“This little runway is unmanned. But there is a flight tower at another runway on the other side of town.” Hudson tells me.
I nod as if that all makes perfect sense to me. Hudson touches his mic on his headset and the radio crackles to life. “Control, this is Rescue 4 Delta taking off from Starfall Valley station 2. Flight plan over the town and then south along the mountain ridge. Requesting a traffic check.”
A voice comes back over the radio.“Skies are clear Rescue 4 Delta. Wind coming across from the east.”
“Rescue 4 Delta taking off in a southerly direction.”
“Got you on radar Rescue 4 Delta. Clear for take off.”
I don’t want to tell him or let on, but hearing Hudson request permission for take off is one of the hottest things ever. He is so relaxed. So in control. And then with a flick of a switch and his hand on just a stick, the whole helicopter starts to shake.
I tense up. My foot hits an imaginary break as if I am in a car and as if I might have some effect on the situation. The shaking increases. It’s loud. The seat vibrates under me. My hand goes to the window. I’m like a tense starfish, legs and arms outstretched in the small cab.
Hudson’s warm hand touches my thigh, giving me a little squeeze. “It’s okay. We are perfectly safe.”
“We’re off the ground. Do you know we are off the ground?” I’m watching the landing pad get further away. And then we are moving forward. Faster than I would have thought. In my glass bubble I can see everything. We are not that far off the ground. I feel like my feet could skim the tops of the trees.
“Just breathe.” Hudson is still calm. His deep voice is like hands soothing me. He still has one hand on my thigh, spreading warmth through my body.
The mountain drops away beneath us as I see beautiful crystal blue lakes. And the town of Starfall Valley stretches out before us. Looking like a little toy town from way up here.
Hudson logs his coordinates in with the traffic control.
The whir of the blades and the vibrating cockpit are soothing now as I come to terms with the fact we are not going to drop out of the sky. And it helps that Hudson is so relaxed. I like seeinghis long legs, his feet on the pedals. He has long fingers too. There is something that just makes me feel safe next to him.
Sensing that I have relaxed, Hudson gives my thigh another little squeeze and then moves his hand away, letting it rest on the gap between our seats. But he is close enough that I can smell his aftershave. It’s a spicy, masculine smell that makes me think about him chopping up wood, or building a cabin and other such manly things. It’s a great smell.
I look out the window and feel a little thrill of excitement. For the fact that I am flying. The view of mountains and forest around us. The feeling of freedom. And that I am sitting next to Hudson. With his long legs, broad shoulders, kind eyes and easy smile. This is a good feeling. And it’s been a long time since I remember anything feeling this good.
The forest below gives way to open fields and then we fly low over another crystal blue lake, bordered on one side by a mountain ridge.
“It’s so beautiful.”
“Yep. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.”
I glance over at him. “You grew up here?”
“Born and bred in the mountains.”
I look around, glad now that the front of the helicopter is all glass. What must it be like to live out here? To grow up here? No wonder Hudson is so laid back and friendly. He talks about his family with a lot of love. It is easy to tell he is loved. He is whole. Compared to him I am broken.
The helicopter does a wide turn and as I look down at all of the green nature below, I know in my heart that I want this. All I’ve ever thought about is what I don’t want. I don’t want therun down hovel where I was born and raised. I don’t want crime ridden neighbourhoods and the feeling of hopelessness.
I want this. I want to swim in those lakes. I want to run free through the forest. I want to sit and have a coffee in that sweet little toy town. And I want Hudson.
“Rescue 4 Delta at Starfall Valley, station 2. Approaching airfield. Crossing runway from the east.”
A little thrill races through me. Why do I find his radio talk so sexy? He has a great voice. He is so handsome it hurts. And he is making me feel things I never thought I would feel. But along with all the good feelings, there is that little voice of self doubt.
Chapter 6
June
I’ve gone from being so happy and excited that I almost jumped into Hudson’s arms once we landed, to now, sitting in the cab of his truck, feeling so low it hurts. I’m waiting while Hudson ties down the helicopter, looking out into the forest beyond. It is so beautiful here. I want this life more than I’ve ever wanted anything else. But I’m also feeling like I don’t deserve this kind of happiness. I know it’s a throw back from years of trauma. I just don’t know how to deal with it.
Hudson gets into the driver’s seat of his truck.
“Ready to go?”
