"What'll it be, sweetheart?" Ricardo coughs the phlegm out of his throat. "You, or them?"
How can he ask me such a question and make it seem so fucking simple?
But shouldn't it be?
I give myself to him, in whatever manner he's referring to, and he spares my mother and father's lives.
I do the only thing I've ever been truly good at, the thing that's gotten me through some of the worst situations of my life. I flip the little lever in my head and disassociate from the decision I'm about to declare out loud.
"Okay," I spit out and step toward him, my hand shaking as I reach out to touch his arm in an attempt to get him to lower the weapon aimed at my dad. "I'll do it. Just don't kill them, please."
A wicked grin spreads across Ricardo's ugly face, only, it doesn't meet his eyes, and somehow, that makes it that much more sadistic. "Atta girl." He holsters the gun and extends his hand toward my dad.
His nice guy act isn't fooling either of us, though.
Quivering, my dad rises to his feet and avoids my gaze. Defeat washes over him, but doesn't he see that I just saved his life? I fixed the problem. Who cares that I lost mine in the process?
I expect Ricardo to toss me over his shoulder like some kind of prize won at the fair and steal me away from life as I know it, but instead, he tilts his head toward me. "When I come for you, be ready." He pauses and then adds, "If you try to evade me, I will find out. And if you do, I will gut every single person you care about, starting with this pathetic excuse of a man you call your dad. Do not try to go to the police. I own them. There is nowhere you can hide. I own you now, too. Do you understand?"
I want to cry, but it's like my tears are too afraid of what’s happening to come out. My lips part and I whisper, "I understand," even though there's nothing about this that makes sense.
Not the cruel man standing in front of me. Not the cancer he claims my mother has. Not the deal I just made with the devil.
One thing is certain—there's no way all of us are going to make it out of this alive.
So when he leaves and the door latches shut with a thud behind him, and the house grows eerily quiet except for the thumping of my heart which seems to be beating in my own ears, I recognize that this man is going to ruin my life.
"Cora." My dad finally breaks the silence.
I meet his gaze, and suddenly it's like I don't know him at all. A few minutes ago he was my father, a man I looked up to, a man I respected, a man Ithoughttold the truth. But now the only thing I see is a liar, a pushover, someone who cannot protect me or my mother.
"How long?" I ask. "How long has mom been sick?"
His chest rises and he sighs. "Does it matter?"
"I think I deserve to know what I just gave up my life for." I do everything I can to keep my voice steady.
"We didn't catch it in time."
"What do you mean?" I question even though I already know what it entails.
"By the time we found it, it was too late. The cancer had spread." New tears well in his eyes but they do nothing to rid me of the anger building within me.
How could they keep this from me? How could they withhold the truth when it impacted me, too?
"Isn't there anything that can be done?" My fingers continue to dig into my palm, a sensation that keeps me grounded.
"Don't you think we've tried it all?" Dad exhales. "A buddy told me about this experimental treatment. Your mom has responded well to it. But it's expensive, and to qualify, you have to jump through a lot of hoops." He runs his hand through his disheveled hair. "The only thing I could do was get Ricardo involved. He had pull. Influence." Dad shakes his head. "When your mother finds out...she'll never continue."
I stomp toward him. "You willnottell her. Do you hear me?" Now, it's me that's in my father's face. "I don't care what kind of lie you have to spin. I don't know what she already knows about this whole arrangement. But this. What just happened here. You speak a word of it, and I will never talk to you again. What's done is done. The only thing that's important now is keeping her alive." My tenacity surprises even me because I was practically trembling five minutes ago. "That's all this was ever about, right? Keeping her alive?"
Dad bobs his head up and down. "Yeah, I..."
Holding my palm out to silence him, I say, "I don't want to talk about it anymore. There's nothing that can change what's already done."
He lied to me. He kept this secret. And now, I have to pay for his poor decisions.
I don't blame him for wanting to save her, but why couldn't he have realized that this was bigger than him? That nothing good ever comes from making a deal with the devil.
