1
Tab
The heat, like burning alive, it’s back…
Can’t breathe.
My chest desperately rises to inhale clean, fresh air, but it’s fruitless. I dissolve into coughs, the kind that are bone-deep, like my soul is leaving my body. Tears stream down my cheeks, escaping the sting in my eyes due to the smoke.
Our apartment is hell. Flames leaping up the walls, taking the roof hostage in beautiful oranges and yellows. I never understood when people said fires dance, but they do. Like each flame is having a party, destroying everything I hold dear. Delighting in my demise. And all the while, it’s gorgeous—if not fascinating—the way it consumes.
It’s the smoke, though, that is ugly. It fills every available crevice, even my desolate lungs. This is what it feels like to drown. To be so desperate for air, but it’s elusive. Or just plain nonexistent. Like the natural element has been ripped from my very being.
I choke and sputter. Overbearing terror creeps into my cells. It fills my entire body like a disease, clawing a tunnel into my veins and circulating through my blood until it is the only thing I can think about. Every weak beat of my heart, every unfulfilled breath.
Fear.
Fear.
Fear.
This is it.
“Hey.” A gentle hand rubs my shoulder, and I nearly jump out of my skin. No one deserves to be in this inferno with me.
My voice cracks. “No.” The tears come harder now, rivulets of salty liquid tracing down my cheeks and onto my lips like rushing falls.
Anyone but her. Or Athena. They’ve been through so much, already. I reach for the touch against my shoulder.
“Tab.” The voice comes again. Soft. Southern. Nearly angelic.
All it does is break me.
“Tab, wake up for me.”
The hand on my shoulder squeezes, and I have a blip of a thought before a massive cough steals my breath again. I sit up, the pressure in my lungs expelling in coarse, gruff exhalations.
My face is wet. So are my sheets and the flame pajamas with the wordHot!splattered over and over that I asked Raeann to make for me with the new sewing machine Micah bought her.
That’s right.My fists grip mynewsheets. Smooth, silky. Clean. I drag in a clear, oxygen-filled breath, a delight I plan on never taking for granted again.
“You had another nightmare.” This from Raeann. Beautiful Raeann. She’s fine. Athena’s fine, too, if not overworked since she has started helping me as well as Raeann.
“It’s because you called her from my room last night,” I choke out, my throat raw, like shards of glass have roughed up nearly everything.
“Well, you keep stealing my dog.” Raeann smiles, but I can tell it’s wrought with worry, her tone belying she doesn’t really agree with what she’s saying. She’s trying for me, though.
Almost since waking up in the hospital, I told her I never wanted to be considered a charity case. What I desperately need is to go back to normal. A new normal, sure, but as close as we can get to before.
I may have been a victim, but I’m also a survivor.
Raeann hands a tissue to me without another word. I take it, wiping the tears from my cheeks, discarding the evidence that no matter how much game I talk, my subconscious is always thinking about the fire. Reliving it. I’m in Dante’s rings of hell, and I can’t escape. “What time is it?”
“I was just leaving for the store.”
My shoulders fall a little. I should be up and heading to Pet Threads. They’ve only let me walk through the new location once, and it was before they even had any of the product there. Though with the pictures I’ve seen, Raeann and the gang have it under complete control.
Which I should be celebrating. Instead, I’m just annoyed.
