A groan slips from her parted lips as the familiar chemistry crackles invisibly between us. Her dark lash-framed eyes meet mine, full of a longing she doesn’t even attempt to hide. She rests her folded arms lightly on my chest as though we’ve known each other forever. I haven’t had the pleasure of being this close to her in weeks, not since I sent Stuart on his way. It was hard enough not to kiss her then, and that was without Emma’s potent cocktails allowing me to forget all the reasons I’m not supposed to.
‘It was you,’ she admits in a breathy whisper. ‘It’s been you since the second I laid eyes on you.’
Blood courses violently through every organ, reinforcing with a clear finality that this is way more than some stupid crush. I’m not in this alone. Though that doesn’t change the facts. I heard Eddie’s earlier comments loud and clear. He knows better than anyone that I don’t deserve his sister. Hell, I might have done if I hadn’t taken his advice and shagged my way round Dublin after Anita’s betrayal. Even if I hadn’t, I’m still not sure he’d ever consider me good enough.
‘Why do we always want what we can’t have?’ My hands instinctively go to her upper arms to take the evening chill from them, rubbing the rippling goosebumps. Instead of chasing away the rising skin, they spread underneath my palms as a powerful current passes between us. Her face tilts upwards angling towards mine; her sweet, sugary cocktail exhale permeates the air between us. Slanting closer I drink it in, inhaling the very breath that just passed her lips. Uncrossing her arms, she wiggles closer until her heavy breasts rest against my chest. If Eddie were to walk out this second he’d likely separate my head from my neck with a single thump. I take a step backward, but don’t remove my arms from her. Amy takes another step forward and presses her body closer against mine again. It’s almost a challenge. In a teasing tone, she whispers the same words that Stuart did only a few weeks earlier. ‘You want it. I know you do.’ A tinkling laugh resounds from her parted lips.
Her forwardness takes me by surprise, a complete contrast to her conservative outfit, yet the smile doesn’t reveal if she serious or joking. Either way, she hit the nail on the head. I want it. I want her. It’s consuming me day and night. She’s like an itch that I can’t scratch. And can’t escape from. Surely she can feel the swell in my trousers. ‘I want it.’ It’s barely more than a whisper but the message is delivered loud and clear.
My face lowers towards hers, I can’t stop. There’s an irresistible force dragging me towards her. It’s so wrong, but it feels so right. Her left hand slides under my jacket, snaking round around my waist and her right hand travels up my spine, gripping my neck and pulling my head towards hers. I don’t resist. Our lips meet in a hot explosion of lust; my tongue slips into her mouth, all rationale evaporating the second I taste her. Her sweet, strong lips beg to be bitten, sucked and worshipped.
My fingers trace her back, her waist, the underside of her breasts, as we tremble together under the blanket of darkness. It’s not cold, it’s hot, burning, yearning lust. What have I done?
It’s an effort to tear myself from her but I have to, before someone catches and ends us before we’ve begun. Because even in this darkness, it’s clear to me, one kiss is never going to be enough.
‘Eddie is going to fucking kill me.’ It’s a statement, not a concern, because tonight I know for sure, I’m fucked either way. Not kissing Amy was equally likely to kill me.
Her hands keep a tight grip on my waist as she bites her lower lip in contemplation. ‘I was thinking the same, but perhaps what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him?’
Our lips meet again with the same lust-fuelled force, and I realise, one way or another, I’m in big trouble.
ChapterEleven
AMY
Geri’s husband Alex stands in the hallway, hair tousled, mouth open and a twin on each hip.
‘Amy, I wasn’t expecting you.’ His eyes glance curiously over my flannel pyjamas, barely disguised underneath my rain jacket. If he thinks it’s odd I’m on his doorstep at eight o’clock on a Sunday morning, he doesn’t mention it.
I take a child from him, lightening his load, and follow him through to the kitchen. ‘I need to speak to Geri.’
‘Mammy’s in bed,’ a twin tells me.
‘On Sunday we let Mammy have a lie in,’ Alex reiterates. ‘Can I make you tea? Coffee?’
‘Got any ice cream?’ Crossing the kitchen, I open the freezer to help myself, before realising I might not be setting the best example, then close it again. ‘Sorry.’ I shrug. ‘It’s an emergency. Ice cream usually helps.’
Alex puts the TV on for the kids. I watch as he settles them on the couch in the next room and returns to fill the kettle.
‘Can I help?’ he offers dubiously, scratching his copper stubble.
Taking off my jacket, I fling it over the back of one of the dining room chairs and take a deep breath. ‘Have you ever done something that you know is so completely and utterly wrong, but you just couldn’t resist? Like the temptation might kill you, if your own family don’t?’ I blow out a deep breath, nausea threatening to overwhelm me again. I’m not sure if it’s the drink, the memory of my brazenness last night, or both. Thank god Nathan interrupted us when he did, because I could quite easily have let Ollie take me right then and there. Never have I been more aware of myself sexually, more aware of my needs, and of what I’ve been missing out on all these years.
Alex’s eyebrows raise towards the ceiling. ‘I erm… I mean, I…’ His features rearrange into a befuddled frown as he reaches for two mugs. The irony isn’t wasted on me when he hands me the one which says:Angel by day, slut by night.
I continue talking at him, needing to get it off my chest to someone that won’t murder me for being so stupid. ‘I can’t work out, do I really wantit? Or is it because I can’t haveit? Because I know I shouldn’t? Is it the two fingers to Eddie and his bossy ways? Is this some silent act of rebellion because he’s been trying to control every aspect of my life since I was fifteen? Or am I that determined to sabotage the job I worked so hard for because somewhere deep down I feel like I don’t deserve it? Or is wanting to rip Ollie’s clothes off and ride him like a wild horse just the realest, rawest thing I’ve ever felt, in my admittedly short life?’ I blow a spiral curl up out of my face in an exasperated sigh.
Alex passes me his mug of tea. ‘Give this to Geri and get in bed next to her. Clearly, I’m not the man for this job. I know nothing about silent rebellions or riding anyone like a wild horse.’ He shrugs awkwardly and nudges me back into the hallway where I climb the stairs two at a time with a mug in each hand.
‘This better be good, Harrington!’ Geri’s muffled voice calls from the master bedroom.
‘I don’t think I need the dating site, if that tells you anything at all.’ Pushing the door open with my elbow, Geri leaps up in the bed, her short cropped blonde hair spiking up in all directions, an ivory satin nighty clinging to her tanned frame. No wonder she’s still happily married after six years if that’s what she sleeps in.
‘Oh my god, who did you shag? Who is the lucky number six? I hope he’s marriage material or you’ll have to find another lucky number.’ Her hands reach towards mine, taking the tea. She shuffles over in the bed to make room for me and I climb under the peach coloured covers gratefully.
‘I didn’t shag him, but I did snog the face off Ollie Quinn.’ A blush crawls up my cheeks even thinking about it.
‘No fucking way. You absolute rebel! Eddie will kill you if he finds out! Actually, he’ll kill him. Actually, I think he might kill both of you. You’re normally such a goody two shoes, I didn’t honestly think you had it in you.’
