Then he's gone.
I stay in bed for a while after the door closes. Staring at the ceiling. Listening to the radiator clank.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand. A notification from the Vektor careers page.Your application is being reviewed.
I applied last night. After he fell asleep. After the sex that felt like a performance we were both too tired to quit.
I didn't tell him about this job.
I don't know if I will.
I get up, make coffee, open my laptop. The flat is too quiet without him. It always is.
I pull up the live timing for Kvitfjell. The first training run is tomorrow.
I'll watch. I always watch.
Even when I wish I didn't.
***
NICO
The bus smells like wax and stale coffee. Lukas is asleep against the window. I'm staring at my phone, at the photo of Élise and me from Schnepf'n Alm that someone reposted with the captionPower couple goals.
We look good in the photo. Happy. Like two people who have their shit together.
I lock the screen.
Kvitfjell is the fix. Two downhills. Two chances to prove I'm still fast, still relevant, still the guy everyone thought I was.
Two chances to win enough prize money that I stop calculating hotel costs in my head every time she looks at a train schedule.
Two chances to be the version of myself she fell for in the first place.
I lean my head against the seat and close my eyes.
I’ll bring back a trophy and a better mood.
I meant it as a joke.
It comes out sounding like a promise I'm not sure I can keep.
Chapter 15
The Breaking Point
Playlist:
Imagine Dragons: Whatever It Takes
Loren Allred: Never Enough
