“Shhh, everything’s okay.I’m here.We’re together.”
The words force more tears that mingle with hers when I kiss her again.
I unhook her bra, and she frees me of my shirt.Sunlight beams in from the stained glass, specking her beautiful skin in purple, blue, and pink bands.My lips slide down her neck, across her collarbone, teasing and tasting her.I lay her gently on the blanket, careful of the hard surface underneath, and devour her with my mouth—the curves of her breasts, the valley between them, her tight stomach, and her sensitive belly button ring.She whispers my name again, and I know I’ll hear her in my dreams.
I rid her of the rest of her clothes, and take in her gorgeous body under the streams of light.She smiles up at me, and a tear slips from her eye.I kiss it away before letting my tongue travel the length of her.
Lower and lower still, until I wrap her legs around my shoulders and take her—desperate to have her in my mouth, all tongue, lips, and fingers, until I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.My motions are wild, frantic.I’m lost in her.Devouring her.More hysteria than concentration.It’s almost a surprise when her hand rakes through my hair, and she comes wildly, screaming my name.
For a strange second, I think of her next lover, hearing my name instead of theirs.Fuck him.Fuck them all.She’ll always be mine.
Tears fall with the thought.
Her hand moves to my cock, lining me up to her entrance, but I pause, hovering over her, motionless, stunned at how tragically beautiful she looks beneath me.Her hands cup my ass, pulling me in, nudging me inside.And when my will finally breaks, I cry out, “Venus,” as I slam into her.I grind into her, locking her to me to ease the friction.It feels good—she always feels good—but I’m desperate to be deeper, to have her closer.
I flip us over, position her in my lap, and bring her close to my chest.She takes what she needs, understanding that I want more connection.She watches me watch her.Softly kissing her perfect lips.Sharing the taste of her on my tongue.Catching the scent of campfire still in her hair, mixing with the gentle rose of her skin—burned roses—and still, I capture everything about this moment, sealing it into my memory.My fingers drift up and down her back as she rides me.Our connection is so strong and all-consuming—heads touching, chests locked, arms and fingers intertwined, and her thighs bringing me in—that we aren’t two people.We’re one, about to be split apart again.
My soulmate wants me.I want her.But we can’t be together.The fucking unfairness nearly ruins this.But her hands drift across my beard, and she says, “Come back to me, Henry.”
With a relentless kiss, I do.
She sweeps my tears away as I kiss hers, and I soak in her love and comfort.I try holding back, savoring this and the familiar comfort between us, but it feels too damn good.I come, bringing her with me, until our hot arousal pools between us and we curl into each other.
Ecstasy soon gives way to sobs, and we’re crying into each other’s shoulders again.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, a tremor in her voice.
“Don’t be,” I say, running a hand over her head to hold her closer.“It wouldn’t be us without big feelings.”
Through a ragged breath, she chuckles.“Andtheyused to say I was emotionless.”
“I remember.Theynever knew you.”
“No.They didn’t realize… I saved all my feelings for you.”She sighs against me, fingers trailing over my back.“I’ll never love like this again.”
My chest tightens, and that loneliness, sharp and bitter, resurges in me.“What’s your rule about using absolutes?”
She pulls away to see me better.Her brow furrows in anguish.“I won’t, Henry.”
“I won’t either,” I say in a breath, “not like this.You’re the heart of me, Venus.”
“And you’re mine.”She latches on to me again.“I’m sorry.I hate hurting you again.”
“Even a day with you is worth a lifetime of hurt.I’ll be okay.I promise,” I assure her, desperate to take away her pain.“You’ll be okay, too.We won’t have this, but…but love will find you.”
She moves away from me, pulling the end of the blanket over herself as I speak.I tug on my underwear and shirt.
“When the pain softens, and you’re resigned to a life alone,” I go on, pulling on my jeans.“It’ll sneak up on you gently so as not to scare you.He’ll be unattached like you, free to follow you anywhere, dazzled by your brain and body without needing much else.He’ll beeasy.”
I stand, reaching out to her.She takes my hand, and I lift her from her blanket.I use the blanket’s corner to clean off her inner thigh, wiping me away.
Then, I dress her, bending down to put on her panties as I talk, and wretched emotions keep coursing through me.
“You’ll give in, little by little, sharing pieces of you, only just enough,” I say, hooking her bra.“Not right away, but eventually, you’ll decide—this is love.A watered-down and murky version, butlove enough, anyway.Companionable.Practical.Pleasant.And you’ll relax into him the way you can’t with me.I know you, and he only knows what you want him to see.That’ll make him feel safe.But how safe is he, really?I’ll still be the one you think about every night, the one you want in a storm….You’ll still be the oneIthink about.”
Her shirt falls over her head, and I tug it across her chest.Her glassy, green eyes land on mine, pained.
“Henry, please…”
