"How long are you staying?" I ask Alec as I pull out a spare change of clothes.
"I have to take Simon to do a thing in a little bit, so not much longer." His face saddens for a second. "But I'll be back. Promise."
I pause in the doorway between him and the frame and look up at him. "Thanks," I whisper.
Alec plants his hand above my head on the frame and inches closer, his other palm inching forward to lay along my cheek. "What for?"
I lean into his touch. "Taking care of me."
He runs his thumb along my skin, his dark eyes darting between mine. "I'd do anything for you." Alec lowers his head slowly and skims his nose against mine, his lips pressing a soft kiss on my lips.
My body comes alive with desire but ultimately is overpowered by exhaustion and a dull ache that consumes me.
I kiss him back and sigh, my heart happy and safe here with him. Oh, what I would give to turn back time and go back to when this could work. When we could all work.
"You should rest," Alec says just a breath away from me.
"Yeah." I position my forehead against his chest and bask in his earthy smell.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I groan at the interruption.
Alec chuckles and steps back to give me space I didn't want. "Are you going to shower first or get straight into bed?"
"I should probably shower; I have hospital germs on me." I glance down at the clothes from Friday that Silver had washed for me that got kicked by Ricardo. "I wonder if Miller has some matches or a lighter somewhere."
"What for?"
"To burn these clothes."
"I'll look for some while you shower." Alec takes the handful of clothes from me. "And in the meantime, I'll put these in the bathroom so you can check your phone." He leaves me in the doorway and opens two more doors before he finds the ensuite bathroom.
I pull the thing out of my pocket and struggle to get my broken screen to unlock. Once I do, I find a couple texts from June checking in on me and asking if we can talk. Nothing else from Ricardo, Silver, or Miller.
My chest tightens as my mind wanders to London and how she might be doing. I shove the thought and my phone away because neither is doing me any good right now. Worrying is only going to make me experience the pain twice if something does happen to her, and I've experienced enough torment for the day.
I have to be okay with not knowing until there is news from the hospital.
"I turned the water on for you," Alec says when I step into the bathroom, the mirror already steaming up.
"Thanks." I smile at him and kick off my shoes.
He goes to leave the room, but I catch his arm on the way out.
"You're not leaving, are you?"
"No. Just going to give you some privacy."
"Okay." I want to ask him to stay, to at least sit in here with me so I'm not alone, but I can't bring myself to admit I'm terrified of solitude right now. I've never shied away from personal time in the past, and yet here I am, afraid of the person I've become and hesitant to be stuck in a room with her.
"I can stay if you want?" Alec asks the question like he's unsure if that's what I'd prefer.
"No, it's okay," I lie and go back to stripping the rest of my clothes off.
"Let me go see if I can find a lighter and either way, I'll be right back."
He gives my hand a gentle squeeze before leaving, his eyes not trailing down to my nearly naked body.
I finish slipping out of my bra and panties and step into the piping-hot water. Closing my eyes, I tilt my head back and let it wash over me, and do what it can to rid me of what happened today. Only, as the water continues to flow, none of my worries disappear.
