“However,” Max continued before he lost his train of thought, “if the genetic parents take new partners, those new partners will become family with the children. So I am the father of our three children. Not only did I marry their father, but I carried them. They were eggs in my body. I sat in the water for hours on end, holding Xander because he couldn’t swim. If you suggest they are not my children, I will be deeply offended.”
“And offended Max Father rips out guts with a maintenance hook,” Xander added, not so helpfully. Max groaned when hiscarefully worded argument was buried under the horror of that image. Hidden ones shrank back in fear.
Rick spoke up before their children’s “help” sent Max to the local hospital for the criminally insane. “Unbalanced one parenting resembles the obligation of the eldest sibling,” he explained. Something in his body language must have communicated his displeasure because Xander sank down until he was tucked behind the side of the bed.
Max added, “Among my people, it's also common for a surrogate to have an emotional bond with the child or children they carry. The pirates would have killed the children and probably killed me and Rick, too. I don’t eviscerate anyone for an insult... or a broken bone.” Maybe he wanted to for that last, but he couldn’t have Rick’s people think he was a psychopath.
“Correction. They would enslave me after killing family,” Rick corrected him, like that was any better.
Max continued. “My people only kill to save our families.” Max winced. “Usually. Good Unbalanced ones will only kill for family. Or to protect the innocent or, you know, to defend themselves in case of...” Max saw the growing fear in his audience’s asymmetrical eyes and closed his mouth. The silence was claggy and stifling, but Max didn’t know what he could say to improve the situation. Diplomacy was not his forte. It wasn’t even his mediocre.
The government official seemed to be having some trouble typing, but given that his tentacle had a tremor, it wasn’t surprising. “How many Hidden ones have chosen Unbalanced ones for surrogate?”
Max gave him credit. His voice was calm, even if his arms shook. Hidden ones survived by hiding or running, not by confronting pirates with maintenance hooks, so Max was probably their worst nightmare. “Including me? One.” He smiled. “I’m unique.”
“His internal digestive tract is pleasantly asymmetrical,” Rick agreed. Max’s face warmed.
The official twirled around until his largest eye was on Max, and Rick’s tentacles tightened to the point it was almost painful.
The official paused for a moment as though thinking about that before saying, “Confirmation, occupation of Max is surrogate.”
“Oh, hell no. My primary occupation is military pilot.”
Kohei slipped his tentacles out of Max's grip and whirled in front of the official. “Max Father is killer of outsiders who would steal from Great Thinker and end his genetic line. Max Father trained to protect those who do not fight from those who would kill those who do not fight.”
Max suspected that was Kohei’s attempt to define war, but it wasn’t like Max had spent much time fighting. “My occupation is flying a plane, one with weapons capable of destruction. But most of the time, I fly a plane and watch the enemy or search for them.”
“And kill them if they threaten those under protection,” Kohei said firmly. Max had to wonder what Dee had been telling the kids... or more precisely, what the kids had been asking her.
The official did a quarter turn. “So you are surrogate and operator of machine capable of killing, but your primary purpose was to gather information on enemies?” He sounded confused.
“Accurate.”
“Correction. Primary purpose in previous months is designer of weapons,” James said loudly. “Max Father and I improve many, many weapons for outsiders who are foolish.”
Xander then spoke up. “More primary purpose is deciphering laws to improve trade for Hidden ones. He creates hidden places inside laws when outsiders believe they have trapped Rick Father in unprofitable trade.”
“Max can be surrogate and fighter and designer and negotiator. He can hide and confront,” Rick said proudly. Max knew that for Hidden ones, that was unusual, and unusual was attractive for them, so he didn’t point out that most humans did multitask. Hell, parenting and having a second job was absolutely normal. Max wondered if Hidden ones would eventually decide it was normal and stagnant and boring.
“Age of Surrogate, Operator Max, query.”
“Thirty two.”
“Identify number of children carrying your genetic pattern.”
“Zero,” Max said with confidence. He had three children, but none had his eyes. In fact, they would look odd with colored eyes because Max was used to the milky white color of Hidden one eyes.
“Number of tentacles dominant. Query.”
“Dominant?” Max asked.
“Two,” Rick answered for him. That made no sense, but before Max could react, he noticed the bubbly sounds of amusement, and that with the curled tentacle tips suggested it was not a kind sort of humor.
Kohei surged forward and grabbed several tentacles of the nearest bubbling Hidden one. He jerked so the guy’s bulbous head hit Kohei’s in a squishy head butt. The official’s tool hat–filled with computer displays and pens and weird little gizmos slipped off his head. “Disrespectful of differences!” Kohei bellowed, and all the bubbling stopped.
“Kohei requires more calm,” Rick bellowed. Max was too shocked to say anything as his calmest child appeared to shake and head-butt the other Hidden one into submission before he dropped him in a tangle of tentacles and eyes on the floor. Then Kohei retreated as the other Hidden one slowly untangled himself and retrieved his hat.
“I attempt to complete required answers for paperwork!” the official complained, but most of the Hidden ones had their dominant eyes focused on Kohei, which made sense. Hidden ones hid. It was in the name. Even James and Xander–with all their talk of weapons and violence–had retreated to the corner of the bed. Talking was one thing, but Kohei had channeled his inner wrestler. They were as shocked as the strangers.
