“Where’s the trail, Dad?”
Venus and I share a quick smile before she shows him the overgrown cut in the woods.The path isn’t as defined as it once was, but it hasn’t disappeared, either.We push through stretching branches, around wiry oaks, and through what we used to call the “tall soldiers,” a patch of slender pines surrounded by huge fallen cones that I deemed discarded cannonballs.
“Remember when Maggie would send us out here to collect pinecones for her Christmas decorations?”Venus asks.
I slide my free hand in hers, locking them together tightly.“Yep, you always instigated a pinecone fight.”
“You insisted on acting out historical battles, remember?”
“Absolutely, with sticks, forts, and pinecones,” I chuckle.“You always went off-script, though.”
She smirks.“I only implemented better strategies.”
Olly’s the first to see the tall shrubs and exterior fence that mark home.He races around the side of the house, yelling in victory.“We’re here!We made it!Grandma!Gramps!I brought Buster!”
Venus tugs my hand and stops us at the corner where no one can see.I set the basket down to give her my full attention.“Are you okay?”
She takes a deep breath.She drops my hand and fiddles with her bracelets.“She’s the closest thing to a mom I’ve ever had, you know.I-I want her to be happy to see me.”
My heart sinks with her rising anxiety.I can’t imagine what that’s like for her.
“I want you here.Olly wants you here.Buster and Fred want you here.Mom will, too.She’s outnumbered.”
“Can we have a signal?Like we had in middle school?The pencil tapping?Remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Something that tells me when to… be quiet?”she asks, a little breathless.
“No, you don’t need that anymore.I don’t want you to be quiet.How about we have a different signal?To assure you, not change you.One that says that everything’s okay?”
Her nerves vanish behind a gentle smile.“I’d like that.”
I take her hand, place it on my heart, and hold it there.“This time, whenever you see me touch my chest over Frank the Frog, you’ll know everything is okay… and that Frank and I love you and think you’re perfect.”
She snort-laughs.“I don’t know if Frank would concur, but yes, I like that.Thank you.”
“If it helps, she’s probably more nervous than you are.”
“I don’t wish her anxiety, but, yes, that helps.”She smooths out her t-shirt and jeans, fiddles with her braid, and takes another deep breath.I hold out my hand, and she takes it.
Around the corner, we step through the gate and into the backyard.Fred mans a smoking grill filled with burgers and hot dogs.Olly guzzles lemonade while Buster yaps at his feet.Mom steps out from the sliding glass door with a stack of plates and a small bowl on top.
“Olly, Buster’s thirsty, too.How about pouring him some water in this?”she says, handing him the bowl.
The gate door shuts behind us, catching everyone’s attention, except for Olly’s.He snatches the bowl and races to the outdoor sink.
Mom’s brown eyes run over us, hesitating at our locked hands.I narrow my eyes at her, and she smiles lightly.Fred makes it to us first, tongs in hand.
“Venus, our brilliant world traveler, is back from saving the world!Great to see you,” he says with his usual top-notch enthusiasm.“Love the ink, honey.Absolutely gorgeous.”
“I have fifteen tattoos,” she reports awkwardly, “all my designs.And, yes, it’s lovely to see you, too, Fred.”
Mom moseys over slowly, tucking her hands behind her back like she doesn’t know what to do with them.“It’s been a long time,” she says, barely making eye contact.
I reach for my inhaler and take a quick puff.“Mom?—”
“Maggie.”In a surprise move, Venus steps forward and forces an embrace that lingers until Mom gives in.“I-I’m happy to see you.Thanks for having me over.”
