He chuckles again, the dark tone sending chills down my spine. “All right, I’ll take mercy on you.”
I hear a zipper being drawn down, his shorts dropping to the floor. A foil packet crinkling. And then he lays his body on top of mine and slowly eases himself inside me. With my legs closed, it feels tighter, more intense.
Our bodies rock together. The only sounds are our panting and the gentle creaking of the bed frame. His weight and heat press me down into the mattress. It feels shockingly intimate; I am completely at his mercy. The pleasure is so heady, I’m so close, but I can’t get there. I whimper in distress.
He reaches around me and fingers my clit.
That’s all it takes. I cry out, my arching back and shudders suppressed by the weight of him. He pumps hard as I come apart beneath him, then comes with a low groan and sags on top of me.
He rolls us over and pulls me to him for some post-coital cuddling. I hate it as much as I love it with every fiber of my being. I’ve told him and told him this is supposed to be meaningless. My eyelashes flutter in pleasure for a second. If I’m going to hell, I might as well enjoy the journey.
I yawn. I feel so cozy and warm, and so wrung out from the long sex session that I can barely keep my eyes open.
“Take a nap, baby,” he says. “I’ve got you.”
“I’ve got to go,” I say. And even though both of us radiate disappointment, I leave.
Twenty One
Logan
On the day of the monthly family dinner at my parents’ house, Sierra and I tease and flirt mercilessly with each other throughout the workday until I can’t take it anymore. Seth is supposed to be home from his shift in half an hour, but I can’t resist flinging her over my shoulder like a caveman and dragging her to bed. We play-wrestle until we’re breathless, her from exertion and both of us from excitement.
“Stop lording your testosterone-fueled strength over me,” she teases as I easily hold her down. “Throw me a bone every once in a while.”
“Like this?” I say and grind my erection into the sweet spot between her legs.
She moans. “Exactly. Give me more of that.”
For the first time in years—no, my life—I feel light. Happy. Complete. I don’t even fully feel devastated when she pries herselfloose and leaves this time.
Later, Seth and I drive over together to our parents’ house.
“Sierra didn’t want to come?” Seth asks. “Seems like if she’s willing to hop into bed with you, she should be willing to say hi to Mom.”
“What…what do you mean?” I stammer. Even I wince at how fake my tone sounds.
“Don’t give me that. You’re a terrible liar. It’s like watching a bad Sagebrush Players’ performance of an Oscar Wilde play,” Seth says. “Every evening, you say goodnight to each other so formally: ‘Good night, my employee and ex-girlfriend, whom I have no feelings for whatsoever. Sleep well, for I shall not see you till morning.’”
“Your British accent needs some work,” I grumble.
“I was going for mid-Atlantic. And then, not ten minutes pass,” he continues, “and it’s like watching kids sneaking out on a school night—doors creaking open, muffled giggles. Not to mention the other noises I had to buy earplugs for.”
Heat crawls up my neck. “Sorry, man. We were trying to keep it down.”
“Our house is over a hundred years old,” Seth says. “You very well know the walls are paper-thin. So why pretend? Because I told you it was a bad idea before? It still is, but that’s never stopped you before. But you don’t need to keep this charade up for my sake.”
I clear my throat. “She has this idea that we shouldn’t tell anyone. Because we’re not actually together. It’s just…sex.”
Seth gives me another look. “Is it just sex?” His face says,Don’t lie to me, I know it’s not.
“I’m hoping I can change her mind,” I say finally.
Seth exhales. “You’re going to get hurt,” he says bluntly.
“I know.” I hesitate. “I have to try.”
“Do you have to try? After all she put us through—” He sounds so bitter for a minute. “Don’t do it, bro. She’s your kryptonite. If you start this up again, you’re going to spiral. Just like you did before. Don’t putmethrough that again.”
