"I'm fine." I turn my shaking palms up and take in the crimson staining them. My forearms are covered, too, as are my pale pink shirt and slacks. Without meaning to, I skim my fingers over the base of my throat, flinching a bit when I get to my windpipe. I swallow harshly and adjust to the pain.
I'm not fine.
I'm not fine at all.
Between having killed my boss, sold myself to some criminal, and my mother actively dying, it makes the little things that were stressing me out prior seem like nothing.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Miller asks me, his tone cool and even as if he’s completely unfazed by the dead man bleeding out a foot away.
I nod but no words follow. I want to tell him, I do, it's just hard for me to believe it myself.
Did I really kill a man?
"I tried to get away," is what comes out. "It's my fault that he?—"
"Cora," Miller raises his voice but not in a threatening manner. "What happened here wasnotyour fault. Do you understand me? Christ...I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner. I'm so sorry this happened to you." He breathes in and shakes his head. "What can I do? What do you need from me?"
When did Miller become so concerned about my well-being? When did he become so sweet? When did he start acknowledging that I exist?
It's a shame he's gay, because the way he's looking at me, the way he's caring for me…it's exactly what I want in a partner. And whoever he's with should feel damn lucky they have someone like that.
The first time I saw him, I was immediately attracted to him. He was talking business with one of June's men, and our eyes met from across the club. I thought he saw me, like ahey, there you arekind of way that souls do when they reconnect in another life, but when I pressed June and Magnus to introduce us, they told me of his sexual preference. I wanted them to be wrong, I wanted it to be a joke, but Miller never acted upon that first lingering look across the club, and that was enough to confirm what they had told me.
I just hope whoever he matches with makes him happy, because he deserves that. And if the only kind of relationship he's able to offer me is friendship, I'm okay with that, too. I could use all the friends I can get, especially lately.
Finally, I say, "I could use a hug."
Miller doesn't hesitate, yet pulls me in, wrapping me into his broad chest and holding me close. He rubs small circles on my back and I close my eyes and breathe him in—his scent is a mixture of cedar and something sweet, perhaps vanilla. He rests his chin on the top of my head, and at least a full minute passes of us standing there, holding onto each other, not saying a word.
Miller breaks the silence. "I need to call this in."
I sigh. "Okay." And come to terms with the fact that I'm going to go away for a very long time. I'd like to think self-defense would save me but, in a world where men rule everything, I wouldn't be surprised if the system fails me the same way it's failed so many other women.
"Everything is going to be okay; I promise," Miller tells me before pulling his phone out of his pocket. He thumbs the screen and dials a contact saved asSilver. He steps away, but not far, and waits for the line to connect. "I need a cleanup," he says through the phone. "Yeah, I'll send you a pin. And hey, that thing I called you about earlier. Cancel the order. It's been handled." The person on the other end says something I can't make out, and then the call ends.
"I don't understand what's going on," I admit. "Who was that?"
Miller's jaw tenses, and for a second, I think he's not going to answer my question. "That was a contractor of mine. His name is Silver. He's going to take care of this." Miller tips his head toward the dead body. "All of this."
"You mean like dispose of the body? Isn't that illegal?" The second I ask I know I should have just kept my mouth shut. Of course, it's illegal, dumbass.
"I don't want to lie to you, Cora." Miller runs his hand through his hair.
"You grew your hair out."
His dark brows pinch together for a moment, and he grins. "Yeah. Do you like it?"
"It looks good." I study him as a thick brown piece falls onto his forehead.
If I'm not mistaken, his cheeks blush slightly.
"Thanks." Miller slides his phone back into his pocket. "Cora, I don't want to scare you but..." He points with his thumb to the dead body. "This stuff, I'm used to it. I'm no stranger to violence. I hate that you went through this, I really do, but I'm not going to let you get in trouble for it. Not when there are other options available."
I wait for him to continue and when he doesn't, I open up my mouth. "Isn't it wrong though?"
Miller draws in a breath and slowly exhales. "Right and wrong, that's always the question, isn't it? Who gets to decide? What he tried to do to you was wrong, wasn't it? Doesn't that justify your actions? Just because something is illegal, doesn't make it wrong."
"Yeah..." I swivel the tip of my shoe into the floor and consider his words.
