"How long is a long time? What are we talking? A month, two, six?"
"Since the last miscarriage." Taylor was speaking so quietly that Joules could barely hear her.
"That was eighteen months ago. Are you telling me you two haven't been together since then?" Joules's voice was rising and was full of shock.
"No, but—"
Whatever Taylor was going to say was cut off by Joules saying, "Well, listen up, sister, that's your problem right there. If you're not sleeping with your husband, someone else is." Joules wanted to draw the words back in as soon as they were out of her mouth.
"Um, obviously. That is what started all this mess!" Taylor snapped at her friend. She knew Joules wasn't trying to be mean,yet her words hurt. For a woman known for her political savvy, she was doing a spectacularly lousy job choosing her words.
"Look, I am sorry I said that. It was insensitive. I don't know what you want me to say."
"I don't want you to say anything. I am just trying to figure out if sex is really that important, and I guess it is. It just never has been to me. I suppose I am just not a very sexual person. But I am beginning to think that the bad sex is what destroyed my marriage."
"First of all, sex did not destroy your marriage. Not talking to each other did that. And from where I am standing, you both are partly to blame. As for the other, Taylor, you are a beautiful, sexy woman who is just as sexual as the next. You have just never found the person that tripped your trigger. When you do, sex will make sense. I promise."
“Maybe I am just fated to be alone? I don't know if I even believe in fate. Do you?" asked Taylor.
"I believe we make our own fate. If you want to find the person who trips your trigger, you will have to look for him. Things don't just happen. If you put yourself out there, there is a good chance you will find someone,” replied Joules.
Listening and nodding, Taylor said, "Maybe. We'll see." Then she got very quiet once more and asked, "Do you think Poppy is that person for Bennett?"
Joules didn't answer right away, and when she did, she said with a sigh, "Yes. I do."
"And Harrison, he is that person for you?”
"Sometimes." Joules's one-word answer left a dead spot in the conversation. Taylor waited for her to elaborate, but she didn't.
Taylor could tell that Joules was uncomfortable talking about this, but she couldn't let the conversation drop before she hadsome answers. For the first time, she felt she was finally asking the right questions. She just had to keep searching.
After a moment, Taylor asked, "Have there been others who did that for you? Tripped your trigger, so to speak?"
Joules was quiet for a minute more, and then, in a very small voice, she said, "Yes, a long time ago. There was someone I loved very much, and just being in the same room with him made my heart race. He touched every part of me with just one look."
"Who? When? You never told me about him." Taylor was stunned. She had no idea who Joules was talking about.
"It was when you were in Scotland, student teaching."
"Well, where is he now? Why aren't you with him instead of Harrison?"
Sighing heavily, Joules said, "For lots of reasons. None of which I am willing to get into at the moment. That is a conversation for another time. What Dennis and I have works for us. It's not for everybody, but he gives me what I need for now. And he is a very good man. You would know that if you ever tried to get to know him.
"There is a lot about his marriage that you know nothing about. He and his wife have an open marriage. I have told you this many times. His wife was the one who pushed for an open relationship. He was against it at first. It was only after she had been with several other men that he even considered going outside the marriage."
"Well, given that he was your professor when you two first started seeing each other, combined with the fact that he was and is still married, means that I have no intention of ever getting to know him better. Not ever." Taylor knew she sounded judgmental, but at the end of the day, adultery was wrong. Joules had tried to justify her relationship with Harrison for years, but to Taylor, it was wrong. Period.
Sighing loudly, Joules decided to cut her losses and end this conversation before either one said something they would regret. Taylor had been through a lot the last few days. It was best to end the conversation on somewhat of a good note. Fake yawning loudly, Joules said, "Listen, sweetie, I am sorry. I don't know if I have helped you find any answers, but I am exhausted. This has been a killer week. I have got to get off and snag some z's. Do you mind if we talk more about this another time?"
Taylor was not fooled by her friend's fake yawn. She knew Joules never went to bed before midnight. The woman was half vampire. But Taylor could feel the friction that always popped up when Harrison's name came up.
Not wanting her friend to be upset with her, Taylor said, "Sure. Thanks for talking to me. Get some sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning. And, Joules, I love you."
Joules said, "I love you too. Now, get some rest and stop overthinking every little aspect of your life. Things will work out. They always do. I will talk to you tomorrow." With that, Joules rang off.
Once she hung up, Taylor realized she had even more questions. Who was the mystery man that broke her friend's heart in graduate school? Is that what drove Joules into the arms of a married man? If so, could she be more forgiving of that? Taylor didn't know.
After she and Joules hung up, Taylor crawled into bed and lay for hours thinking about everything Joules had said and trying to figure out who the mystery man in Joules's life had been.
