The question caught Allie off guard, and she took a few seconds too long to answer. “What? Yes.”
“Because I think Shank is more like me than you,” Becca said sadly.
“What are you talking about?”
“I know you’re hypersexual, and I always respected that choice...” Becca let her words trail off as she seemed to look at everything in the room that wasn’t Allie.
Discomfort started building in Allie’s gut. “Why do I hear a big ‘but’ in that?”
“But it hurts when you really like someone, and they don’t like you back nearly as much,” Becca said. She turned bright blue eyes toward Allie, and Allie felt her stomach drop as she realized what Becca wasn’t saying.
“Oh God.”
“And that’s fine,” Becca hurried to say, “because you never made it seem like you had more planned than some really fun nights. And we did have fun. I wouldn’t want you to think it wasn’t fun. And great. Totally great.” Becca started blushing. With her pale skin, she could light up entire stations with her blush. “But sometimes I just wished for something else.” She finally met Allie’s gaze.
“Shit. You have to believe I never would have done anything to hurt you.”
Becca nodded. “I know, and I know it was all about me having fantasies that had almost nothing to do with reality, because you never made promises. You never even implied promises. But when I look at Shank, I can see that same hope in him, and when back on theCandiru, you would choose someone else, he was always a little—” Becca waved her hand in some vague gesture.
“Yeah. I was a heartless bitch,” Allie said.
“What? No! No, that’s not what I said, because you aren’t. You’re just... You’re so strong, and I think sometimes you forget the rest of us aren’t.”
“You’re as strong as I am,” Allie said firmly. Becca was quiet, but she never backed down when it mattered.
“I’m not as loud about being strong, and I’m not so sure I am as firm in what I believe. When I first shared blankets with Ben, I was afraid he’d catch your eye because I’m not as big as you are. I mean, your personality. You have this big personality. God, I’m saying this all wrong.”
“So you thought I’d steal your boyfriend?” Allie was starting to think all her friends thought she was emotionally vicious.
“No. Well, not really.” Becca seemed to shrink in on herself. “I thought Ben would get tired of me, and you’re a lot more fun. I’m more on the quiet end of things, which is why I think I’m a little more like Shank. And sometimes when you’re quiet, it’s fun to have someone who can pull you out of your shell.” Becca’s blush returned, staining her neck red.
Allie wondered if they were having some coded discussion about dynamic sex that she wasn’t understanding.
“You’re far more beautiful than I am,” Allie said. Becca opened her mouth, but Allie raised a hand to stop her from interrupting. “That’s not me having body issues, because I don’t. I am an attractive woman, but you’re beautiful and delicate. Trust me. Whoever assigned you as a gunner only looked at your test scores and not your picture, because people react to you differently because you’re so beautiful.”
“That’s not always good.” Becca wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“Well good or bad, I think Ben would be an ass if he got bored with you.”
Becca gave her a disbelieving look, and Allie realized that as the ex-lover, she probably should have phrased that differently.
“I never got bored,” she said.
Now Becca looked faintly offended, probably because she thought Allie was lying.
“I didn’t. Maybe it’s that I’m more dynamic than I thought. Maybe it’s just my connection with Shank hits some spot I didn’t know I had, but I never got bored with you. We didn’t fit, not in a forever kind of way, but I wasn’t bored. Ever.”
“You and Shank are dynamic?” Becca’s eyes got large. Allie could almost see the unspoken questions floating in the air, and this was the part she really hated. The only sane regulation Command ever designed was the official registration of sexual orientation. It stopped all the awkward conversations about who liked what. Right now, Allie felt like she was back in high school and about to get into a giggling conversation about sex.
“Oh, thank God,” Allie said as she spotted three armed men heading for Shank and Ben. “We’re on.”
Becca turned her chair and looked at the monitor. “Are they from theMonitor?”
“No clue, but they look like they’re interested in more than talking.” Cetan had warned them to expect any serious sellers to do a little pushing and intimidating to make sure they weren’t Command or SC. The station was thick with SC, and ships were trading stories of Command raiding everything that flew the black. TheMitakuye Oyasinwasn’t the only one to run into a stray hyperspace thread either.
Their three friends were several decks belowMitakuye Oyasinwhere the smaller ships had berths, and Allie grabbed the station map to double-check their position. It was an awkward spot with only two access points, but that was why the rougher crews chose that stretch of station.
Allie watched Shank’s camera feed as he glanced back at Copta. She looked calm. She’d tossed the ends of her head scarf over her shoulder in a way that covered the bottom of her face, hiding it. Shank looked over, and the camera showed Ben with his loose-limbed stroll. His eyes scanned the crowd. And then Shank focused on the three armed men coming up from the general direction of theMonitor.
