And Luc…
I was still grieving our conversation, still reeling. Everything I’d thought, all the hopes and dreams I had pinned on Laras were gone. Luc was gone, or at least the Luc I’d known. That hurt like a death, nearly as much as Kaldur’s rejection.
Once, Luc’s blue eyes had sparked with fire and determination. I had listened to him for hours talking about the grand life he would make for himself here. And he’d almost done it too. That was perhaps the most heartbreaking thing.
But I didn’t know the Luc I’d met. That familiar and inspiring spark of fire had been extinguished from his eyes.
And he doesn’t want me around either,I thought. He’d made that abundantly clear, even though I’d meant what I’d said.
I wouldn’t give up on Luc. I would always be there if he needed me. But right now…he didn’t want my help. Not that I could even help myself right now.
I need to get back on my feet,I realized. I needed to be smart about this. I had a child to think about now.
The answer became clear, even though I didn’t want to do it.
I had to return to Vyaan.
Where I, at least, had connections. Where my references would mean something. I’d worked in the Vyaan keep, something I’d felt I had to lie about here. But in Vyaan, that would get me a job anywhere, especially if I had Maudoric behind me, which I thought I would.
From my pocket, I pulled the last of my credits, which I kept on me at all times.
I could either pay Ikrin for the next week…or I could spend half of it on a caravan ticket back to Vyaan.
Taking in a deep breath, I pressed my hand to my stomach. In all my panic, I’d never really given thought to what a child would mean. A little hybrid child, with budding horns and gray skin. Possibly wings.
If Luc’s determination had been extinguished in him, I felt like I’d taken all of it for myself.
It burned in me.
I wouldn’t let this break me. I wouldn’t let Kaldur break me. I would raise my child on my own if I needed to, and I would give him or her agoodlife. A good childhood, where they knew they were loved every single day. A child I would never abandon. A child I would love with every part of me.
At least one of my dreams was coming true. To be a mother.
But like everything in life, it came when I least expected it.
I didn’t wantto leave Laras without saying goodbye to Luc. I only knew that he worked at the docks, and so I waited there whenever I could since it was a short distance from Kyndri’s. But after two days, there was no sign of him and my time at Ikrin’s was up.
I finished out the last evening at Kyndri’s, having already looked up the timetable for the next caravan to Vyaan. I’d sent ahead a letter to Syndras, and I prayed to all the gods and goddesses I knew that she was back in the village after visiting family.
Kyndri knew I was leaving. “Sorry to see you go,” she told me when the last of the patrons cleared out. I’d brought my broken traveling bag with me to work this morning because I would leave straight to the transport station from here, catching the last caravan out tonight. “You’re a good worker.”
“Thanks,” I replied. With a heavy heart, I pushed a letter over the bar counter. The final one I’d written last night. “Will you do me a favor?”
Kyndri looked down at the letter. “For the hybrid male?”
I nodded. “I don’t know how to find him. But if he ever comes looking for me here, will you give him this? It’s…it’s important.”
“He the one who got you pregnant?” she asked next.
Surprise made me reel back. Was it obvious?
She chuffed out a soft laugh, shaking her head as she polished another jug clean. “I have three young ones myself. You think I wouldn’t know what was going on? Especially when humans show sooner?”
I looked down at my belly.
“I knew a human once who delivered within two months. After that first month, she looked like she’d swallowed akellufruit.”
“Two months?” I asked, hearing my audible gulp. “Well, let’s hope I have more time than that.”
