“We’re not…” I look around the table for support and find none. My mom is giving methe look, and I know it’s pointless to deny it. “We’re keeping it casual,” I mumble. “It’s nothing…official.”
“You’re kidding,” says Ethan. “After the girl made you crazy, thinking she was dead?”
I sigh. Great. “It’s none of your business,” I say again.
“Isn’t it?” Ethan says. “That’s interesting, because you relied on our support the last time she disappeared.”
“Don’t give me that, Ethan,” I snap. “I was a kid. You holding myteenagebreakdown over me is shitty.” I put my fork down and rub the back of my neck. “I didn’t mean that. You know how much I appreciated your support before.”
“Not to pick sides, because I think what she did years ago, leaving without a trace, was fucked up, but Sierra does seem different,” Emily says. “I couldn’t believe how hard she worked during the Candlelight Tour. Seven-years-ago Sierra would not have taken it seriously. And she thanked me profusely for a dress and shoes Logan claimed I let her borrow. She’s matured.”
“Thanks for not giving that away,” I say. “She had nothing to wear to the event and, well…it was easier to say she was borrowing something from you.”
“Logan,” Cole says. “You’re not helping your case, bro. Buying her things, hiding it from us. What you’re doing with her doesn’t sound casual. You talked a big game about it just being for closure. You don’t think sleeping with her might make things more complicated?”
“No. Yes. I… It’s more than just…” I can feel my face heating, embarrassed to talk about my sex life in front of my parents. Fucking Seth. “I love her,” I admit finally. I push my potatoes around my plate. I don’t need to look up to see the pity on their faces. “I’m trying to get back together with her.”
Instead, I hear Cole say, “Pay up.”
Ethan groans. He pulls out his wallet and slaps a handful of twenty-dollar bills into Cole’s open palm.
“It was a bad bet to take,” Cole says sympathetically.
“You guys had a bet?” Emily says crossly. “Why didn’t you ask me to get in on it? I would have won too.”
“Kids, don’t be cruel,” Mom chides. “Logan, there’s a lot to unpack here—”
“Nope,” I say immediately. “Mom, please. I told you years ago I don’t want to talk to you about her.”
“But—”
“She is still going to leave,” Seth interrupts.
“She told you that weeks ago. Things change,” I insist.
“And you’re aware that could be a possible outcome?” Mom asks softly. “That she leaves again?”
“I…” I don’t know what to say. I look around at my family, suddenly at a loss because I don’t really have their support. Will I have to cross my family off the Triple-S list?
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” I say finally. I meet Seth’s eyes again. “I can’t give her up without a fight. Not this time.”
Twenty Two
Sierra
For the first time in two weeks of steady, mind-blowing sex, I beg off for a break. Logan agrees to it, but pouts and attempts to seduce me when we kiss goodnight.
“One night,” I say. I don’t even know why I’m so adamant about it, but I feel like I am getting swept away by him. I need some space to give my endorphins a chance to cool off.
I regret it almost immediately. I have trouble sleeping for missing him. When I wake up, I can sense exactly where he is in the house—lying in his bed. I picture him curled around a pillow. Bulging arms wrapped tight around it, thick legs with a light dusting of hair tangled in the sheets, abs and chest pressed along the pillow’s length. His hair mussed, his expression soft and dazed from sleep, face half-buried in the pillowcase.
It should be me. Why am I being so stubborn?
Stupid, slutty pillow.
I want to crawl back to him, to roll over him like I’m bathing in his pheromones. To throw that pillow aside and take my rightful place in his arms.
Dear god, I’m going stir-crazy. That explains the obsession. I’ve been hiding out in the house for four weeks, and cabin fever is setting in with a vengeance. It must be why I’m eager for some risk. I mean, what if I am able to go around without being seen by Marshal Dawson? It’s too tempting not to push my luck.
