I swallowed hard, too taken aback to get defensive. He’d never played that card before. Nathan wasn’t like that. He didn’t throw out ultimatums in the heat of the moment.
“This isn’t a hobby,” he continued. “It’s who you are—and you’re denying it, you’re pushing it down, because of what? You’re afraid we might get hurt?” He pointed to himself. “I’m already hurt, Ash. The alternative can’t be worse.”
“It can if we lose each other,” I spat out, and those seven words set me off. My chest felt tight, unease churned in my stomach, and I just wanted to erase the past two minutes from existence.
“We’re not gonna lose each other.” He closed the distance between us and cupped my face in his hands. “We’re stronger than that, baby. We can find a way to enjoy the best of both worlds. It’s working for me, isn’t it?”
That was different. He didn’t require all that much intimacy with his rope bunnies, and bondage was nonsexual to him.
“You know that’s not the same,” I gritted out.
He nodded once. “But it was still something we had to work ourselves up to at some point. We didn’t dive in. I understand that you need an emotional attachment to a Little, but up until you’ve actually explored the kink, you don’t know just how much of an attachment. You could be worrying for nothing.”
I swallowed again, and my stomach tightened further.
“I’m not asking you to jump into a dynamic with someone else,” he implored. “I’m telling you to march your fine ass with me to the munch tomorrow. I want you to get involved. Make friends. Become a part of the community. You’ll find plenty of primal Sadists and Daddy Doms at Mclean.” He paused. “And yes, I picked today of all days to get on your case, because I have plans on Saturday, and once Micah and Lily come home, I doubt I’ll want to leave their side for the next several months.”
That motherfucker. He could tear me apart and put me back together in a hot second. I felt drained. Fuck the to-do list and picking up our suits. I needed a nap. I wasn’t completely healed—a potential future in kink still bothered me, but he was right. I’d been too dismissive about the lifestyle for too long.
“I’ll march my fine ass to the munch tomorrow,” I muttered.
He smiled and kissed me quickly. “Thank you. You’re in luck—they’re usually hosted on Sundays, but they wanted to try something new.”
Oh yeah, I felt really lucky.
“Uh-huh. By the way, we’re calling him Mikey, not Micah,” I said.
“That’s up to him, sweetheart.” He kissed me again. “Go pick up our suits—and don’t forget Hallie’s shoes.”
I nodded with a dip of my chin and stepped back, and it hit me I had one more thing to say. So I grabbed his hand and kissed the top of it.
“I’m sorry.” I meant it. I honestly hadn’t known he’d been so bothered—or even upset.
“Water under the bridge.”
Maybe. But now I had work to do. I had to show him I was willing to work toward a solution.
The following evening, as Nate’s old man was putting together a crib at our house and the kids got spoiled by our mothers, I found myself smack-dab in the middle of DC.
It’d been a while since I’d had a reason to put on a pair of nice pants and a button-down—unless we counted the flannel variety.
I folded up the sleeves as we walked toward the bar across the street.
“They turn that into a brunch place on Sundays?” I questioned.
“No, this is another establishment,” Nate replied. “I’ve mentioned Macklin, haven’t I?”
I nodded once. A switchy guy.
“They host the regular munch at his restaurant a few blocks from here,” Nate went on. “From what I understand—I spoke to Ivy, the woman who runs most of the munches—they’re trying to recruit more members from their own online forum, and a lot of people are busy on the weekends. So it was suggested to try a bar meetup on a Friday and see if more people show up.”
I guessed it was a decent plan if a lot of their members had children who kept them busy on the weekends. Not unlike us.
“So, the guys who founded the community… It’s Macklin, Reese, Colt, and…Lucas?”
“Um, Reese has a twin brother—River. And let’s see…” He squinted at nothing as he pondered. “There’s a woman too. Penelope, I think. Lucian. Oh, and Greer. That’s Kyle’s brother.”
I smirked. “Did you tell him we’ve met his brother?”
