Nazari’s gaze was calm and assessing as he studied Jamie. “Regulations exist for a reason, Callahan. They are there as much to keep order as they are to keep you safe.”
Even if the MDF had been notified of Jamie and Kyle’s relationship and they’d been separated accordingly, it wouldn’t have stopped Jamie from worrying about Kyle, or loving him. He wouldalwayslove Kyle, but in the end Jamie knew it would never be enough to absolve him of his sins—for shooting the man he loved in the heart and ripping out his own in the process.
There was no fighting a war with clean hands, no coming home whole, if one came home at all. In the end, Jamie’s decisions were his to own, but this was not the life he wanted to live.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Jamie said through numb lips.
“Apologies won’t change what happened, but I didn’t come here to get one. I understand why you chose to do what you did to win, Callahan.” Nazari paused for a moment before continuing. “I want you to remember you’re not alone in all this, no matter what happens from here on out.”
Jamie looked at the mourners filling the grass around the gravesite, grief an almost tangible thing. “This doesn’t feel like a victory, sir.”
“Perhaps in time it will.” Nazari patted him on the shoulder, nodding at the crowd. “Let’s get you back to your family. When this is over, you’ll follow me back to base.”
Jamie wasn’t sure he’d be up for any sort of meeting at the moment, but he knew better than most people that just because he wanted to rest didn’t mean he could.
Nazari escorted him back to the group of mourners, his team waiting for him on the outskirts, ready to pull him back into their protective embrace. Jamie ultimately ended up standing between Katie and his father. Some minutes later he caught sight of the honor guard detail from the 3rd United States Infantry Regiment, better known as the Old Guard, lining up by the road. Farther away, a black hearse leading a line of cars slowly drove toward them.
Jamie stood at attention as the hearse came to a stop in the road, one lone soldier in the honor guard detail performing a slow salute, which was returned by the officer in charge. Between the road and the gravesite stood a rank of uniformed men and women, holding their rifles by the barrels, the buttstocks resting on the ground near their feet. A senior NCO presided over them, and as the driver got out of the hearse, the NCO called out his orders into the silence.
“Present arms!”
The men and women under his command smoothly lifted their rifles as one and held each weapon in front of their bodies perpendicular to the ground.
Jamie, like every other man and woman in uniform, performed a slow salute in kind.
The driver came around the hearse to open the rear door. He stood out of the way as the officer called forth the honor guard detail, who somberly marched to the hearse. Six men and women in full dress uniform lined up in two rows of three on either side of the hearse to receive the flag-draped coffin in their white-gloved hands.
With perfect, precise motions, the honor guard detail stepped onto the grass and carried the fallen to his final resting spot, guided by a chaplain. The family members followed behind, grief making them slow. Jamie held his salute until the coffin had been set on the stand over the grave itself and the honor guard detail secured the flag. Only then did he lower his arm.
The chaplain was an older man in his fifties who held himself straight-backed with shoulders squared throughout the service. Jamie let his gaze travel over the crowd from time to time, taking in the quiet rustle of people shifting in their chairs or where they stood on the grass, the way so many leaned against each other for support.
Beside him, Katie subtly pressed the back of her gloved hand to his as she stared straight ahead. Not for the first time did Jamie ask himself what he’d done to deserve her as a friend.
You were yourself, nothing more,Katie told him.Despite everything, you are still that same man I’d walk through fire for. We all would, and we all have. Don’t ever forget it. We’ll stand with you no matter what.
An inquiry into his actions as captain of Alpha Team was inevitable, as Nazari had confirmed. Whether or not Jamie earned a letter of reprimand or even a court-martial, nothing would compare to the punishment he was currently living through.
Don’t throw away your career, Katie. Not for me.
They either get all of us, or none of us, Jamie. I have only one captain.
Jamie had to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep from making a sound.It may be none.
Because he’d meant it that night, in the courtroom, the memories a scar in his mind Katie gently eased aside.
He couldn’t do this alone.
Then so be it,she promised.We aren’t leaving you.
The director might not like losing all of them, but he would dislike losing Katie more. Considering what Katie had accomplished in the field—merging two psionic powers into a greater whole—Jamie highly doubted the MDF would be willing to let her go so easily. If there were leverage to be had, Katie held the most right now.
Jamie stared straight ahead, listening to the drone of the chaplain’s voice as he finished up the service. The chaplain’s words were meant to comfort, but there was no comfort in burying the dead.
The honor guard detail was called forth once more, the chaplain stepping back to give them room. They marched to their positions at the coffin, reaching down as one to lift the flag and hold it aloft with steady, white-gloved hands.
Once again, the senior NCO presiding over the riflemen and women issued his order to, “Present arms!”
Jamie lifted his right hand slowly in a salute as the first of three rifle volleys split the air. All around him, those in uniform did the same. The civilian mourners stayed seated or standing where they were, bearing silent witness to a last and final goodbye.
