“I’m wearing my ring, Jamie. Why am I wearing my ring while on base?”
He asked the question in a hushed whisper, but Kyle’s frustration at what he didn’t know and fear of being discovered bled through. Jamie didn’t seem to share his fear, judging by the way he pressed a kiss to Kyle’s ring.
“What do you remember?” Jamie asked.
“I remember making you coffee, but you took my ring off. Everything after that…” Kyle’s voice trailed off and he made a frustrated sound in the back of his throat. “Why can’t I remember?”
Jamie carded his fingers through Kyle’s hair, cradling his skull. “You still had your ring on when I left for the State Dinner. I’m guessing you didn’t take it off before…”
When Jamie didn’t finish his sentence, Kyle twisted his hand in Jamie’s grip, holding on tight. “Justtellme. Please, Jamie. I need to know.”
“Stanislav was behind the attack on D.C. It was the only location targeted by the Sons of Adam where an attack took place. Declan attacked the condo before anywhere else that night,” Jamie said in a hushed tone. “He took you to Stanislav.”
“He took me to Russia? Did they field a teleporter?”
“No, Stanislav was here, in D.C.” Jamie took a deep breath, his fingers shaking against Kyle’s body. “He wanted me to come to him, and he knew I would if he had you.”
Kyle thought about the scans Gracie had been studying, the way he felt so,sotired, and how he couldn’t remember anything between now and the easy morning he’d shared with Jamie in the past.
“What did he do?” Kyle asked desperately.
Jamie’s expression crumpled, and he shook his head a few times. “It wasn’t him.”
“Don’t lie to me—”
Kyle had to steady them both when Jamie suddenly surged forward, pressing their foreheads together as he framed Kyle’s face with both hands.
“Ishot you,” Jamie got out in a few ragged gasps. “To get to Stanislav, I had to go through you. Ikilledyou.”
The tears on Kyle’s cheeks weren’t his own. In a daze, Kyle lifted his hands to thread them through Jamie’s hair, tugging until Jamie was forced to lean back and look him in the eye.
“You didn’t kill me, Jamie. I’mright here.”
It might be the truth in the moment, but it wasn’t the only truth between them, even if Kyle couldn’t remember Jamie’s supposed betrayal. And Jamie’s truth—hisgrief—felt more real than the blankness in Kyle’s mind.
Kyle wrapped his arms around Jamie and pressed their mouths together, lips sliding over each other. Jamie tasted like salt, his tears stinging Kyle’s chapped lips.
“I don’t remember,” Kyle whispered. “I’m sorry. I wish I did.”
At that, Jamie shuddered against him, pulling back. “Idon’t. Fuck, Kyle, I don’t want you to remember how you died.”
“I heal.” He waved a hand up and down in the air to encompass his body. “I healed.”
Jamie shook his head, face pale beneath the red blotchiness from crying. “Blanchett was still alive. When I shot you…her nullification field was still in effect. Your body was human, Kyle. You couldn’t heal.”
Kyle stared at Jamie, blinking slowly, trying to process that detail. A nullification power disrupted metahuman powers, acting as a kind of biological EMP. If he’d been unable to heal after being shot—
Fuck, no wonder why Jamie was a complete wreck.
“Head or heart?” Kyle asked quietly, thinking about the scans Gracie had been studying.
Jamie pressed his hand against Kyle’s chest, fingers spreading wide, and didn’t say a word.
Kyle closed his eyes for a moment, forcing his breathing to remain steady even as the biobed sensors telegraphed his heartbeat to anyone who could hear. He pressed his left hand over Jamie’s, tangling their fingers together.
“You told me—” Jamie broke off, swallowing thickly. It took him almost a minute to find his voice again. “You told me to do it. And that’s not an excuse, nor me trying to shift the blame, becauseIwas the one who pulled the trigger. That’s on me.”
It sounded like something Kyle would say, even if he didn’t remember saying it. From all the years he’d spent staring through the scope of his sniper rifle, living and breathing his role as overwatch and taking a shot after weighing a life, Kyle knew a truth few others did.
