It was after a long week of escalating bickering, followed by angry, punishing sex. My mom had a new boyfriend, who locked me out of the house a few times, and fighting with Logan always felt like a safe escape. We were at a party, and Logan was distracted by his friends. I thought that if I started another fight with him, he would pay attention to me. Turn his eyes on me in that addicting way that no one else did.
But instead, he told me he was sick of me embarrassing him in front of his friends. That we were over.
I knew I’d pushed too far. But when I tried to talk to him, he shut me out completely. I pleaded, begged, humiliated myself without a second thought. Pride meant nothing when he was the only thing that mattered. My own personal savior.
But it didn’t work.
And now he’s become more than I could ever imagine. A real shining hero to everyone, not just me. He’s the goddamn Golden Boy of Sagebrush now.
If only Rick Dawson hadn’t become the town marshal, the head of Sagebrush law enforcement. If only there weren’t that goddamn tape, could I even for a minute entertain a second chance with him?
No, I’m asking the wrong questions. If only I weren’tme. I’m still the girl who leaves tarnish on everything I touch,tempting him because…I don’t even know why.
He’ll make someone incredibly happy someday. Someone good, like he’s become. I try to find solace in that, but it’s like a punch to the gut.
Eleven
Logan
I finally tell my family about Sierra when we gather in the conference room for yet another meeting Emily has planned.
“The Sagebrush Founders’ Parade is coming up,” Emily explains when Ethan demands to know why we’re meeting again in addition to our regular weekly one. “I think we should participate with a float. What do you all think?”
“Another day, another business meeting that could have been an email,” Ethan grumbles.
“If it were an email, it would take days to agree on a theme and make plans,” Emily says. “This is much more efficient. Just an hour of your day.”
Ethan’s face falls. “You think this will take a full hour?”
“Before we get into that,” Seth says, glancing at me, “isn’t there something you want to update us on, Logan?”
With our staggered schedules, this is the first time we’ve allbeen together since Sierra reappeared. And I’ve been putting this off—nervous they’ll react the same way Seth did.
I steel myself, then say, “Sierra is back.”
Ethan, Cole, and Emily all start talking at once.
“What? When?” Ethan demands.
“Sierra Howard?” Emily says. “ThatSierra?”
“Have you told Mom?” Cole asks.
“Yes, that Sierra. No, I haven’t told Mom yet. It’s only been a few days—”
“It’s been a week,” Seth says.
I glare at him.You wanted me to tell them myself, I convey with my expression.
He raises his hands and backs off.
“A week!” Emily shrieks. “That’s why we’ve barely seen you? And you knew too, Seth? Is that why you’ve both been acting weird and secretive?”
“I haven’t—”
“It wasn’t my secret to tell,” Seth says over my protest.
“It’s a secret?” Ethan asks, frowning.
