Meleri bowed her head at that and said nothing, but she didn’t argue Caris’ point again. Letting out a soft breath, Caris looked at Clarence, who gave her a slow nod back.
“If you need an airship, the army will provide you with one,” he said.
“You need those airships for the war. Blaine and Honovi have agreed to fly me to the Warden’s Island.”
“I’ll be going with you,” Lore said.
Caris managed a smile for the other woman. “I would expect nothing else.”
Meleri cleared her throat, drawing Caris’ attention. “We’ll need to prepare an announcement, then. I’ll work on that while you’re traveling.”
It was a peace offering of sorts, an acknowledgment that Meleri would follow Caris’ commands in this moment. “Thank you.”
Clarence tapped his finger against the table. “With this sorted, let’s bring in the others again and continue our work.”
Caris didn’t argue that request and settled back in her seat, getting as comfortable as she could for the work ahead.
Eight
NATHANIEL
“Nathaniel.”
Nathaniel looked up from stirring jam into his tea, watching Caris enter the formal dining room. The sweetness from the berries went well with the floral notes of the drink, and using the jam helped stretch the household’s sugar supplies. Sugar was rationed, and he, like Caris, had donated their additional shares to the nurses, doctors, and healers manning the pair of hospitals within Cosian.
“Is it time to depart?” Nathaniel asked, setting the teaspoon aside.
Caris quirked a smile at him, her dark hair loose and falling to her shoulders. It was short enough that she’d have no trouble tucking it under a leather flight helmet. Her trousers were tailored for a tighter fit, and her blouse was long-sleeved despite the warmth outside, corset belt cinched tight around her thin waist.
“Honovi said theCelestial Spritewill launch at noon. Maurus is seeing to our travel trunks and the motor carriages. He said he would retrieve us when they were ready.”
“Where’s Lore?”
“With the duchess. She left before breakfast but said she’ll meet us at the airfield.” Caris tilted her head a little, studying him. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know what good will come of me traveling with you to the Warden’s Island. You can’t speak of any strategy around me. I feel I would only be a threat.”
He tried not to sound bitter, for he knew why the precautions were taken by everyone else where he was concerned. But Nathaniel wanted desperately to be of use, to fight, to be something more than the burden it felt like he was.
Caris came to him on quick feet, her boots making no sound on the soft rug spread beneath the dining table. The colors in the rug weren’t as vibrant as they’d once been, but it still paired well with the orange and gold wallpaper accents of the room. It made the space feel warm and inviting, cozy for the small Dhemlan family that had lived here over the years.
Caris took the chair beside his at the table, angling it so she faced him rather than the empty room. “I want you with me, for however long I have you.”
Nathaniel reached for her hand, fingers tightening around hers. He drew her hand to his mouth, pressing and holding a kiss to her fingers. She stared at him, her gray eyes wide and trusting, and the love in her gaze was something he didn’t know if he deserved, not after what he’d done and what he’d become.
They both knew the clockwork metal heart that beat in his chest, powered by alchemy and magic, was the only reason he was alive. His mind couldn’t be trusted, and Nathaniel woke up from nightmares every week about the potential treachery he could inflict on those he cared about.
“You have me,” Nathaniel promised.
“Then never doubt you belong by my side.” She tugged her hand free and pressed it against his chest, over his shirt and waistcoat, all his scars hidden by the clothes he wore. “You’ve suffered more than any of us, and I won’t have anyone blaming you for something that was not your fault.”
Nathaniel covered her hand with his, breathing in deeply. He’d lost his family, then his heart and his free will. He had no hope his parents and siblings were alive, not after the seizure of their company and their arrest by debt collectors for the crime of aiding and abetting the Clockwork Brigade. Last he’d heard, they’d been shipped west, and he knew what happened to prisoners of war.
“I can provide nothing to this war. I’m no soldier, and what aid my company once offered was stolen from us.”
All the steam trains the Clementine Trading Company once owned and operated had been seized and repurposed for Daijal’s needs. He couldn’t even be sure any of their employees had escaped the punishment given his family. He hoped they had, for he wouldn’t wish that horror on anyone. He knew what it was like to be a dead man walking.
Caris’ expression softened, and she shifted on the chair, her knee brushing his. The closeness they indulged in certainly would not have been allowed under the norms of high society. If this war had never happened, Caris’ parents would be seated at the table with them, and they wouldn’t be so overtly affectionate.
