I want so badly to leave this place, but I can’t bother Raeann. Not when she’s holding down the fort. I already feel like a burden with my bandage changes and keeping her and Micah from moving in together. “No, it’s okay. I suddenly feel tired. I think I’ll lie back down.”
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
“See ya.”
I drum my fingers against my thigh. Just because she can’t go with me doesn’t mean I can’t go out by myself. I heave open the closet in my room. I vaguely remember Raeann hanging up clothes in here after we first moved in. She told me we’d go on a huge shopping spree when I felt better since all of our things were lost in the fire, but these clothes would do for now.
I find a pair of sweats and an oversized sweatshirt—something that hopefully won’t rub against my bandages too badly but hide them enough that I won’t get embarrassed—and then grab a purse from the hook on the wall.Perfect.
I make a brief pit stop in the attached bathroom to throw my hair on top of my head, but then I get an almost instant headache, so I put it back down again and spray nearly a whole can of dry shampoo on it, making it at least look presentable.
My stomach churns as I head to the elevator. I haven’t walked out of this building in weeks, and never by myself.It’s just coffee, I tell myself. A quick little trip, something I would’ve done without thinking before the fire, so why my stomach feels like it’s gnawing on itself when the elevator doors open and I walk inside, I’m not sure.
Maybe because if Raeann finds out I left on my own, she’d lose it.
I breathe in deep, trying to relax. The elevator deposits me on the bottom floor, and when the doors open, I’m taken aback. I forgot how opulent the foyer was in this building. My gaze is drawn toward ornate columns that rise to the ceiling and split into carved arches, all spotlighted by the most intricate, show-stopping chandeliers I’ve ever seen. The fanciness of this building does nothing to help loosen the unease inside my stomach. In fact, it pulls tighter.
You don’t belong here, whispers through my brain in an echo chamber, and judging by the looks the doorman sends me, he thinks the same.
Once outside, though, the fresh air hits me, and I stand for a moment, feeling the sun on my face and the breeze lift my hair. Perfect. Normal.
I stand there for entirely too long, feeling the brush of my prior self. The girl who wasn’t scared to go out in public. The girl who didn’t avoid people or feel sorry for herself.
It fuels me as I glance left, then right. Raeann has been bringing me coffee from a place called The Daily Perk, and I spot it on my second look around. They have the best caramel lattes I’ve ever had.
People brush by, engrossed in their own minds, talking on their phones, and in general, ignoring my very existence, which does wonders for my confidence. I’ve been shut up in my room, but the whole world kept turning. Things kept happening. It goes to show you how disconnected we all are. We see some tragedy on the news, but what can we do but go on with our everyday life? Raeann must have felt this way after her world turned upside down. Like everyone else kept on living while she was stuck in her own nightmare.
I cross the street when traffic clears. Once I’m close enough to the building, the smell of delicious coffee reaches my nostrils, and I smile, picking up the pace. Though the aroma of coffee beans seems like such a small thing, it’s big to me.
There are a few people here and there when I walk inside, some sitting at tables with their laptops open or chatting low on the phone. I walk up to the counter and make my order, making sure the sleeves of my sweatshirt are down to hide the bandages.
The barista smiles. “That’ll be $9.83.”
I open my purse to swipe my card and freeze. My stomach drops. There’s no wallet in here. Nothing is in here. “Oh my God.”
I swallow a lump in my throat. I haven’t seen my wallet since before the fire. I’m sure Raeann has it somewhere or for all I know, it burned up, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have it now. I reach for my back pocket to use my phone wallet, but I don’t have a phone either. I knew that.
“Okay, this is embarrassing. I…um…”
“Cancel that last order,” the barista yells out.
“I usually do have money.” I pitch my voice lower. “I’m actually a business owner, I just…”
The barista looks me up and down. Not in a judgmental way, but her lips turn down all the same. She feels sorry for me. Which is so much worse.
“I’m fine. I’m just?—”
“Tab? Holy shit.”
That accent? Unmistakable. I might keel over and die right here.
I peer up to find Levi Soucy walking toward me, looking like the hunky dreamboat he is. Dark hair perfectly styled. Larger-than-life muscles. That face. It’s even more gorgeous with the surprised smile he’s giving me, and suddenly, I’m thrust into the past, staring through sooty lashes at this face. Unmarred. Hopeful. A beacon of light when I was pretty sure I was dying.
He wraps his arms around me and squeezes, pulling me out of my fascination. I hiss a little at the contact, and he immediately backs away. “I’m so sorry. I forgot for a minute.”
