“Long enough to know that your mother is on a mission to break us up.When were you going to tell me you had worked out a plan to leave and take John to Michigan?I thought we agreed to table this discussion until after he was born.”
“We have.We are.My mom is just being my mom.”
Shaking his head, Ben said, “It sounded like the two of you have discussed this and have already come up with a backup plan that has nothing to do with me.That is just great.Maybe the next time you decide you are going to leave me, you start with me in that conversation instead of your mother.”With that, Ben stormed out of the bedroom and out the front door.
Ella ran after Ben, calling his name, but he never looked back or even slowed down.Instead, he jumped in his car and drove away, tires squealing.
Ella immediately called Ben’s cell, but he did not answer.Crying, Ella collapsed on a couch.She knew she had really messed up with Ben and had no idea how to fix it.
Chapter 25
Later That Night
Ella called, texted, and left several messages for Ben, but he never picked up or responded.After crying herself into a long nap, Ella got up around 8:00 pm and ate a light dinner.She wasn’t really hungry, but experience had taught her that skipping meals did not go well with pregnancy, so she forced herself to eat a few bites.Then she filled the house’s large clawfoot tub, piled her long black hair on her head, and climbed in, hoping the warm water would help relax her muscles, which were tense from the day full of worry.
Ella’s eyes were closed when she heard the bathroom door open.Sitting up, she saw Ben casually walk in looking as haggard and as miserable as she felt.The two of them looked at each other for several minutes without saying anything.
When Ben spoke, he said, “I am so sorry.I never should have left.”
“Where did you go?”asked Ella, holding back tears.
“At first, I just drove around.Then I went to Searcy and spent some time talking to my folks.”
Dropping her head, Ella could easily imagine what he had told them.“I guess I am not their favorite person at the moment.”
Shaking his head and sounding defeated, Ben said, “Actually, they called me an idiot for not staying and talking things out with you.They also pointed out that we both came into this marriage with very different plans and dreams for the future and that figuring out how to merge those was never going to be easy.”
“Sounds pretty wise to me.Any chance they told you how we could do that?”
Shaking his head, Ben said, “No, but running away at the first sign of trouble isn’t it, so here I am.”Dropping down on his knees next to her, Ben said, “Ella, I am so sorry.I was just so hurt by what I heard.I can’t lose you and the baby.There has to be a way to make this work without one of us giving up everything for the other.”
“I hope you are right.But at the moment, I can’t see what that is.”
Ben looked at Ella and felt his love for her to his core.“God, you are stunning.You look like a water goddess lying there.I can hardly think, being this close to you all naked and glistening.”
Slightly embarrassed, Ella laughed and said, “A water buffalo goddess maybe.I have never been so fat in my whole life.I feel massive.These boobs and stomach are a lot to deal with.”
Without thinking, Ella lifted up above the water, and Ben’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared.Desire ran through him.He was going to die if he did not touch her.Taking a deep breath, Ben pulled his shirt over his head and quickly undid his pants, before shoving them down his legs.
Giving Ben a surprised look, Ella said, “Wow, I am not sure this tub will hold both of us.”
Ben did not respond.Instead, he simply let some of the water out, then guided Ella forward before dropping down behind her.Enough water had emptied that when he settled, none splashed over the side.Wrapping Ella in his arms, Ben allowed himself to experience all that was the essence of her.In the quiet of that moment, he realized that he was willing to do whatever it took to make Ella happy and keep her.They had not talked, and nothing had been resolved, but he knew in his heart that losing Ella and John was not an option.He understood that the life he had envisioned for himself needed to change.His future was intricately tied to hers.Figuring out the issues was going to be hard, but whatever it took, he was going to do it.If only he knew what that meant.
As Ben held Ella, he said nothing.He just held her and gently ran his fingers over her skin.Whenever she would start to speak, he would put his finger over his lips and say, “Shush.Let’s just enjoy this moment together.We can figure out what to do next tomorrow.Or the next day.Or the next.This problem isn’t going anywhere.Right now, I just want to hold you.”
Seeming to need his touch as much as he needed to touch her, Ella nodded.After a few minutes, she couldn’t stand it any longer and turned her head.Letting her lips lightly graze his, she slowly deepened the kiss as it became more urgent.Ben stood and gathered Ella in his arms.Without bothering to dry them off, he carried her into the bedroom, where they spent the rest of the night reminding each other what brought them together in the first place.
Neither knew how long this moment of peace would last, but neither had the strength to walk away from the fire that burned between them.Someday soon, they had to find a way to merge both of their dreams.But not tonight.Tonight was for them.The hurt, worry, and unfulfilled dreams of very different futures would be waiting for them in the morning.
Chapter 26
Des Arc, Arkansas
The next morning, Ben left Ella sleeping.He needed to be in a meeting in Little Rock by 7:00.He vowed to call later in the day.
Ella suspected that Ben wanted to wait until after the baby was born to make plans because he thought if they put it off long enough, she would just give up on her dreams.He was counting on her loving being a mom so much that nothing else would matter.But Ben had overlooked one key fact: Ella had already been a surrogate parent to her six siblings.She knew how wonderful children were and how much work raising them took.There was no mystery there for her.
Ella had no doubt that she would love everything about baby John.He would be perfect, and she would love him in every way.She already did.But that did not mean she was going to give up on everything she had been working for her whole life to stay home and change diapers.No one was asking or even expecting Ben to totally abandon or even amend his life dreams because a baby was coming.No, he was rocking along on his life plan just fine.
