“That makes sense. You’ve seen a lot during your time here, haven’t you?”
“Yeah.”
Their food arrived, and diverted both of them from the conversation. He was even hungrier than he thought he would be, and he devoured his food.
They each ordered another drink, and Marsh sighed, “Can we just stay here for a while longer? It’s nice to be out, and to pretend that things are different than they are.”
“Sure.”
She grabbed his face, turning him to look at her. She stroked his jaw, waiting to see how he would respond. “You’re attractive,” he whispered.
“Oh yeah?” She grinned impishly, and waited to see what else he would say or do. He shifted in the seat enough to kiss her.
He lost himself for a second, pretending she was Clara. But it only lasted a second, before he was opening his eyes and pulling away. He couldn’t do this. Not actually–for her sake. He took another sip of his drink, trying to look like he was still enjoying their time.
His eyes scanned the room, and landed on a very shocked Clara.Crap.That was not how this was supposed to go. He started to stand, but she was already bolting out of the door.
Marsh noticed, and pulled on his hand. “You can explain later. Please, stay a little while longer. At least finish your drink.”
He was tempted to down the drink, but as kind and lonely as Marsh was, he knew she deserved a little bit more from him. So he sat back down and played the part she wanted from him: the casual boyfriend.
His thoughts weren’t in the moment. Clara took all of his concentration with her. There wasn’t a good way to explain this. She was most definitely going to be pissed. Not ideal.
45CLARA
Clara ran a couple laps through the alleyways as she calmed herself and generated a plan. What she really wanted was a punching bag. There wasn’t anywhere she could go for that. So she stuck with running, hoping that would be enough to clear her mind. It almost was.
By the time she was back at the bookstore, her chest was heaving, and she wanted water more than she wanted to slam Carver’s head into the brick. Well, almost more.
Why did she care anyway? He didn’t mean anything to her. She shouldn’t care who he kissed. But she did. She realized that, the moment she stole the card and couldn’t help but think she would win Carver’s pride. She wanted his affection back. She wanted to be his. She had always wanted to be his.
He was right on one count; it was why she ended up in the army. She did follow him. She stayed for her, but she joined because of him. She couldn’t stand the thought of being separated from him in that way. Couldn’t stand the idea of him being in danger while she lived a perfect life, safe at home. She wanted to be there with him, wanted to stand by his side and face whatever would come.
He never understood that. He called her selfish, weak, conceited. Believed she did it for the sake of control or whatever else he had called it. If only he had listened to her for long enough to actually understand. Though, she had never been good enough at verbalizing. She might have tried to tell him everything, and still missed vital points.
She downed a glass of lukewarm water, and ate some cold leftovers. Carver and Marsh still weren’t back, and she debated what to do. He definitely saw her. She could stay awake and confront him when they got back. It would make her look stupid, it wouldn’t accomplish anything, and it would only frustrate her more.
Or, or, she could get in bed and pretend to sleep. Once he came in and went to bed, she would be able to slip out, break into the lab, and retrieve the weapon herself.
No, that would be foolish. Or would it? Her mind spun over the idea, and the longer she waited without Marsh and Carver returning, the more convinced she became that she could do it. She’d scare the crap out of Carver by disappearing, and then prove to him that not only did she not need his protection, she didn’t need his help either.
She also wouldn’t have to worry about leaving him to his own devices. She’d have the opportunity to scout the lab without his concern for innocent lives. She could kill every person in the lab, retrieve the weapon, and be back before Carver noticed she was missing. She’d keep him from dying and fulfill Command’s orders. The Raven would no longer be her concern.
She changed into black leggings and a tight long sleeved black shirt. Her shoes were set by the door, socks in the tops of them. She’d be able to grab them on the way out the door without nearing Carver.
She slipped the key card into the pocket of the leggings, ensuring that it was secure before she climbed into bed. Thoughshe was warm in the outfit, she kept the covers fully covering her body so he wouldn’t see what she was wearing. He wasn’t stupid. He knew her well enough that if he saw her clothing, he would assume what she was planning to do. She couldn’t take that risk.
She heard footsteps on the stairs, and her heart pounded. Acting was not her forte, and making Carver actually believe she was asleep wouldn’t be easy. She closed her eyes, and counted her breaths to keep them slow.
“Clara?” He whispered as he eased the door open.
He moved silently across the room, and she almost jumped out of her skin when he laid a hand on her shoulder. But she kept counting breaths and didn’t open her eyes.Please let this be believable.Now that he was next to her, the idea of fighting with him was so frustrating, she couldn’t stand opening her eyes to do that.
He stood there, hand on her shoulder for what felt like an eternity. “It was supposed to be you.” He finally whispered, and then removed his hand. She heard him flick the switch in the bathroom, and risked opening her eyes to confirm he had closed himself in. She rolled over, his words replaying in her head.It was supposed to be you. Me. It was supposed to be me?
What the hell did that mean? It was supposed to be her instead of Marsh in the bar with him tonight? It was supposed to be her? As in, they should still be together? Her mind spun over the words, but when the bathroom door opened, she resisted the urge to toss and turn. She was supposed to be asleep.
He laid down on his mat, and after a few minutes, his breaths evened out, and she knew she was close to home free. She wanted him to fall into a deep enough sleep that she could leave without him waking, so she laid there running through her plan for close to thirty minutes.
