Walking the few steps to the car, I slide a piece of gum out of the pack in my suit jacket and pop it into my mouth. The wrapper crumbles between my fingertips but I settle on shoving it into my pocket since there isn't a nearby trash can in sight.
I hop in the driver's seat and push the button to turn the car on, a moment later, pulling out and circling the block to find a parking spot that isn't directly in front of Bram's. It's not that I don't prefer being so close, but there are plenty of other people who frequent Bram's, and I don't need to be the dick blocking potential business.
Plus, June's shifts usually last a minimum of a few hours, so there's no real reason for me to hog such a prime parking spot.
Once I've found a new location across the street with a solid vantage point to the diner, I put the car in park and relax into the seat. My backpack seems to grow a pair of eyes that glare at me from its position on the floor in the passenger seat, but I make no attempt to reach for it. Not yet at least. Sure, there are some school assignments I need to catch up on, but for now, they can wait.
Instead, I slide my phone out and swipe the screen up to bring it to life.
Countless apps draw my attention and I thumb through them, not a single one pulling my attention. But because killing time is the plan here, I click on Instagram.
The first photo in my feed is an old Buick that was restored. I swipe through the before and after photos and then scroll to the next post to distract me from the clock slowly ticking away.
It’s a video of some idiot eating shit on a skateboard.
I barely give it a glance and hit the search button, clicking the username that was already at the top of the list.
Her profile lags loading, and I grow impatient with the shitty reception on this side of town.
Finally, it pops up, her vibrant energy leaping out at me through the screen.
She's up to nine-thousand-eighty-three followers, and I'm sure I'm no better than all the other dudes drooling over her. It doesn't stop me though—it never has, and it never will.
I click the latest post, the photo taking up more of my screen and making my heart do this weird tremor-type thing. I should probably get that checked out, but I'd rather keep staring at her bright eyes and mesmerizing smile.
She's so God damn beautiful it's almost painful. There's a part of me that thinks she's completely aware of it, too, and that's why she posts photos like this, but then there's this other part that wonders if she'll ever see herself the way I do.
"Fuck," I mutter and run my free hand across my jaw. Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I click the button on the side of my phone and black the screen, because if I keep looking at her, it's only going to make the next few hours miserable with the very real possibility that I won't be capable of not thinking of her.
Although, I was having that problem before I even saw the damn picture.
I tilt my head back and pinch my eyes shut, allowing a heavy sigh to leave me.
"Come on, Alec, pull it together man, she's just a girl." But I know better than that. She's not just a girl. She'sthegirl. And I'd be lying if I said I haven’t already pictured the next fifty years of our lives together at least a dozen times.
The first time was quite literally the first time I saw her. She was walking across campus, and my body and heart did a full stop. It was like I slammed face-first into a brick wall. I heard her laugh, saw her smile, and I was a fucking goner.
My friend had snapped his fingers in front of me but there was no coming back, no, not from that—not fromher.
It wasn't until much later that our paths would ever actually cross, and when they did, I actually considered whether it was fate doing me the biggest solid of my life. This glowing beauty wasn't just some girl I'd only ever see in passing at my university—she was the best friend of one of my client's girlfriends. And what that really meant was she was completely off-limits.
It's not just my job on the line, but my life, too. These guys would kill me if I even considered pursuing her, so my only consolation is admiring her from afar and basking in the few moments we do get to share.
Maybe one day I'll get my happily ever after; it just won't be with her.
And that alone kills me a little bit inside.
At first, I thought it was simply infatuation, because who wouldn't fall for such a gorgeous woman. But the more I've been around her, talked to her, seen her exist, the more I realize how very wrong I was. She's not simply looks, granted she's fucking winning in that department, but she's intelligent, well-spoken, funny, kind, and ambitious. She has no shortage of admirable qualities. Her being June's best friend, the only fatal flaw. Sure, it allows me to catch a moment with her here and there, but it's the one thing that will never allow us to move forward.
Granted, it's bold of me to assume she would want that anyway.
She's friendly with me, some may even consider it flirty, but that's her personality. It's contagious. She's sunshine and the rest of us are fortunate to be in her radiating presence.
Every single time I'm around her it's like life is breathed into my body.
I'm aware of how fucking stupid that sounds, but I can't help it. Maybe it's because I can't have her that I want her so badly.
That's human nature, right?
