“Nice scenery.” He muttered.
She shook her head and bent over to pack her bag. That certainly didn’t help, and he pulled his eyes away before she could stand up and accuse him of staring again. He had to get his mind straight.
“Sleep okay?” He asked.
“Since when do we make casual conversation?”
“I’m gonna go with no. Or are you just hormonal?” He winked when she glared at him.
“I’d slap you if you weren’t my partner.” She paused, straightening with her bag in one hand as she pondered, “Actually, I’d slap you anyway.”
He came up behind her, and though he knew it was a bad idea, wrapped his arms around her waist. She instantly struggled against him until he hissed, “Look.”
She relaxed against him as she waved at Julia. Carver knew her smile was only for Julia and that Clara still wanted to hurt him, but for a moment he could pretend all was right in his world. He could pretend he wasn’t memorizing the scent of her hair. He could pretend the curves of her body didn’t feel like home. He could pretend all of this wasn’t just pretend.
29CLARA
The rest of the trip to Noxvalis was miserable. The sun burned hot overhead, and Clara dreaded the sensation of Carver against her skin. She couldn’t get mad at him. He was just playing his role. The doting husband. Far more perfect in this play act than he was capable of in real life.
She had loved dating him, had loved being his. But even when they had been together, he never acted like this. Her heart ached; now she knew even when she had him, she never had the best parts of him. She supposed the fault lay within herself. He had assured her, over and over, that he truly liked her. Was truly in love with her. But she had always suspected he wasn’t fully sincere. It sucked to have her worst fears come true. At least she had been proven right.
Confusion ran rampant in her mind as it bounced between his intentions, her feelings, and the reality of the situation. He claimed he only wanted to protect her, but she knew he had thought her weak. Presumably still did. That was the reason he wanted to protect her. And that wasn’t a very good reason. She was highly capable, and constantly proved that, thank you very much. Maybe his intentions weren’t all that complicated.
Her feelings though,dang. There were moments when he grabbed her hand or spun her around and everything inside her feltaliveagain. She felt like the girl she was before. Before they broke up, before she became the monster she felt beneath her skin.
Julia walked with them for a little while, and kept a steady stream of chatter with Clara. Most of it was about her husband and her three boys, “They’re 9, 12, and 15 now. It feels like time has just flown. I don’t know what I’ll do when Ezra, that’s the oldest, you know, moves out in a couple years. I think it might just break me.” Clara resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the emotion in the woman’s voice. It was sweet, she supposed, that this woman was able to care so much about something so menial–a child leaving for school, or to work a job locally.
She wasn’t losing a child to the war, or being threatened with the extinction of her kingdom. Yet she was far more emotional than Clara would ever be. Instead of voicing this, Clara smiled and said, “I suppose that’s a sentiment I’ll understand better once we have children.”
She felt Carver’s hand tighten over hers, and she was proud she managed to catch him off guard. He wasn’t the only one capable of brilliant flirtation, regardless of what he said about her people skills. “In fact,” she pulled herself closer to Carver, tucking herself behind his arm. She had Julia’s full attention now as she whispered conspiratorially, “We’re hoping that it won’t be long until we have an announcement to make.”
Julia exclaimed in surprise, “You’re pregnant?” Clara was shocked that Julia could be so excited for someone that was a stranger to her. For the first time in a while, Clara felt human again. She felt less like an assassin, and more like her. It warmed something inside of her to see the care in Julia’s eyes, even if it was only because of a lie.
“Not yet, but we are going to try now.” She wiggled her eyebrows and Julia burst out laughing.
“Well, have fun in the process.” Julia winked, and Clara could feel the muscles in Carver’s arm tense. She squeezed tighter. “Though, as beautiful as the two of you are, I imagine you are having fun.”
“Oh, absolutely.” Clara gushed, “No one told me that marriage could be this much fun.” She laid it on thick, inwardly gagging at every word she said. But it would be worth it if Carver was uncomfortable.
He chuckled next to her, “Okay, Clara, I think that’s enough.”
“What?” She laughed, “You don’t like me telling people you’re good in bed? I thought that was a marker of admiration.” Carver flushed, and ducked his head.
“And he’s modest too?” Julia inserted, “Wow, you lucked out.”
“I really did,” Clara confirmed, now ready for the conversation to end. She succeeded in making Carver uncomfortable, and now she wanted to back out. As if noticing the change, Julia excused herself to check on the boys, claiming to have heard screams.
“I didn’t appreciate that.” Carver said quietly once they were walking by themselves again.
“No? There’s a lot I don’t appreciate either.” She responded curtly, keeping her eyes on the path ahead.
“That wasn’t part of the act though.”
“Really? I don’t think Julia will ever question whether or not we’re actually married.” She looked at Carver pointedly, “And if Julia doesn’t question it, no one else here will either. Don’t tell me it wasn’t part of the act. You’re just mad I figured out how to play my role so well so quickly.”
“I’m not mad.” His jaw clenched, tight enough she was surprised she couldn’t hear his teeth grind.
“No? You sound pissed.” Her voice stayed light, and she hoped her levity would fuel his anger.
