“What face?”
“The face you make when you think no one’s looking and you’re actually enjoying yourself.” He stands up, trying to peer at my phone. “Who are you texting?”
“No one.” I shove my phone in my pocket.
“Oh my god, is it someone from a dating app? Did you finally download one?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Travis.” Brocker says my name like I’m one of his disappointing students. “You’re thirty-two. You haven’t dated anyone since Albert, and that was two years ago. You’re a relationship guy pretending to be a lone wolf.”
“I’m not pretending anything?—”
“You own multiple types of screwdrivers. You own coasters. You’re literally the perfect boyfriend for a guy who wants reliability and someone who’ll remember their mother’s birthday.”
I don’t have an answer to that. Because there is validity to his argument. Well, I’m definitely not a one-night stand, casual hookup guy, anyway. Which logically makes me a relationship person who hasn’t been in a relationship for two years. The math on that doesn’t exactly work in my favor for my sex life.
Brocker stands, rummages in my closet, and then tosses my gym bag at me. “Look, all I’m saying is you’re wasting perfectly good boyfriend material by hiding in your apartment chatting with strangers online.”
“They’re not strangers,” I mutter, then immediately wish I hadn’t.
Brocker’s eyes light up. “Oh really? So you have internet friends? Is that who you were smiling at?”
“We’re not friends. We just…debate. About stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“Nothing you need to know about.”
Brocker rolls his eyes. “Come on, let’s get going. Maybe physical exercise will help you see reason. At the very least, it’ll burn off some of that frustration.”
I grab my gym bag, but as we’re leaving my apartment, I can’t help pulling out my phone one more time so I don’t leave SunshineGuy hanging.
TruthGuardian
You didn’t make it weird. And you’re right that cynics need cuddles too. I just get mine from a cat.
SunshineGuy
You have a cat?? How did I not know that?
TruthGuardian
It’s not MY cat. Ernest Hemingpaw belongs to the people in the apartment next to mine, but apparently, nobody informed him of property boundaries.
SunshineGuy
ERNEST HEMINGPAW? That’s an amazing name. Please tell me you secretly love him.
TruthGuardian
I do not secretly love him. I don’t appreciate having to purchase a small bag of cat treats to ensure peaceful Saturday mornings.
SunshineGuy
Wait, you give him treats? You’ve been adopted!
TruthGuardian
