When did he get to think of himself?
Only in that private room of the Lyon’s Den.
He forced the thought aside even as it filled him with a terrifying and uncomfortable truth. He had been lax in his duties lately. And aside from Eleanor’s situation with Waring, he couldn’t bring himself to feel any great remorse over it.
“You are nearing thirty. I was twenty-seven when your mother and I married, twenty-eight when you were born. It is long past time to look to your future. To the future of the dukedom and the future of the Fairchild family.…”
As his father’s familiar lecture continued, Ralston remained still and enduring, as he always did. None of the words were new to him, but his reaction to them was far more rebellious than he’d ever experienced before and the effort it took not to argueagainst some of the less valid points his father so frequently made was more taxing than usual.
By the time he was excused from his father’s presence, Ralston couldn’t even recall what he’d said to assure his father. No doubt, it was similar to what he always said.
I understand my role. I will not disappoint you or the family. I will endeavor to fulfill my duties to my utmost ability.
His strides across the great hall were long as he made his way to the front door.
Stepping outside he took a deep breath, hoping to dispel some of the weight he felt pressing down on his shoulders, realizing in surprise that the burden he perpetually carried hadn’t seemed so unbearable recently. Until today, that is.
Hoisting himself into the carriage, he tensed when he saw that it was already occupied.
“I need a quick moment, brother,” Eleanor said quickly, holding up a hand to halt any argument he was prepared to give. “Just a drive around the block, I swear.”
Ralston was not at all in the mood for further conversation, but there was something in his sister’s steady gaze—an urgency and stubbornness—he didn’t often see, so he gave a short nod then instructed his driver to circle the block.
As the carriage rolled away from the house, he lifted his brows in question.
Eleanor sighed, then smiled. “I overheard you and father talking in the study.”
His brow furrowed as he snorted softly. “Of course, you did.”
She narrowed her gaze at his remark before lifting her chin to continue. “I think you should disregard everything he said.”
“You do?” Ralston asked with a spark of amusement.
“Indeed.” His sister nodded, her expression shockingly earnest. “It is not unknown to me, or anyone who bothers to look at you with true curiosity, that you have been unhappy forsome time.” Ralston opened his mouth to utter quick denial, but Eleanor flashed a sharp look to silence him. “I don’t shame you for your unhappiness. If fact, I’m a bit surprised you’re not more morose considering all that you are forced to endure as Father’s heir. I do not envy you, brother. Not inthat, at least,” she added with a shrug, making him wonder what shedidenvy.
“I assume you have a point,” Ralston muttered, growing uncomfortable with her perceptive assessment.
She flashed a smile. “My point…is that I have noticed the difference in you these last couple weeks. Though your obvious distraction has made you wonderfully remiss as an escort and chaperone, it is clear that whatever—orwhomever—has stolen your focus, it has been a good change for you.”
He did not appreciate being chastised for his failings—even if she was clearly teasing—when he’d only just acknowledged them to himself. But he couldn’t argue against her point, either.
“Now, I can see that you are starting to berate yourself for no reason. I’ve been fine. Bridget and Lydia have been fine. We really are capable of managing ourselves, you know.” She tilted her head and pinned him with a dark, peering stare. “Areyoucapable of caring foryourself, brother?”
Ralston snorted.
“I have seen you with Miss Dickson,” she noted. “I know something is going on there.”
Ralston tensed. “I suppose the gossips are running rampant with tales.”
“Of course, but that is not why I bring up her name. I haveseenyou with her, brother. And I haveneverknown you to behave so intently toward another person. When you are with her…you are utterly engrossed by her.” Eleanor flashed a sly smile. “It’s rather fascinating to witness, actually.”
Distressed that she had observed so much, he gave a rough retort, “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I? My entire life, I’ve known you to be unflappable, totally focused, untouchably committed to your role as heir to the Lindley dukedom and eldest of the many Fairchild cousins. Don’t think I’m not aware of the weight of responsibility you must carry, brother. And you have certainly carried it well all these years. But when you are in the company of Miss Dickson—for the first time ever—I can see that you are just a man. As any other.”
Ralston scowled and opened his mouth to protest, feeling as though he were being judged for forgetting his duty to their family. But Eleanor stopped him with a quick shake of her head.
“It’s agoodthing. Youarejust a man, Ralston. Which is to say you are far more than the son of a duke. It’s time you allowed yourself to acknowledge that.”
