a similar state to the one he left Zac in.
‘Are you ok?’ Ollie asks, dragging me back to the present.
‘Yes. I was just thinking.’ I should probably tell him, explain why our relationship is going to cause such a problem to Eddie. To hell with my job. Although I love it, things have changed so much since the Six Nations.
I open my mouth to elaborate before realising we’re almost at our destination. It’ll have to wait for another time. ‘I’ll go in first. Give me a five minute head start.’
‘Is this really necessary?’ Ollie’s forehead creases into a frown.
‘Yes. For now at least, until I think of a better plan.’ Grabbing my handbag, I kiss his cheek.
‘Save me a seat next to you.’ He pays the driver and steps out into the balmy evening.
‘I’ll do my best.’
The second I’m away from his side I miss his comforting presence. Miss knowing he’s within touching distance, sniffing distance, kissing distance. I really do have it bad. We must have had sex over a hundred times in the past few months and it’s still nowhere near enough. This is what I’d been missing with the ones before him. This is what Geri told me to hang on for. She was right. I finger the necklace he gave me, ensuring it’s tucked firmly away close to my heart, exactly where it should be.
ChapterTwenty-Four
OLLIE
The Sheraton is one of the finest hotels in Dublin. Even my mother raves about it, and she’s rarely impressed by anything or anyone. Taking in my surroundings, I can clearly see where my parents got their ideas for their own hotel décor. Gilded portraits line the heavily wallpapered walls and bronze extravagant wall lights illuminate the corridors.
The gang congregate downstairs in a private room; Eddie, Emma, Callum, Abby, Matthew and his wife, and two other couples who I presume must be Emma’s sisters and their partners. Amy perches on the edge of her chair at the top end of the table to the right of Eddie. The seat next to her is free so I take it without hesitation.
‘Nice of you to join us,’ Eddie jokes. From the way his eyes are slightly glazed I can tell he’s had a couple of drinks already. None of us drink much during the season, but the summer is mostly our own before the autumn internationals get started.
‘The car had to go in for a service.’ It’s not a total lie, it went to the Tesla headquarters first thing this morning.
‘More like you had to go for a service.’ He leans over the table and swipes the cheek that Amy kissed only five minutes earlier.
‘I’ve heard of lipstick on the collar,’ Emma laughs, ‘but lipstick on the cheek is asking to get caught out.’ Astute eyes travel from the cheek that I wipe, to Amy’s lips, then back again for confirmation. A triumphant light sparks in her eyes and she winks at Amy, who bites her lip and looks anywhere but at me.
