Instead, she said, "Hey, maybe we should postpone talking to another time. I only called because Joules said you wanted to talk, but we can talk later." The last thing she wanted was a full-blown emotional conversation in which she came off as crazy.
"No, I am glad you called. We have much to discuss, but I want to do it in person. Which reminds me, Joules is flying down first thing in the morning to bring you back for the gala. I assume you already have a gown. It is imperative we look like the perfect couple. I know that is a lot to ask, but I am asking. Let's get through tomorrow night, and you and I can hash this whole thing out. Can you do that?"
"Sounds like you have it all figured out." She was working to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
"I have. I would come to get you myself so we could talk on the plane. But I can't get away right now. There is too much going on now with the campaign and other things."
Taylor noticed that he faltered when he said, "Other things." She assumed he meant Poppy and their son, but she had no intention of asking.
Instead, she said, "What about after the gala? Do you have that all planned out, too? Are we just going to continue to be the perfect couple until the election? And what does little Miss Poppy have to say about all that?"
"First of all, leave Poppy out of this. It has nothing to do with her." Bennett had an edge to his voice that Taylor had never heard.
"I'd say it has everything to do with her," snapped Taylor, not even trying to mask the bitterness.
"Taylor, I love you, but I am warning you. Don't even think about saying anything about her. I mean it. It would be best to keep allthis under wraps until after the election and confirmation hearing in January, but I am not sure that is feasible.”
"And then what? We divorce, and I go off and pretend none of this ever happened. I disappear into a black hole?" Anger punctuated her words.
On the beach, she had been so much more objective and reasonable. On the phone, she lost all objectivity. All the hurt, sadness, and embarrassment of being cheated on came roaring back to life. The calm, reasonable woman on the beach was nowhere to be seen. Back in her place was the scorned woman out for her pound of flesh.
"It won't be like that. You know that. I will always take care of you. You will never want for anything."
"I don't want you to take care of me. Do you seriously think that is why I am upset? I'll let you know that I can take care of myself. That is something I should have been doing all along." Taylor could hear the hysteria in her voice rising. The need to tell him to go screw himself was growing by the minute. Until that moment, she had never even so much as thought that phrase, much less had to muzzle herself from uttering it.
"Okay, fine, whatever. But I think the real reason you are upset is that your pride has been hurt. I get it. What I did was unforgivable. If I could go back and change how this all came about, I would, but I can't. There are more people involved now than just you and me."
"You think this is about my pride being hurt?" Forgetting that some of what he was saying was true, she said, "You are so wrong!"
"No, I don't think so. That is exactly what this is about. If you would stop being emotional for five minutes, you would see that. Things have changed. I have a responsibility to them. They need me."
"You have responsibilities to them? They need you? What about me? What about my needs?" Taylor was practically yelling. She couldn't remember ever yelling at Bennett the entire time they had been married. Now she was screaming so loudly that he had to pull the phone away from his ear. She was so angry and had no way to stem the tide of emotions threatening to overtake her at any moment.
Sighing deeply, Bennett said defeatedly, "Taylor, you never truly loved me like a woman should love and want a man. It was nice and comfortable, and we were great on paper. But really, we never fit. You never needed me in that way. Be honest, what have you ever needed me for besides being there for you when you lost your family? Nothing, that's what."
"That's not true," Taylor cried. "I did need you. I needed you when I lost the babies. I need you more than you will ever know."
Bennettt was quiet for several seconds and then very quietly said, "You had a funny way of showing it."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Taylor demanded.
"It means you were always better off alone. I felt like an intruder in my own marriage. Things just seemed to run better when I was gone. When I was there, it was as if I was just another burden you had to endure. Another person you had to entertain." Bennett sounded so defeated and sad.
Never mind that Taylor had already reached the same conclusion earlier; now, she denied it. "That's ridiculous." At this point, Taylor was too angry to be honest with herself. Her anger felt good, and she allowed her emotional state to fuel her comments. "I assume she needs you."
"If you are talking about Poppy, then yes. She does." Bennett said. By this point, Taylor had built up a head full of steam, and she yelled, "Okay, Mr. Know It All, tell me this. If you couldn't tell whether or not I needed you, how can you be so sure that Poppydoes?" Taylor thought she had lobbed the winning shot in this hateful game of destroying each other, but she was caught unaware.
Bennett was quiet for several seconds, then said, "Because I see it in her eyes when she looks at me."
Whatever Taylor had been expecting Bennett to say, it wasn't that. His words so took her back, she asked in a small voice, "How does she look at you?"
Without missing a beat, he replied, "Like I am the moon, the sun, and the stars all mixed together."
Taylor could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. Refusing to back down, she said, "Oh, so since I didn't worship you like a god, that means I did not need you? What a bunch of crap. It was all I could do to listen to this." At that moment, she hoped her words hurt him as much as his words cut her.
Sighing deeply, Bennett tried to take the level of intensity of the conversation down. Calmly, he said, "No, it is more than that. In her eyes, I see how much she loves me, desires me, and needs me. You never looked at me that way. Not once. I don't think you ever felt about me the way she does. If you did, you never acted like it. Your interest in sex is almost non-existent. Look, I am not saying all this to hurt you. You are one of my oldest and dearest friends. I want to tell you everything, but not over the phone. The story is too big and too personal. When we talk, I think you will understand why all this happened. I love you, Taylor. I always will. I am just not in love with you any more than you are in love with me. It is time to move on."
"You love me? Oldest and dearest friend?" Taylor screeched. Giving over to her rage, she yelled, "Well, with friends like you, I won't need any enemies." She knew it was a cheap shot but was too far into the sea of anger to care. "As far as hurting me, it is too late for that. I am hurt, and you will have to forgive me if I refuse to spend one more minute talking about how much your mistressneeds you. Maybe you just never desired me the way you do her. Have you ever thought about that? You married me when you were so obviously in love with her. Why the hell did you not fight harder for her? Why did you settle for me when you only wanted her? This is on you, Bennett! And one more thing, I don't want your love because I sure as hell don't love you at this moment." With that, Taylor slammed the phone down.
