As Ben quickly walked toward the bathroom to wash his hands, he said, “Water please.I have had way too much caffeine today.”
Over the next half hour, Ella and Ben enjoyed their dinner and bantered back and forth in a comfortable, peaceful way they had not since their early days in Malibu.All through dinner, Ella tried to find the right time to bring up the idea of their future plans and the possibility of going to a marriage counselor.Things were going so great, she hated to ruin the moment.Instead, she let the conversation run its natural course.After dinner, they quickly cleaned up, and Ella was not surprised when Ben picked her up and carried her to the bedroom the second the kitchen was cleaned.
Ben ignored Ella’s demands to put her down because she was too heavy to be carried.Instead, he laughed as he tickled her saying, “If you insist on wearing tiny little panties and a thin T-shirt that I can see through during dinner, you will have to suffer the consequences.”Luckily, it was only a few steps from the kitchen to the bedroom.Once there, Ben dropped Ella softly on the bed and proceeded to dole out her punishment in the most delicious way.
Later, as they lay in bed snuggling each other, Ella no longer had to worry about how to bring up their future plans.Ben did it for her.
“Hey, there is something I want to talk to you about.I know I have said that we should wait until after John is born to talk about the future, but I have been doing some research and wanted to tell you about it.”
Sitting up, Ella pulled the sheet up to cover herself and replied, “That is great.There is something I would actually like to talk to you about too.I mean, about our future and all.”
Nodding, Ben said, “Okay, let me go first, then you can go.”
Ella nodded.
“I think I have come up with a great solution to our problem about what to do about your grad school issue.I did some research.UALR has an environmental grad program that is all on-line.You can enroll and still be able to take care of John, and I can start Bowen.”
Giving Ben a blank look, Ella was quiet for a moment, then said, “Let me get this right.You want me to give up my free ride to Michigan, one of the premier environmental grad programs in the country, to pay to go to ULAR online while I stay home with John, andyoustart law school as planned?”
Smiling and nodding like he had just found the key to world peace, Ben replied, “Yes, isn’t that great?That way we both get what we want.”
For a second Ella did not respond.She continued to look at Ben incredulously.
Grinning, Ben urged, “Say something.What do you think?”
After a moment, Ella said, “What do I think?I think that stinks.No, Idon’tthink that is a way forbothof us to get what we want.It is a way foryouto get whatyouwant.Why should I have to give up a plum placement at a top tier grad school that I worked my butt off for to go to UALR.No offense to UALR.I am sure it is a perfectly good school.Also, I don’t have any money for grad school.I have to go where I get a free ride.And I know how hard it is to stay engaged with all online classes.If I am taking care of John all day by myself, I don’t see how I will be able to do it.”
Letting out a huge sigh, Ben rolled his eyes.“Why are you being this way?You know that money is not an issue.I have plenty.I will pay for your tuition.And if we need to hire daytime help, we will.No problem.Don’t you see?This solves all of our issues!Why can’t you just be happy about this?You get to go to grad school, and everything works out the way we need it to.”
Throwing back the covers and jumping out of bed, Ella grabbed her T-shirt from where it lay discarded on the floor and violently tried to pull it over her head.When it did not go on smoothly, she growled and threw it across the room.She ripped open dresser drawers until she found one of Ben’s T-shirts, then pulled it over her head.Then turning toward Ben, she all but shouted, “No, Ben.Everything isnotworking out how we need it to.That little plan of yours lets everything work out like you want it to.But what about what I want?Did you ever stop to think about that?I want to go to Michigan.I have spent the last three years dreaming about it and working my butt off to earn that free ride that you are so keen to see me just piss away.”
Ben threw up his hands in the air, exasperated.“Why are you being so overly dramatic?I have heard you say many times it is not where you go to school but how you apply yourself.We both know that wherever you go, you are going to be the top student.You are going to graduate knowing more than everyone else.What difference does it make if you go to Michigan or UALR?”
“If that is true, why don’tyougo to law school in Michigan?Why do I have to be the one to give up my dreams and completely change my life?”
At that, Ben jumped out of bed, grabbed his boxers where they had fallen on the floor, and began hastily pulling them on.“For one, I have to go to law school in the state where I am going to practice.Second, you told me that you chose Michigan because it would prepare you to work in Napa.You are never going back there, so what difference does it make where you go?”
Ella froze at Ben’s words.In a very small voice, she asked, “What do you mean, we are never going back to Napa?”
Giving Ella a look that said he thought she was being stupid, Ben said, “Well, duh.Our lives are here in Arkansas.This is where I am going to practice law.This is where we are going to raise our family.This is where we are going to live.”
In a small quiet voice, Ella asked, “When exactly did we decide that?”
Not realizing how close Ella was to losing it, Ben snapped, “When we moved here.What did you think was happening?”
Giving Ben a penetrating look, Ella said, “I thought we were coming for you to finish your grad project and to help your dad.If you will remember, when we decided to marry, I thought you were doing your grad project in California.Then, just like tonight, you waltzed in one day and told me that had all changed.You said you needed to move here for your dad and his campaign.You never said it was forever.I thought we would go back to California eventually.I never signed up to live in Arkansas for the rest of my life.I am sure I would have remembered it if I had.”
Growling, Ben yelled in frustration, “Hell, Ella, you knew darned well that was the plan.”
Pointing a finger in his face, Ella snapped back, “Stop cursing at me.I did not know that.Obviously, you did.That would have been really good information for me to have had at the time.Maybe if I had, I would not have come so easily.”
“What does that mean?Are you saying you regret marrying me and moving here?Would you have rather I left you in California, unmarried and alone with your very Catholic family judging you?”
At Ben’s words, Ella’s head literally snapped back.“Are you saying that you only asked me to marry you because of the baby?You promised me you would never say that.If I had not promised never to slap you again, I would do it now.Really hard.”
Without giving Ben a chance to respond, Ella spun on her heels.Turning and grabbing her cellphone and water off the nightstand, she started marching toward the guest room.
Ben reached out and grabbed Ella’s arm before she could get by him.“Ella, slow down.You know that is not why I married you.I love you.Yes, the baby may have sped up the process, but I married you because I love you.I am sorry if my plan seems self-serving.I really am trying here.Please calm down.”
