“I think I need to be around here. I have called and gotten her a doctor’s appointment. I think she is depressed and may need some meds to help with that. I plan to hang around all weekend and see her get back on track.”
Poppy did not like it but knew when to walk away from a fight she could not win. Bennett’s mind was made up, and he was staying with Taylor no matter what she said. So, instead, she went in another direction. “Okay, so when can you come?”
Bennett thought for a minute and said, “Honestly, the next few weeks, I will be slammed. I have my final prep for the bar exam. I need to stay home and study. I am really behind with all that has happened in the last few weeks. Maybe I can come like the last week of October, after I take the exam.”
Poppy was silent for a moment and then said, “Another month. You want to go another month before you see me?” Once again, Poppy’s voice rose, and she practically yelled.
“Stop screaming at me. Of course, I don’t want to go another month without seeing you, but I don’t see how it can be helped.”
“What if I fly down and see you?” Poppy hated how needy she sounded. But that was where she was. She had been so lonely the last few weeks, and she missed Bennett. A lot. She missed waking up next to him. She missed little kisses throughout the day. She missed how he smelled when he got out of the shower. She was learning that loneliness was most deeply felt in the little, everyday things you took for granted when you were in the thick of them. But, oh my, how you yearned for them when they were gone.
Bennett hemmed, hawed, and then said, “I don’t think that is such a great idea. I really need to focus on studying. And, besides, with your grandmother gone, how would I explain your presence to Dad?”
“How are you explaining this apartment to dear old Daddy?” Poppy had progressed from needy to smartass. This time, she did not care.
“Look, I know you are mad. There is nothing I can do about that right now. I need to get back to Taylor. It is almost time to leave for the doctor’s office. I will book tickets for the end of October. I love you. I will try to call you tomorrow night. Maybe then you will be in a better frame of mind to talk.”
“Bennett Carrington, don’t you dare try to turn this around on me and act like I am just some spoiled brat not getting their way.” Once again, Poppy was basically yelling.
“Then stop acting like one. Not everything is about you,” snapped Bennett. “Look. I don’t want to argue with you. I just called to let you know what was going on. I will call you tomorrow. I love you.” Bennett waited for Poppy to say she loved him, too. They never hung up without saying those words to each other. This time, Poppy did not respond. So Bennett said again, “I love you.”
Again, he waited. And still nothing. Then he pleaded, taking the anger and frustration out of his voice, “Poppy baby, please don’t be like this. I love you. I promise. I will book the tickets for October. I will come there, and we will celebrate the bar being over New York style. What do you say? We good?”
“No,” replied Poppy flatly.
“No, we are not good?” Bennett asked, surprised. He expected her to give in and agree with him. It was what she had always done. Maybe it was that she was finally growing up and learning to live in a big city alone or that he had avoided addressing her daddy's questions about the apartment. But Poppy was tired of Bennett hiding their relationship. He acted like if anyone knew they were together, the world would end.
“No, don’t book the tickets. If you can go another month without seeing me, you can go a little longer. I think maybe we need a break. Maybe this long-distance thing is just not going to work for us.”
Now, it was Bennett’s turn to raise his voice. “Damn it, Poppy. You are overreacting. Just calm down. God, you make me crazy. I love you, and you love me. This is not something to break up over.”
“I make you crazy? Try being someone’s dirty little secret. The way you act every time you think someone is going to find out about us is ridiculous. It’s a miracle I am not the one needing antidepressants.”
“Come on, Poppy, stop overreacting. It is not like that. How many times do I have to tell you? This is just temporary. I want to tell the whole world we are together, but now is not the time. Just be patient. You know…” whatever Bennett was going to say was cut off by Taylor telling him it was time to go to the doctor. “Look, I have to go. I will call you tonight. I love you.”
Poppy said in a very sad, small voice, “I love you, Bennett. Goodbye.” She hung up and cried herself to sleep.
The following week, Poppy decided to give herself a break from Bennett. She declined all of his calls and did not respond to any of the voicemail messages he left. He sent her several flower arrangements, which Poppy dropped off at the senior citizen’s hall on her way to class.
She left Searcy convinced she could not survive without Bennett. He seemed to be doing just fine without her. She had to try and see if she could forge ahead without him. She would have liked to have said she was doing just fine without talking to Bennett, but that would have been a lie. She was dying inside, but she was determined to cut ties and move forward without him until he was ready to claim her publicly. All the sneaking around and hiding was over. Having made that decision, Poppy realized she could not stay in theapartment Bennett had rented. She had to find a new place to live if she meant to move on.
Luckily, Poppy quickly found a room to rent with another art student. She moved in the following week. Bennett continued to call several times a day and leave messages. Poppy forced herself to stop listening to them. She had to be strong. She yearned to talk to him so badly that she had to get a new phone to keep from becoming weak and answering. She mailed the cell phone Bennett had given her for graduation back. If Bennett came to New York at the end of October, Poppy never knew it.
Bennett was the center of Poppy’s world for months, and now he was just gone. Most days, Poppy felt like someone had shoved a hand down her throat and ripped her heart out. She felt hollow and empty. Her art kept her going.
Once she moved out of Bennett’s apartment, she stopped accessing the account he set up for her as well. The money she got from her hardship scholarship thankfully covered her expenses.
The week before Thanksgiving, Poppy came down with a raging stomach bug. She was violently ill for several days. She missed three days of classes and knew that with final pieces due the first week of December, she could not afford to miss anymore. She dragged herself out of bed and into her abstract art class. She had only been in the class for a few minutes when she collapsed.
Several hours later, Poppy came to hooked up to IVs and monitors beeping in the emergency room. Not sure where she was, she looked around the room and saw her teacher, Mr. Thompson, sitting in the chair beside her bed. She was thankful to not be alone.
“Welcome back, Ms. Hunter. You sure gave me the scare of my life. I know my lessons are stimulating, but I have never caused a student to collapse from one,” he said.
“Mr. Thompson? What are you doing here? Where am I? What happened?” asked Poppy, breathless and confused.
Mr. Thompson got up and walked around to the side of the bed. Taking her hand, he said, “You upstaged me in class today. You fainted dead away during my explanation of Max Ernst’s sgraffito painting technique. We tried everything to get you to come too, but when you did not, we called an ambulance. I must say, young lady, it was quite the afternoon.”
Closing her eyes, Poppy said, “I am so sorry, Mr. Thompson. I hate that I disrupted your class. I have been sick for several days and did not want to miss any more classes. I pushed myself to go to class today. I should have stayed home.”
