It’s an effort to control myself when she’s so close. The floral scent of her shampoo assaults my senses. The subtle movement of her full lips as she chews mint gum is more erotic than any porn I’ve ever watched. As she stretches out my legs and kneads her fingers across my tight muscles, I go through every point I ever scored, every game I ever played and every tackle that injured me to stop myself getting hard and embarrassing both of us. It’s a relief when she tells me I’m done.
‘If you have any more trouble come back to me before the match.’ I bolt for the shower and switch it to cold, letting the water cascade over my bare skin. It does nothing to cool the burning longing inside of me. The changing rooms are empty, everyone long since departed.
I head to my room and order room service. The last thing I need is for the lads to see me in this state. Pining for someone I can never have. Someone who inexplicably, I want more than I ever wanted Anita, or anyone else since her.
Life can be a total bitch at times. Knowing that Amy is in the same hotel as me all week, sprawled out in a bed identical to mine on the floor above me, is a complete killer, but I’ll have to find a way to get on with it. At least it’s not awkward between us. I’ll be able to tell Nathan with a clean conscience that the events of Saturday night will not be repeated.
I would say that I’ll be able to look Eddie in the eye, but honestly, I’m struggling. Because even though I won’t let it happen again, I can never erase it from my mind. And I don’t want to. It was the most passionate kiss of my life. I don’t let my mind dwell too long on what sex might have been like. I have a sinking suspicion that intrinsic unspoken connection is precisely what was missing from everyone I’ve ever been with before.
* * *
I wake to darkness in my hotel room. The only source of light, the dim glow from the crescent moon filtering through the open blinds. A glance at my watch shows it’s almost four in the morning, way too early for breakfast, yet sleep is impossible now. A ravenous growl rumbles from my stomach. Sitting up, I flick on the bedside lamp and head for the tiny kettle. If I called room service they’d send up a sandwich but that could take half an hour. With a bit of luck I might be tired again before then.
As the kettle hisses, I raid the tiny fridge for milk and snacks, settling on two Snickers bars and a packet of Reese’s and set them down at the coffee table next to the couch. I’m an absolute brute for treats. I could eat chocolate until it comes out my ears, and don’t get me started on ice cream.
Checking my phone, I notice three texts from Eddie and one from Nathan.
Eddie:
Dinner @7?
Dessert at least?
Where are you?
Nathan:
If you don’t stop mooning around and gazing woefully at our new physio, Eddie will suspect. It won’t take a genius to work out what’s going on. Not the way you wear your heart on your sleeve. He rang Amy earlier to see why she didn’t make dinner. I think he was checking you two weren’t together. Seriously, even a blind man could see the attraction between you two. Cool the jets before someone gets drowned.
My mind continues to play devil’s advocate. Would I really be so bad for his sister? I fancy her something absolutely rotten, there’s no denying it. But it goes so much deeper than that. My intentions are honourable. Well, in some respects. Given half the chance, I would worship Amy Harrington, I know this for certain. Despite my behaviour the past couple of months, I’m not one to mess around. But still, Eddie would never approve. It would cause outright war. And he’d view me the same way I view my own brother, even if the circumstances are wildly different.
Nathan’s right, I need to get over what can never be.
Collapsing onto the small leather couch, I find the remote and flick on the television. On the screen a gorgeous looking couple share a candlelit dinner, swooning dreamily at each other over a table in a luxuriously decorated restaurant. Lust, possibly even love, hangs in the air between them. Just what I don’t need rubbed in my face right now.
Romance movies have never been my thing. Give me Bruce Willis andDie Hardany day of the week over this shit. Especially when my own love life is such a sorry state of affairs. I’ve jumped from wanting one girl I couldn’t have, to another girl who’s even more off-limits. Maybe I secretly enjoy torturing myself?
My finger hovers over the button of the remote but before I can push it, the couple vanish and the screen fills with the italic silver logo of Finding Forever. A guy with a sickly smooth voice coos, ‘get in touch to find your perfect match today.’
Pah. I turn it off and sip my tea in silence.
I’ve never minded my own company, in fact, I quite like it. Though it would be nice to find someone to sit quietly with. So many of the women I met after Anita talked incessantly; listening to them was more exhausting than the actual sex itself. Amy isn’t a talker though. My hand automatically runs across my skinhead, as if to remove her presence from my brain. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t get her out of my mind.
In the bathroom, I brush my teeth, shave my head and then shower again. The feeling of clean sheets on clean skin is one of my favourite sensations in the world. It’s the simple things in life. As I’m nodding off, the vibration from a text on my phone jolts me awake again. Who even texts these days? Immediately a sliver of worry snakes its way into my stomach. I glance at the screen assuming it’s Eddie sending out a search party.
Unfortunately it’s worse. It’s a full-blown intervention.
Thank you for your registration with Finding Forever, we have matched your details and arranged a date for Saturday night 7p.m. at The Spicy Affair, Dublin South. Should you wish to cancel this reservation, out of courtesy to your date please provide twenty-four hours’ notice and note there is a cancellation fee.
I’m going to fucking kill Eddie Harrington. That’s one way to keep me away from his little sister.
ChapterThirteen
AMY
‘How did he take it?’ Geri’s familiar voice travels through the receiver to where I lie staring at the ceiling of my lonely hotel room.
It’s killing me knowing he’s in the same building as me, wondering if he’s thinking about me, or if he’s as hot and bothered as me after our close professional encounter earlier.
