That's what we know and love about her, though.
June cares in her own unique way, not in a warm and fuzzy manner. And that's okay. It's her.
I'm the bubbly friend, and she's the prickly pear. We have a very nice balance of darkness and light, only, mine seems to be dimming lately, and it's hard to counteract how fucked in the head I am.
It's temporary...nothing lasts forever. This shit storm I'm in will pass and everything will be okay.
Only, everything won't be okay, because I sold myself to some disgusting man who plans to use me however he pleases.
It's been two days since our run-in, and I haven't heard from him. He told me tobe ready. But what does that mean? This entire situation has me looking over my shoulder every two seconds and questioning every single person who looks in my direction. The clock is ticking, and the worst thing of all is not knowing when my time will be up.
I should have asked him what he meant. I should have pressed for details. I should have negotiated. I should have done something other than give my life in exchange for my mom and dad's. What was I supposed to do? Let him blow my dad’s brains out onto our living room floor and pick up the mess while wondering when my mom would be next? Things are already worse than I thought, but actually losing my parents would be worse than losing myself. I just have to come to terms with the fact that the life I had planned out for myself won't happen the way I expected.
When does life ever go as planned, anyway?
Ricardo didn't imply that he would kill me, so at least I don't have to die. But what if what he has planned for me is worse than death? Even the thought of him touching me with his disgusting hands sends a chill over my body and makes my palms sweaty.
I could have told Alec what was going on and maybe he could have helped me. The memory of Ricardo telling me he would kill everyone I cared about if I tried to escape him came rushing back in and stopped me, especially since Alec is high on the list of people I care about.
He's always seemed to care about me, in a manner that leads me to believe he sees me, not just the version of me that I portray to everyone else, but the real me. The insecure, scared me, the one that puts on a front because they're terrified that if they don't maybe people won't like them.
I'm not sure how to be anything other than that if I tried. I've spent so long pretending I'm not sure who I really am anymore. My need to people please outweighs whatever natural instinct I have for self-preservation. Hence me making a deal with the devil.
The bell on the door to the diner chimes as it opens, a tall figure appears through the entry.
I hold my breath until I make out the features of the handsome tattooed man and sigh as Magnus, one of June's boyfriends strolls in like he owns the place and goes straight to the counter where June stands on the other side, waiting for an order from the kitchen.
"Hey, princess," he murmurs.
June turns on her heel with a big grin across her face. "Maggie." She stands on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips before going back to work.
It's nice to see her happy, especially after everything she's been through to get here. Her happiness makes my sorrows seem less, like I'm living vicariously through her or something.
If only. Then maybe I could have her criminal boyfriends fix the massive hole I've dug myself into.
Although, her guys never would have let it happen in the first place.
I don't know what kind of sketchy shit they deal with, June has never been open with me about what kind of jobs theyreallyhave. I'd be an idiot not to assume it has something to do with illegal activities though. There's no way they're that rich from anything legal. Sure, they might have some shit on the up and up, but they quite literally act like they've just come from committing murder every time I see one of them.
Not to mention, June has been super secretive, more so than she usually is, and has had really bizarre shit happen to her and given me super vague explanations for it. I'm all for privacy, I get that, but I'm supposed to be her best friend. She and her guys went through this rough patch when they were keeping things from her and she was hurt by it, so I don’t know why she's okay doing the same to me.
I’m quite the hypocrite though, since I'm quite literally doing the same exact thing…
Only, my secret is staying tucked away because Ricardo literally told me he would kill people if I spoke a word about it. If that's not justification for keeping my mouth shut, I don't know what is.
"Sorry," June says and slides back across from me. "I should be good for a few minutes." She fumbles with the salt and pepper shaker at our table. "I need to refill these," she mutters under her breath, clearly distracted.
I don't blame her, she's at work, and that's what she's supposed to be doing—working; not talking to me.
"What's up?" I ask her. "How are things? When can we catch up?"
It's been a minute since June and I have gotten any quality time, and now feels like a pretty good time to make it happen since I have no idea when Ricardo plans to come for me or what that even entails.
Will I be allowed to see my friends ever again? Will he ship me away to some castle in never-never land and lock me in a tower or something?
I hate the ideas that run wild just because I don't have the facts. That alone might be the thing eating me alive the most—the not knowing. If I knew, then maybe I could come to terms with whatever fate is in store for me. Perhaps part of the punishment is not knowing. Maybe Ricardo enjoys a bit of psychological warfare before he claims his victim.
A shiver rushes over me.
