Her entire demeanor lights up, and her eyes water with tears, like I’ve just shared the most perfect thing.
Itisperfect to me.But that information isn’t always well-received.
“No one’s better suited to that honor than you.”She swipes at a rogue tear.“I just hope you don’t bore the poor child with history facts all the time.”
I laugh.“Hey, even you liked my boring history facts sometimes.But he has broad interests.He may even lean toward the sciences.His mom’s a doctor.We aren’t together.She has him on weekends,” I ramble, and the gauge of important information falls into the green zone again.
Our boat rocks against the wake of another as we travel underneath the bridge.Venus braces herself with the counter, but my hand goes up anyway, locking with hers.She smiles appreciatively as the waves settle again.The air is cooler under the bridge.Cars rumble over our heads, and suddenly, it doesn’t feel like such a silly thing, being on this so-called boat on the river together.
“Feels like the lean-to,” she says, staring up.“After the rain.”
And it does have the cave-like quality we were once used to.I smile at the memory, but it fades fast under the weight of where we ended.
“Tell me why,” I say as we emerge into the sunlight again.“I need to know why you left.”
She nods, the sun catching her soft, green eyes, making them glow.“I was scared.”
“Scared ofwhat?You’re not scared of anything.”
“Not true.Youknowthat’s not true.”
Her climbing in my window, curling against me, trembling—she’s right.I’m probably the only one who saw through her fearlessness to the pain underneath.My anger retreats.
“I’m scared of many things,” she goes on nervously.“Space travel freaks me out.I don’t care for leeches, though I understand their purpose.Sinkholes and tar pits?—”
“Venus—”
“You, Henry.Youscared me.Youstillscare me.”
“How?You used to say that I made you feel safe.”
“You did… I-I-I nearly killed you, remember?”
“You might kill me today,” I joke, motioning to the flat boat under us, but it falls flat against the weight of her sadness.
I grab her legs and spin her on the stool so she has no choice but to look at me.“Venus, please.I chose to be with you then.I’m choosing to be here now.We saved each other that night.It brought us together.Foralways.You told me you loved me.You bought the dress.You wanted to go to prom.Why didn’t you?”
“I saw you coming through the path with your bouquet of daisies, the friendliest flower, just like from that movie,” she says, smiling while tears slip, “and I couldn’t do it.I couldn’t do it to you.”
“Dowhatto me?”
“Trap you,” she breathes out.
The outboard motor pops and sputters as the captain curls into a wide U-turn, marking the halfway point.Pop Forty hits play on the speaker behind the bar, while the only other passengers—a couple in their fifties—dance awkwardly on the other side of the boat, mostly trying to keep their balance.
Despite the activity around us, our eyes stay locked on each other.Maybe I’m glaring at her.Anger, once again, pulses through me.
“You’re the most intelligent, logical person I’ve ever known.You were my biggest advocate, my best friend, my fucking heart.You said you loved me.We had plans.Explain what I’m missing, Venus.Tell me what I don’t understand.Because if I can’t latch on to some understanding, some fucking peace over this, then when this boat docks, that’s it.I never want to see you again.”
CHAPTER12
Venus
His words hurt morethan expected, even though I prepared myself for the worst outcomes.
That he’d be unkind.
That he wouldn’t want to talk to me.
