“If I didn’t have my power when I was shot, it should have kicked back in once you got my heart beating again.”
“Your brain had been without oxygen for a number of minutes. Your brain scans weren’t even close to baseline. I couldn’t take the risk. I’ve been partially bringing you out of stasis in order to heal you slowly to ensure minimal possible brain damage, healing power or not.”
Kyle reached up and rubbed the heel of his palm against the side of his head. “I don’t remember getting shot. Or anything, really, from that day.”
“Traumatic memory loss isn’t unexpected after what you went through. The memories might still be encoded in your brain’s neurons. There’s a chance that Katie or another telepath could retrieve them, but it will have to be done within Medical and it won’t be today.”
Kyle rubbed his thumb over Jamie’s hand, turning to look at him. Jamie’s blue eyes had lost the redness from tears, but there was a weariness, a fragility in his gaze, that Kyle had never seen before.
“No,” Kyle said softly. “I don’t need to remember that.”
Jamie’s quiet sigh of relief was all the evidence Kyle needed to know he’d made the right choice.
“Then I’ll inform the director of your decision,” Gracie said. “I’m keeping you in ICU for at least another day, maybe two. I want your scans to level out a bit more. I’ve made it clear to the director that any debrief of you will happen after I’ve cleared you to be discharged.”
Everyone in the MDF, the director included, knew better than to fight Gracie on the care she gave her patients. Until she released them, no one else had claim, and even the brass toed that line.
“Thank you, Gracie,” Jamie said.
The wealth of emotion in his voice had Kyle wanting to crawl into Jamie’s lap and hold him. Gracie seemed to understand that they still needed some privacy, because she signed off on whatever she needed to before minimizing the holoscreens.
“Get some rest, Kyle. I’ll be back in a couple hours to check on you,” she said.
She left, and then it was just him and Jamie and a slew of questions tumbling through Kyle’s mind.
“Where were you today?” Kyle asked.
Jamie lifted Kyle’s hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “Matthew lost his second-in-command during the attack. We buried him today.”
Kyle bit his lip, feeling a rush of relief that it wasn’t Matthew. “I’m sorry.”
Jamie worked his jaw, gaze distant. “It’s been a long week.”
“I bet,” Kyle said quietly.
“They wouldn’t let me see you. Wouldn’t let any of us see you. No one was sure you’d make it through, even with your power and Gracie’s. Too much trauma happened to you while you were without your power.” Jamie took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Katie has been in my thoughts since the attack, making sure I didn’t do anything stupid.”
“Fuck.” Kyle let his head fall back, having an idea of what Jamie meant by doing something stupid. “I’m glad she kept you in line, but I can’t believe I’ve been unconscious for an entire week.”
Jamie nodded. “Worst week of my entire life.”
Kyle didn’t doubt that. “I mean it, you know. I don’t blame you, even if I can’t remember. I never would, Jamie.”
“I know.”
“Then stop blaming yourself.”
“It’s not that easy, Kyle.”
“I know that, but just promise me you’ll try. Please?”
Jamie lifted his hand to cup Kyle’s jaw. “I can’t. Not right now.”
Kyle didn’t push, just turned his face into Jamie’s touch. “Okay.”
Kyle knew it might take years for Jamie to forgive himself, but Kyle vowed to always remind him whenever Jamie needed it.
They had time, after all.
