“Starting with how you can dish it but can’t take it,” I say. “Classic bully behavior.”
“Okay, this meeting’s getting out of hand,” Cole says. “Logan, seriously. Is there anything we can do to help?”
“I’ll stop taking tours.” I drop my head onto my hands. “If I’m screwing up the visitor experience that much, by all means, I’ll stop. Are we done here?”
“Logan,” Emily sighs. “Fine. Let’s get into this. As annoying as you can be, you’re still our brother, and we care aboutyou. For the past few weeks, you were the happiest and most balanced I’ve ever seen you. God, you were practically floating at Dad’s birthday party. Then suddenly you’re calling us to send our lawyer to jail to bail you out, and she’s gone. What did she do?”
“Sierra didn’t do anything,” I snap.
“Then what the fuck didyoudo?”
“Emily,” Seth says, horrified.
“Don’t look at me like that. If there’s any perk to being the only girl in this litter, it’s that I can ask the ‘girly’ questions.”
“It’s not that,” Cole says. “Your bedside manner needs work.”
“No, she’s right. I’m the one who fucked it up.” I rub my eyes. And I realize it’s not just with Sierra that I’ve fucked up. Here is my family, supporting me once again, loving me through all my whims, moods, and bad decisions. And how have I been treating them?
I sigh and force myself to face the people I love. “I think I might be kind of a dick. I don’t compromise. Not with Sierra, and not with…you all.”
They all stare at me, startled by sudden self-awareness.
“Go on,” Cole says, a slight smile on his face.
I nod, then continue. “With the events, with the adjustments we made for Sierra. You’ve all taken on more work, and I didn’t think about how my choices affected you. I didn’t even ask.” I swallow. “I’m sorry.”
Another epiphany hits me. “It’s not just those recent things either, is it? I didn’t think about everything you gave up to help me…no. I didn’tcareabout your careers and plans. All I cared about was pursuing my vision for our company and for Sagebrush.” I swallow against the painful lump in my throat. “I pushed and manipulated you all to come work with me.”
For a moment, no one says anything.
Then, to my surprise, Emily laughs. “I’ll agree with you about the first point,” says Emily. “But you really think I’m here becauseyoudecided that? Logan, I love you, but you have the worst main-character syndrome of anyone I’ve ever met.”
“But…” I look at Seth. He looks away.
“God,” Emily says sarcastically. “Imagine, having a well-paying, fulfilling job straight out of college, without applications or interviews, while so many of my friends are unemployed or stuck in gig work. What a hardship! You manipulative bastard.”
Ethan snorts. “I’m with Emily. Sure, there are things I miss about being a cop. But I don’t regret leaving—it was time, for multiple reasons. And I enjoy working with all of you.”
“I miss teaching sometimes too,” says Cole. “But I agree. What we’ve built as a family is special. The money doesn’t hurt either.”
“And it’s not like you drafted us into your army,” Ethan adds. “No one’s getting shot for desertion. We know we can leave if we want. It’s not like we can’t change careers again, or find other ways to pursue what we want, like Cole’s basketball camp idea. Logan, look at me.” He waits until I meet his gaze. “We want to be here with you.”
I swipe my arm over my moist eyes. I suddenly feel too full to speak.
“Is that what you think happened with Sierra?” Seth asks. It surprises me—he’s been quiet until now. “That you manipulated her?”
I nod. I tell them about Operation Triple-S, how I thought it was working until it wasn’t. “I knew, subconsciously, therewere things about how she left that she wasn’t telling me. But I was happy, and things were going the wayIwanted them to. I should’ve done more to get her to open up.”
“I don’t think you give Sierra enough credit,” says Emily. “Do you think she would have told you if you badgered her about it?”
“I know Sierra too,” Seth says. “She does what she wants. Always has, Logan. You could definitely be a more sensitive, compromising person, but she makes her own choices.” He smiles. “Often bad, but still. They’re her own.”
“I agree overall with the conclusion you’ve drawn, though,” says Cole. “Stop steamrolling us. We work better as a team. Capiche?”
“You’re right.” I do have my family. For the first time in days, I feel the knot in my chest ease slightly. “Actually…” I say slowly. “It’s been driving me crazy, but maybe you all see something I don’t. The night I got arrested, Marshal Dawson had a recording on his phone. A statement Sierra made about what happened with John Hillerman.” I run my hands through my hair. “Something feels off about it—and not only that he had it queued up and ready to play.”
“When did she make a statement?” Ethan asks.
